The History of the Family Essay Example
The History of the Family Essay Example

The History of the Family Essay Example

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  • Published: September 5, 2017
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In the peaceful night, before sleep overtakes me, I am surrounded by memories of days gone by: the happiness and sadness of my early years, the loving words that once filled my ears, the fading eyes and departed souls, and the broken hearts that were once full. Consequently, in the tranquil darkness before slumber embraces me, Sad Memory brings forth thoughts of happier times.

Thomas Moore

As we grow older, this is how we recall our family from our youth. The traditional concept of family is almost nonexistent in modern western societies. Even in other countries where it still exists, its importance is diminishing in urban areas.

In urban areas, many residents strive to adopt Western ideas and yearn for liberation from societal limitations. The definition of "family" has evolved continually. Following World War II, conventional households and their principles experienced a substantial decreas


e. Fortunes have undergone a remarkable transformation. According to psychologists and social scientists, the affection and assistance offered by a family during a child's crucial years play a significant role in their later mental well-being. This affection is invaluable. Historically, and still prevalent in rural regions today, children were raised as integral members of the entire village community.

Children in the eastern states have the privilege of growing up in extended families, where the entire community takes care of them. According to psychologists, these children rarely face any mental difficulties later in life. The unconditional love from the family is extremely fulfilling. It is believed that individuals who lack love and understanding often suffer from unstable mental health. As Wordsworth said, humanity thrives on love, respect, and hope.

Experiencing life without love is a challenging voyage, an

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those who are fortunate to receive unconditional love throughout their lives truly have a blessing. Love illuminates our daily existence and shapes our future happiness. Ultimately, it serves as the foundation for humanity's ultimate destiny.

In today's society, the concept of family is being redefined to adapt to changing times. Western countries now recognize both homosexual and heterosexual families, while traditional family structures have declined in these nations. On the other hand, eastern countries still uphold their traditional family system to some extent. The value of individuality has become supreme in our societies, resulting in a complete departure from traditional family values and the emergence of a new society. Ongoing debates revolve around how individuality has weakened the foundation of the family and its potential future consequences.

The argument states that the main culprits are individuals themselves, with their unlimited and sometimes irrational desires, causing discontent and tearing families apart. They predict a future of single men and women, driven by purely sexual attraction for others, devoid of love, attraction, and emotion. While this future may not be as bleak as portrayed, the fact remains that without family and friends, a support system, people would end up emotionally adrift. Social scientists believe that when our natural need for love is not fulfilled in other relationships, people feel compelled to rely only on sexual relationships, which may or may not be as fulfilling as expected, potentially leading to multiple partners and subsequent divorces. This would further weaken the already fragile structure of the family.

The presence of multiple households has caused more chaos than expected, failing to replace extended families. The emotional support provided by extended families is not

present in multiple households, which is unsurprising as these relationships are not established. According to Beck and Beck-Gernsheim (p.33), the process of individualization has brought about a radical change in all aspects of family life, gradually weakening the bonds that once connected life and family.

Today, people are relentlessly searching for the right way to experience love and emotional support from any relationship. It is not only sexual partnerships that humans need. Other relationships, such as family, friends, peers, and elders, can be highly supportive and comforting. These relationships, which we often overlook or even resent, are essential for all individuals, no matter how tempting freedom may be. There are various connections in life such as parenthood, motherhood, brotherhood/sisterhood, neighborhood, friendship, and intimacy that are uniquely crucial for proper mental growth and fulfillment.

The rise of absolute individuality has brought about a serious issue in which every relationship is scrutinized with disapproval, disbelief, and intuition. Some critics firmly believe that Sigmund Freud has greatly harmed the regular social life of humanity by positing the existence of gender as something unseen and non-existent! The recent example being the trial of Michael Jackson in the United States. Child molestation is undoubtedly a crime in all societies. However, Eastern societies, where same-sex molestations have yet to become prevalent, view sharing a bed with someone without any sexual intent as a normal way of life. These societies do not comprehend the offense committed by Michael Jackson, with a Japanese person attributing it to the crudeness of Westerners! Nonetheless, there is no denying that the epidemic of individualism continues. This may be due to the false happiness and satisfaction one hopes

to find in solitude, or the fear of responsibility and obligation towards others, or simply the arrogance that entices individuals into its grasp. People seek support and love from family in social workers and psychologists.

