Family Members Essay Example

my parents Laura and Allen. Laura was born on April 13th, 1955 at the Oxford Maternity home in Minaret's in Johannesburg. She is now 58 years old but possesses an energy and mindset that surpasses her age. As a bookkeeper for over 20 years at the same company, she serves as a strong influence in my upbringing. Her loyalty and commitment as a mother are unmatched. She finds exceptional support through her circle of friends and enjoys playing bowls as a hobby. Additionally, she has done an outstanding job instilling morals in me and fostering our appreciation for all aspects of life.

On the other hand, Allen was born on January 26th, 1952 at the Queen Victoria hospital in Johannesburg. He is currently 61 years old and works as a manufacturer of burglar bars. His love for outdoor activities led him to become a master scuba diver; however he plays only a minor role or no role at all in my life due to his lack of desire for children and preference for the bachelor lifestyle.
In addition, my older brother Michael shares our mother's birthday (April 13, 1985) and was born at Parkland clinic on her 30th birthday. He has achieved an honors degree in Financial Planning and is currently 28 years old. Since our parents separated in 1991, both Mike and I have lived with our mother. However, two years ago, his employer Strata relocated him to Switzerland. It has been difficult not having him around as he is an exceptional individual. Despite not being traditional family members, we value the presence of two other cherished individuals in our lives: Diesel, a ginger-haired cat who

we adopted ten years ago when he was just a fluffy kitten; and Elizabeth, our nanny who has acted as a second mother to me since I was two years old. Elizabeth has been with us for so long that I had the honor of being her maid of honor at her wedding five years ago. Our family can be described as "reconstituted," consisting of second marriages and blended families. My father left when I was three years old in 1991 and my parents officially divorced later that same year. Eventually, my father married Lorraine after dating her for thirteen years prior to their marriage. Unfortunately, one of Lorraine's sons lost his life while collecting rent for a building she owns; however, her younger son now resides in Melbourne with his wife and two childrenDuring our visits with our father, Lorraine attempted to impose her opinions and methods on Mike and me, but it was not successful. Despite technically being my stepmother, she does not fulfill the role of a mother figure in my life. The roles and responsibilities within my family are diverse, allowing for adaptability and flexibility when necessary. Even at a young age, I understood the dynamics that still exist today as seen in my childhood drawing of my family.

In the drawing, my mother is depicted as larger than the others to symbolize her dominance within our family. She is also shown holding my hand to represent unity and belonging.

Over the past 28 years, my mother has primarily focused on raising her children. She has provided us with a private education and equipped us with tools to overcome challenges. Currently, she supports

my tertiary education as well. From her, we have always received basic necessities like food, water, clothes, shelter, and education. Furthermore,she would occasionally treat us with luxuries when appropriate.
Regarding this essay's topic on family roles,"role" accurately describes my mother's influence as she has consistently been a role model for me.I aspire to provide my future children with the same blessings that she has bestowed upon me throughout lifeAfter her divorce, she demonstrated exceptional resilience by taking on both maternal and paternal roles, despite economic pressures and time management difficulties. Her strength allowed our family to function relatively normally. Similarly, when my brother reached 18 years old, he assumed his own set of responsibilities but was fortunate enough to have similar opportunities as me until then. However, he soon realized the challenges that came with having a driver's license when I wanted to go out with friends on a Saturday night. Taking advantage of our relationship, my brother became my personal chauffeur and willingly assisted our mother by driving me around, running errands, and occasionally doing the shopping. Additionally, he felt compelled to provide a fatherly figure for me and dutifully took on the responsibilities of being the man of the house. Throughout his academic journey, he remained supportive of both our mother and me. Despite starting university after finishing school, he continued to efficiently assist my mother while pursuing a Bachelor's degree in Commerce with a specialization in finance. He further achieved honors in financial planning as a way of repaying my mother for providing him with opportunities. His accomplishments and bravery served as an inspiration in subsequent years when he successfully entered the coal

industry—a goal he had always aimed for.He received an exciting opportunity to work in Switzerland, fulfilling a desire that many have but not everyone achieves - complete independence and self-reliance. This embodies the essential essence of being an older sibling: a role model for their younger counterpart. We are proud of his achievements, although we deeply miss him. To alleviate Diesel's separation anxiety caused by Michael's departure, we had to use wall-plugged devices that emit a calming agent; Diesel would cry at night due to missing him.

