Placating, Blaming, and Leveling Essay Example
Placating, Blaming, and Leveling Essay Example

Placating, Blaming, and Leveling Essay Example

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Journal Six View In this activity, you will explore assertiveness. This powerful way of being creates great results, strengthens relationships, and builds self-esteem. Write three different responses to the instructor described in the following situation. Respond to the instructor by 1) PLACATING, 2) BLAMING, AND 3) LEVELING. Situation: You register for a course required in your major. It is the last course you need to graduate. When you go to the first class meeting, the instructor tells you that your name is NOT on the roster. You've been shut out of the class.

The instructor tells you that you'll have to postpone graduation and return next semester to complete this required course. Remember, in each of your three responses, you are writing what you would actually say to the instructor--first

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as a placator, second as a blamer, and third as a leveler. Now, think about one of your most challenging academic goals. Decide who could help you with this goal. Write a letter to this person and request assistance. You can decide later if you actually want to send the letter. Here are some possibilities to include in your letter: * Tell the person your most challenging academic goal for this semester. Explain how this goal is a steppingstone to your dream. * Describe your dream and explain its importance to you. * Identify your obstacle, explaining it fully. * Discuss how you believe this person can help you overcome your obstacle. * Admit any reluctance or fear you have about asking for assistance. * Request exactly what you would like this person to do for you and persuade him or her to give you helpfu

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assistance. Remember, for effective requests, use the DAPPS rule. Write about what you have learned or relearned about being assertive. How assertive have you been in the pursuit of your goals and dreams?

How has this choice affected your self-esteem? What changes do you intend to make in communicating (placating, blaming, leveling), making requests, and saying "no"? You may add creativity to your entry by adding color, pictures, video, music, clip art, quotations, etc. Item Journal Seven View In this activity, you will explore self-defeating patterns in your life that may reveal unconscious Scripts. You're about to embark on an exciting journey into your inner world! There you can discover--and later revise--the invisible forces that have gotten you off course from your goals and dreams.

Copy the list of self-defeating habits below and paste it into your journal entry. Put a star next to any patterns of thought, emotion, and behavior that are often true of you. These habits may reveal the presence of outdated Scripts that get you off course. _*__I waste a lot of time doing unimportant things (TV, video games). ___I wonder if I'm "college material. " ___I easily get upset (e. g. , angry, sad, anxious, depressed, guilty, frustrated). ___I hang out with people who don't support my academic goals. _*__I believe that most people don't like me. __I often turn in college assignments late. ___I get nervous around my instructors. _*__I worry excessively about doing things perfectly. ___I think most of my classmates are smarter than I am. ___I quit on things that are important to me. ___I allow a person in my life to treat me badly. ___I don't believe I

deserve success as much as other people do. ___I miss more college classes than I should. _*__I'm very critical of myself. _*__I wait until the last minute to do important college assignments. ___I don't ask questions in class or participate in class discussions. __I often break promises I have made to myself or others. ___I am addicted to something (e. g. , caffeine, alcohol, cigarettes, soda, drugs, shopping, TV). ___I experience severe test anxiety. _*__I feel uncomfortable about asking for help. ___I don't get along with one or more people with whom I live. ___I often side-talk or daydream in my college classes. ___I seldom do my best work on college assignments. _*__I am very critical of other people. ___I get extremely nervous when I speak to a group. _*__I keep promising to study more in college, but I don't. ___I get my feelings hurt easily. *__I am a loner. ___I... (Add any other personal patterns of which you are aware. ) ___I... Write about one of your self-defeating behavior patterns. Choose a behavior pattern that you checked on the list above or identify a self-defeating behavior that isn't on the list but which you do often. Remember to develop your journal paragraphs by anticipating questions that someone reading it might have about this behavior pattern. For example, * What exactly is your self-defeating behavior pattern? One of the self defeating behavior patterns i have is playingg video games. What are some specific examples of when you did this behavior? I play for the most part every day about 4-6hrs evryday * What may have caused this habit? People constantly being disrespectful. * What undesirable

effects has it had on your life? It causes me to be late, leave tasks unfinished, and missing good opprotunities for advancement professionally and personally. * How would your life be improved if you changed it? I would be able to focus and complete tasks and be able to recognize opprotunities when they come along. You may choose to begin in a similar fashion to the following example, One of my self-defeating behaviors is that I seldom do my best work on college assignments. For example, in my biology lab... " Now write about one of your self-defeating thought patterns or one of your self-defeating emotional patterns. You might begin, "One of my self-defeating thought patterns is that I often wonder if I am smart enough to be successful in college. I especially think this during exams. For example, last Thursday I... Or... One of my self-defeating emotional patterns is that I often feel frustrated. For example... " You may add creativity to your entry by adding color, pictures, music, video, clip art, quotations

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