There is a growing trend in which individuals are becoming less comfortable with the concept of family life and marriage. They actively seek ways to avoid these commitments and create various excuses for doing so. The belief that the loss of personal freedom is inevitable is no longer widely accepted, as there are now numerous alternatives available.

An indication of this discomfort with getting married can be observed through the increasing popularity of prenuptial contracts. These legal documents serve as proof that people have concerns and anxieties about entering into marriage. The more conditions and stipulations included in such agreements, the greater the fear individuals have regarding an uncertain future, which the contract aims to address" (Beck and Beck-Gernsheim, 1995, p.).

According to Duck (1993, p. 5), the relational scheme can be influenced by cultural norms, household dynamics, and societal functions. These norms and functions are taught to individuals within each civilization and in each era. As a result, love and related relationships differ across different civilizations.

It is additionally based on the individual plan-based concerns. Generalization of relationships is usually not very practical, as each relationship in any culture changes continuously and does so, according to the circumstances.


Even in the 1960s, parents dedicated to each other and to their children, were considered to be the core of family life and support. This was before the flower people happened. In the end of the decade, things were changing in society and in the next

decade, families had already fallen apart and children were facing weekend parents, single parents, foster parents, irregular parents, divorced parents." What happened in the late 1950s and 1960s was a significant shift in the country's attitude to gender, marriage and the family in which immorality was no longer necessarily synonymous with illegality.

According to Pepplar (2002, p. 33), the Torahs concerning private ethical motives were relaxed, resulting in a distinction between public good and private morality. Various factors such as illegitimate children, non-native fathers, temporary partners, and relationships stemming from multiple marriages were prevalent and caused conflicts. Relationships, due to their nature of requiring interpersonal restraint, have an impact on our thoughts, emotions, and actions.

According to Duck, Steve (1993, p.2), specific relationships give rise to unique differences because of the constraints they impose. Love, often referred to as the secular faith of human life, is a desire that transcends boundaries. Love offers solace that can alleviate illnesses, banish bad dreams, relieve depression, open up new outlooks and opportunities, and provide countless motivations for survival. The love shared between siblings and parents begins from the moment a child comes into the world and endures throughout their upbringing. This enduring love is reciprocated as the child matures and lasts a lifetime.

As the child grows older and begins attending school, their love and connections expand to include their friends and teachers. Many stories exist where a lasting friendship has positively impacted someone's life. Similarly, there have been numerous exceptional teachers who consistently show unwavering love towards their students, causing them to see these teachers as role models and leading to remarkable results. Therefore, it is crucial not to underestimate

the significance of familiarity, friendships among peers, as well as the love and guidance provided by educators or other influential figures in society such as leaders and heroes.

In many societies, children are a significant motivation for marriage. According to MacFarlane (1986, p. 51), children fulfill their parents' needs in various ways, including the biological desire of women to have offspring and the universal desire for self-reflection, companionship, and objects to love and care for.

Even as adults, individuals continue to seek guidance from their parents and older relatives whom they hold in high regard. The influence of a distant uncle or aunt who played a strong role in a person's childhood can persist throughout their life.

Love is not limited to familial relationships but can manifest in diverse forms and variations.

Social scientists suggest that the influence of selfless and neighborly love can have a significant effect on a child's life. They argue that children who grow up in nurturing environments with loving parents, supportive extended family members, and caring communities are less likely to develop negative traits such as depression and feelings of failure later in life. It is worth noting that Eastern societies exhibit lower rates of mental depression and insecurity compared to Western societies. This distinction may be attributed to the lesser emphasis on individuality in Eastern cultures, although this trend is gradually changing in urban areas. Even today, these societies openly express love and affection without hesitation or shame.

This also indicates a significant decrease in the number of mental illnesses, suicide cases, depressive episodes, and instances of self-harm in Great Britain until the end of the 19th century. Additionally, personal autonomy and choice are

not insignificant matters. Love serves as a stabilizing force amid the challenges of everyday life, whether it matures into a deep affection or remains a simple preference.