It is worth mentioning that my father was absent from my nursery school picture. Over the years, there have been significant changes in my father's function, role, and responsibilities. During our childhood, he provided monthly financial support to my mother; however, he eventually stopped doing so, leaving her solely responsible for providing for us. Initially, we used to visit him every other weekend and enjoy outings to the zoo and gold reef city; however, these activities gradually turned into weekends focused on household chores and maintaining his house.

Nevertheless, my father consciously chose not to fulfill traditional parental duties or share responsibility for raising me. Despite this absence, it did not lead to a collapse of the system but rather resulted in a redistribution of tasks. Currently, my mother expects me to focus solely on completing my degree.Despite the changes in our family, I always go above and beyond to fulfill additional responsibilities. Now that it's just my mom and me, I help with the errands that Mike used to do to maintain balance and reduce stress for her. Throughout my life, I've strived to be a good daughter and

make things easier for her, especially since she raised both Michael and me on her own. When I asked if my efforts had made her life easier, she chuckled while sipping the coffee I prepared for her, indicating that I had succeeded in fulfilling my responsibility towards her. My mom has a great sense of humor, so if I wasn't meeting my duties, she would have pointed it out or maybe even sent me away. However, during a serious moment, she expressed how much more relaxed she has been since I started helping with household chores and running errands. She emphasized that pursuing education is still my main responsibility towards her. When I obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology, it brought immense joy to her heart. The only task remaining was for me to complete honors in Social Work. This conversation moved her to tears because she knows that once I finish my studies like Mike did before me,I will embark on a journey towards independence.

According to Cladding (2007), healthy family communication involves the exchange of verbal and nonverbal information among family members.In our family, we effectively communicate with each other.Despite my mom being both a parent and my best friend, there are times when she doubts our appreciation for her. My brother serves as my confidant and support system, while I have a strained relationship with my father. However, we still communicate through messages and keep each other updated on our lives. Our trust in each other allows us to have open discussions about important matters. We have a family rule of eating dinner together, which provides a time for us to

connect and discuss our day. Despite the distance, my brother and I communicate daily through messages and at least once a week through phone calls. Similarly, despite the strain in our relationship, my father and I still message each other regularly.

During this assignment, I realized that there is one negative aspect within my family - our failure to communicate the small things that often hold great importance. We often fail to express gratitude towards each other for the things we receive and take them for granted. Therefore, it is important for family members to verbally express their gratitude towards one another (Cladding, 2007). Whenever possible, whether it's before going to sleep or during a phone call with my mom, I make sure to express my love for her. Nonetheless, there is one thing that I don't always express or sometimes never express at all - those two words that become second nature from a young age: "thank you".However, I also discovered a positive aspect within my family that not every family has - the encouragement of individuals at appropriate times. According to Cladding (2007), it is crucial for families to nurture the talents and abilities of each member. In my family, there is a successful lineage of accountants and financial minds. But when I decided to pursue psychology instead, my family initially disapproved and urged me to follow Michael's path in pursuing a finance degree. However, once they realized how determined I was, they offered me their best possible support and encouragement.

It would have been easier if I had received their support right from the start during my transition from high school to university instead

of halfway through my first year. Similarly, Michael had considered becoming a scuba diving instructor as a career choice. However, my father's suggestion to continue the family tradition of finance was also rejected. Despite this, he followed their advice and now diving is his favorite hobby. However, he often wonders about what could have been.

