The Case of Sally and Mike Essay
Excessive stress and tension are usually factors resulting from many or major changes in an individual’s life, and as often the basis for a crisis situation. Family members do not operate in a shell, one person’s crisis can be the basis for or becomes the family’s crisis. There are many major sources of crisis that a family can experience including the death of a child which will be the focus of this essay. Most of the crisis a family or individual experiences have a primary victim and also have an impact on those who are connected to the primary victim.
The secondary victims are usually those connected to the primary victim who is in this case is the spouse of Sally. In today’s society we are always face with different stressors and crisis that we must deal with even though we might feel unable to cope. When faced with crisis if adequate intervention is provided during this state the possibility exist that the affected individual will not function at a level that is considered appropriate or to able to function at the pre crisis state.
These events in one’s life can be additional stressors that must be faced and dealt with. According to Kenel, 2007 this pattern can go for years and leaves the individual exhausted and looses the capacity to deal in a rational manner. Such behavior could result in self-destructive behavior such as committing suicide, murder, or even a psychotic breakdown. As a counselor, to effectively assist the client, the counselor must make use of the ABC Model of Crisis Intervention.
This model provides a useful utline and a guide about crisis and how to deal with them when they occur. Kenel, 2007 states that there are three aspects of crisis which are (1) A precipitating event occur, (2) the perception of the event which leads to a subjective distress, and (3) the usual coping methods fail, leading the individual who is experiencing such event to function psychologically, emotionally, or behaviorally at a lower level than before the crisis. As a counselor assisting a client, a successful crisis intervention worker is one who is an effective listener.
In the case of the death of a child, the intensity of the crisis, the emotional setbacks, the difficulty experienced in adjusting to the reality event can be so severe for the primary victim. The secondary victim who is Mike is experiencing his own crisis as both parents try to fit what transpired in life as they both see fit. As crisis workers there are guidelines and procedures for managing crisis situations with the primary victim must be applied in a way that is significant to others that are affected.
In this case of Sally and Mike an approach to dealing with the issues of the death of their son the process of her grief will be viewed using the stages used by Elizabeth Kubner Ross. According to Ms. Ross there are five stages of grief which includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (Kenel, 2007). These five stages are the frame work that helps us to cope and learn to live without the one we lost. It helps to see the world in a manner we have never seen before and it helps us to adjust to the new world.
It is important as a counselor to be aware of where the client is in the grieving process, work with the client to maximizing the benefits of the intervention establish limit to provide stability, structure and continuity. As the individual grieves, it is important to identify the elements that determine the effects of grief that the individual is experiencing such as the intensity of the emotions experienced, the personal value connected to the loss, the sufferer’s perception of the long term effects created by the loss (Greeston and Leviton 1993 p. 5).
As Sally mourns through the process of grieving , allow her to express and talk about the guilt and other feelings associated with the loss and as a crisis worker we should remain caring, non-judgmental, while assuring her that her feelings are normal. As no times individuals grieve are alike it is important not to forget Mike as his approach to the loss is not the same as Sally and he might be stuck in the denial stage.
For any a crisis stirs up very painful memories and they are required to deal with their feelings that were never resolved or were thought to be resolved. The emotional toll that a crisis leaves on an individual especially when it is a death of a child can be very devastating and the reactions to their feelings can last for years. “At times people in grief will often report more stages just remember your grief is unique as you are” (Ross).