According to Berscheid (1978, p. 91), researchers have gathered a lot of evidence showing that we are drawn to people who make our lives more pleasant on a daily basis. These individuals uplift us and help reduce feelings of loneliness, fear, and stress. While there may be other reasons for getting married, such as security, companionship, future comfort, and the desire to start a family, the primary reason still remains mutual love. Romance, which is another form of love that brings legitimacy and sensitivity to ordinary sexual relationships, has persisted in western societies for centuries and continues to do so, although it is rapidly declining.

Love affair used to be a powerful force that illuminated the essence of love. However, now it seems that individuality has triumphed over love affair. Those who value their independence prefer disconnected sexual relations over sentimental love affairs. Today, love affair is often seen as impractical and unnecessary. Yet, there was a time when love affair held great sway and romantic love was potentially more enduring. Love affair is the extra sparkle that distinguishes love from lust.

Traditional societies still believe that too much freedom for both genders would undermine the structure of society. They fear that free love and individualism could have negative consequences for the future of humanity. In these societies, romantic relationships and love wither away naturally. In contrast, in more liberated societies, a different issue has emerged.

Despite the belief that free love would lead to the abolition of all barriers and achieve

success, individuals are now relentlessly negotiating with love due to increased freedom and choices. The pros and cons of love are being debated, and people are being so rudely individualistic in their criticisms that love hardly has a chance. Additionally, the ongoing gender struggle has taken a toll on love, becoming one of its casualties. Women blame men's laziness and irresponsibility, while men blame women's liberation and changed perspective. The start of industrialization has always been accused of causing the rise of nuclear families.

Divorce rates often correlate with women being employed and having economic independence, but the importance of challenging traditional gender roles should not be overlooked. In general, married couples nurture their intimate connection within the comfort of their home, providing relief from the mundane routine and promoting happiness. However, it is vital to acknowledge that each individual interprets every relationship differently.

In a child-adult bond, the love and relationships are typically one-sided due to the child's inability to reciprocate in the same way as an adult. Emotions play a crucial role in family dynamics, encompassing both positive emotions like love and negative emotions like anger and sadness. Despite emotions being prone to change, the fundamental love remains steadfast. When joining a nuclear or traditional family, a child takes on a central role.

From birth, a deep connection is established between parents and their newborn, creating the foundation for lifelong love. This love remains unwavering despite any changes in family dynamics over time. The only potential difference may be that the child might receive slightly less attention from fewer family members. Nonetheless, they will undoubtedly still be cherished and adored by all family members, even in

a single-parent household.

Today, the rate of single parent households is increasing in countries like Germany. However, the child remains the primary focus. The care, love, and concern for children have stayed relatively consistent throughout history. Children are dependent and in need of attentive care and protection.

This is simply a result of an extremely dedicated expression of love, which the parents are capable of providing. The child's world revolves around their home, parents, and siblings. In this context, the home becomes the center, a place where everything is familiar, stable, and where relationships develop and evolve over time. There are various ways to feel and demonstrate love in any relationship. Trust, a desire to show affection, straightforward honesty, a need to share, friendship, respect, and a constant concern for the other person's well-being, even spending sleepless nights worrying about it, are some expressions of love within a family or an extended family. Most of these emotions are involuntary and are often reciprocated.

Showing loyalty and commitment in difficult times, accepting and embracing loved ones for who they are, not pointing out their mistakes, making excuses for them, providing unwavering support (even without knowing the issue), are all ways of demonstrating love. It gives the individual a secure feeling knowing that their family will always be on their side, regardless of whether they are right or wrong. The strong desire to be together is a common way of expressing love, longing for the person when they are not around, hearing their voice even from a distance. Showing interest in the personal affairs of loved ones is another way of expressing love. Family members are never indifferent to the

plans or changes in the lives of other family members.

They both support and violently oppose his programs, but they are always aware of his programs. Affection is typically given without expecting anything in return. At most, there may be hope for some fondness in return and nothing more, and this fondness is the foundation of all unconditional love. Typically, closeness within a family is granted without having to ask for it.

Siblings grow up together and naturally share and assist each other without question. This also applies to understanding one another's fears, weaknesses, strengths, and pitfalls. Sharing is ingrained and siblings are taught by their parents to share, forming the foundation of their relationship at home.