Although my family does provide encouragement, they sometimes prioritize their own beliefs over our passions. Once we made our decisions and started on our separate paths, the support and motivation from our family were crucial for both Michael and me to succeedThe commitment of family members has both positive and negative aspects. In strong families, each member is dedicated to the well-being of the family and the personal growth of individuals (Cladding, 2007). For this assignment, I will focus on my father who hasn't always been present in mine and Michael's lives as much as I wanted since he left my mother when I was three years old. He missed important milestones such as birthdays, starting school, and graduations. As part of the separation agreement, we spent every second weekend with him. This arrangement had advantages and disadvantages - while we still had a father figure in our lives, there were instances when he would leave us alone while going out. Determining whether the negatives were truly negative or if the positives were genuinely positive is a complex task as his presence filled us with false hope that ultimately let us down.

Despite his absence, we learned self-reliance and turned to our older brother, Michael, for support. This brought us closer and diminished our dependence on our father's empty promises. Our bond

with our mother grew stronger as she took on both parental roles. A significant incident occurred when Michael was attacked at a nightclub and hospitalized with a severe concussion - once again, our father was absent. Despite the negative circumstances, this experience taught us that even in hardship, there can be positivity within the family dynamic.
I want to emphasize that being attacked should never be seen as positive. However, despite not having a close relationship with our father, we still found solace in supporting each other. One night, Michael bravely came to my father's rescue when he was attacked while coming home. The terrifying situation prompted him to scale over the wall before the police arrived at my father's house. During his recovery from the attack which caused him to lose his thumb, I provided care by accompanying him to doctor's appointments and feeding him. This incident demonstrated our dedication to family regardless of its internal dynamics.

Thankfully, everyone was able to navigate those situations and now carries the scars of battle, which can lead to some interesting war stories.

To showcase these three examples of negative and positive aspects, it required a lot of self-reflection and discussions within the family. I chose them because they demonstrate how every negative situation also has a positive side. Without certain negatives, the positives wouldn't exist. Moreover, some of the positives that emerged from these negatives have strengthened our unbreakable family bond.

I always strive to find something valuable in every experience and firmly believe that life lessons can be learned from both good and bad events.

When evaluating my family's functionality and dynamics, I acknowledge that we all handle events differently.Despite

facing hardships and experiencing great times that have created unforgettable memories, when evaluating my family's functionality, I refer to Barker's criteria of identity process, change, information processing, and role structuring. Reflecting on these elements discussed in this essay leads me to believe that overall, despite occasional unhealthy aspects, my family functions relatively well. Despite areas where improvement is possible, the core identity, emotions, and expectations within my family remain unchanged. The pursuit of an ideal family is futile as every setting has flaws, even if they are not always visible. Factors like stress can silently affect our well-being. That's why I think therapy could help address these elements and teach us effective management strategies. At the end of a tiring day, both myself and others in the household occasionally feel irritable and say things we don't mean - just like my mother and Michael. Stress is a natural part of life arising from responsibilities, deadlines, and commitments. Some level of stress is necessary for optimal functioning; however, how we handle stress ultimately determines its impact. Therefore seeking therapy would greatly benefit my family by providing us with coping mechanisms for managing stress just like any other family would benefit from it as well.
My mother and I both experience stress in different ways. While I feel stressed while pursuing my degree, my mother feels it when ensuring all bills are paid on time. Stress remains a constant in our lives. Despite this, we find support by seeking guidance and therapy together to effectively navigate our individual challenges. Strengthening our family bond and reducing overall stress levels is crucial. Even though there may be occasional disappointments, holding

onto hope is important for both individuals and families as it serves as motivation to keep going each day.

When asked about the existence of hope for my family, my response would be "I hope there is hope."

To summarize, this essay provides an overview of our family members' ages, roles, and identification. It also discusses the functions, responsibilities, and roles of each member within our family structure. Additionally, it identifies three positive elements and three negative elements present in our family dynamic. Lastly, I share my personal opinion on the health and dynamics of my family.