Parents provide plenty of guidance through their own actions. Children witness their parents making decisions not only for their benefit, but also for each other. Typically, parents expect their children to prioritize the interests of either the father or the mother, and as a result, children develop a deep appreciation for both parents. They learn to see their parents from the perspective of the other parent. The most powerful expression of love is forgiveness, which is given freely and unconditionally. It is a natural response that arises from love and understanding for one another, and it is the belief that the person who made a mistake will move forward, leaving behind any negative feelings.

Forgiveness serves both present comfort and future hope. It also encompasses a strong desire to minimize a wrongdoing through forgiveness, allowing the person who made the mistake to forgive themselves and move forward. Intimacy is another expression of love, particularly within familial relationships. Feeling a deep connection with

a family member is incredibly rewarding. While intimacy can also be found in friendship, it is natural within the family. Moreover, family love teaches the importance of prioritizing others before oneself.

In the eyes of those who love, the loved one becomes even more important than one's own ego. Being open and candid is another characteristic of familial relationships. Within the family, one can let their guard down and speak freely without fear of being mocked without reason, with the expectation of understanding and acceptance, even in the face of constructive criticism. There is no concern about the story being shared with a stranger, as family members are known to support each other during difficult times. People feel completely at ease within the family, surrounded by unconditional love. There is no need to put on a facade or display only their best qualities to their loved ones.

Regardless of which side they show or how they choose to act, individuals in a household know that they are accepted. Whether the household members achieve great things or not, the rest of the family still loves and accepts them. Families do not reject members just because they haven't been successful. They are appreciated for their past and present selves. Compassion naturally arises within a family. When one member is in a crisis, the others automatically show compassion.

Devotion to family members, love for a partner, care for children and grandchildren are the essence of family life. The same dedication also extends to friends, making life worth living. Along with devotion, love takes on another form: giving. Giving something to another person and seeing their happiness is the most exhilarating feeling

in the world. Unfortunately, in today's society, we often overlook this feeling. While acquiring material possessions may bring happiness, it pales in comparison to the joy of giving.

In addition to the joy of life, the experience becomes more enjoyable when shared with others. Traveling alone can be a lonely journey, but with family, we feel at ease discussing anything without fear. Even when we are disagreed with or criticized, we understand that the feedback is not intended to harm and often serves as constructive criticism.

Even making fun of negative judgment has a positive effect. Family always has the effect of making one feel good about themselves. Members feel good when they do things for others. It brings a sense of responsibility that comes from the time spent being aware. We feel responsible for the younger members of the family and also for aging parents.

We also have a strong sense of responsibility towards our extended family and those whom we care deeply for. Feeling duty-bound is a highly beneficial emotion that motivates individuals to assume more significant responsibilities in the future. This sense of duty prepares them to face larger tasks and challenges. The family provides all its members with a comforting sense of belonging.

The enduring sense of "homecoming" in the later years of life is something that can never be forgotten. Family also teaches patience. It involves being patient with each other's mistakes, accepting people even when they are at their worst, and compassionately understanding the emotions and challenges behind seemingly rude outbursts. These values are important in other places as well. The relationships formed within the family are lifelong and extend beyond this lifetime.


one generation passes away, the next generation carries the torch as members of the extended family, creating a sense of continuity. When family members are apart, they long for each other's company and cherish their reunions even more. They eagerly anticipate these gatherings to restore the feeling of being a complete family once again, and also to provide comfort to one another. In times of sadness, grief, or loss, our thoughts naturally turn to the support and security of our family.

Despite being physically separated from their families, individuals yearn to return to a time when they felt secure and long to reconnect with their remaining family members in order to find the comfort they once provided. Psychologists and clinical psychologists concur that childhood is the most positive period in a person's life, and although memories of later years may fade, memories of childhood linger. The bond with family never completely fades away. It remains strong while one is still part of the family and continues to be cherished throughout life, even after family members start their own families. This bond serves as the foundation for all family relationships.

The sexual activity between a married couple has its own righteousness and is socially accepted, making it guilt-free. While the physical actions may not be as passionate as they were in the past, they still show satisfaction and the need for each other. It renews the physical attraction and allows for unconditional acceptance, which humans deeply desire. The individual understands that their spouse will not ridicule them, providing a secure and satisfying feeling. It is commonly believed that couples with similar personalities form strong relationships and families.

"Itr has

been proposed that individuals who share similarities in personality, akin to similarities in attitude, are more likely to show mutual respect. Consequently, it has been suggested that such personality similarity should promote a stable and happy marriage," (Berscheid, p. 77). The source of a man's extraordinary emotions stems from the family unit, which he may later expand to include his own family or close circle of friends.

But these qualities originate from his first household and usually we give what we receive. Another great virtue of the household is the ability to laugh at oneself. No household is a flattering one, especially so if one has siblings. Siblings, just like friends, are the most blunt group and can be highly critical, bordering on ridicule. However, as they know each other well, this teasing is always taken in the most positive way. Laughing at one’s own mistakes is perhaps the best remedy for life’s difficulties.

Peoples are willing to make sacrifices for their family members, whether big or small. These sacrifices can be significant, such as giving up personal desires and pleasures for the sake of a child's education or future. They can also be small, like giving up a beloved toy for the happiness of a loving child. Regardless of the size, the important factor is the intention behind the sacrifice and the willingness to selflessly give up something for others. This act of sacrifice is not easy, as it requires overcoming human selfishness.

These sacrifices are made willingly, without any negative feelings and without expecting anything in return. The same applies to the assistance that members of a household provide to each other. This assistance is unquestioned,

accepted, and not excessively valued either. It is usually seen as a matter of entitlement, and the recipient hopes to support the giver if circumstances were reversed. Empathy is another emotion that is freely given, without asking for or expecting it.

It is evident that the rest of the household understands and relates to his struggles. It is inconceivable that empathy is not outwardly expressed. Admiration, especially within marriage, and parental respect are always available. These two forms of respect can be relied upon. In challenging circumstances, the certainty of these two types of respect motivates one to face many obstacles.

Typically, an individual believes that even if they do not win awards, the mere effort to do so will not go unnoticed. This cultivates a positive mindset within the entire family. Instead of feeling discouraged by their inability to achieve the ultimate goal, they are praised for their bravery and determination, which serves as the foundation for a positive and competitive life without resentment. Demonstrating kindness within the family is the best way to show love. A kind person is often appreciated as someone who "must be the product of a good family," and the basic kindness they received or learned from their family will not fade away in their later life; rather, they will pass on the same kindness to those around them. Usually, this kindness is accompanied by protectiveness.

People who have the fortunate advantage of receiving this protective kindness often become excellent parents when it is their turn. Another characteristic of these families is that they have a lot in common. Because of their shared culture, affection, and upbringing, they have the same goals,

aspirations, and hopes. They find humor in the same things and feel compassion for the same tragedies. This shared common ground brings them closer together.

They also get excited by the same occurrences. When narrating an extremely exciting incident to a foreigner, the storyteller usually does not know what reaction to expect. However, with the family, they are certain to expect excitement and enthusiasm, as they are aware of the shared excitement that thrills the whole family. The sense of security one feels with the family is never felt anywhere else.

It is the household against the whole universe. It is the same ‘we’ feeling that one gets, when the house doors and Windowss are shut against a horribly endangering storm, and the household sitting in a secure house with the fire combustion, and the freshness of security in the Black Marias. Harmonizing to psychologists, whenever an person is threatened by any fortunes subsequently in life, his head would shrivel and hotfoot back every clip to the same scene where he had ever felt the most secured individual. The household members normally think about each other all the clip. Whether they are physically together or non, the ideas are ever interconnected and this gives the heat that the other individual is believing about you and you are non truly lonely. Persons draw their energy and inspiration from that feeling.

The act of being valued and feeling concern from another person is essential for all individuals. Medical science has proven that thinking about a loved one can increase a person's heart rate, adding excitement to their daily life. This also creates a sense of euphoria and serves as a

highlight to anticipate. No matter how difficult the outside world may be, a family member gains inner strength from the thought of being reunited with their loved ones and sharing the ups and downs of the day with them. This euphoria cannot be taken away from them. It is comparable to gazing into each other's eyes, which is another intimate way of expressing love.

Love is often described as blind because it focuses on the positive qualities of the other person while disregarding any negative aspects or uncertainties. Typically, people in love only see the best in each other. This kind of blind love creates a sense of excitement and anticipation, making one feel butterflies in their stomach and experiencing intense feelings of affection. It forms the foundation of a family life, but can also bring about anxiety and fear.

Experiencing an excess of love results in a negative emotion, causing the person to constantly accumulate coldness (frig).

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