The book "Friend by Day, Enemy by Night" thoroughly investigates the Kohistanis living in Thull, Pakistan.
Lincoln Keiser's book extensively explores the life of the Kohistanis people both before and after mar dushmani, also known as "death enmity." This particular social relationship gives rise to various issues within their community. The principle of death enmity grants men the right to seek revenge when they have been wronged by another man, but their retaliation must not surpass the original wrongdoing. The author illustrates this with an example where a blow should be met with a blow and a death should be met with a death. Retaliation often involves deadly violence in cases such as attacks on men through their wives, sisters, and daughters, which is perceived as an appropriate response. However, it is worth noting that addressing these situation
...s does not solely rely on violence.
The methods for resolving enmity do not always involve seeking revenge. Enemies have the option to peacefully resolve their conflicts through two approaches. One method is for the individual who committed murder to seek peace if they feel threatened and apprehensive about potential harm. However, this action carries risks. The murderer must enter their adversary's guestroom while holding onto their dagger with a white cloth connected to its blade, signifying surrender and a request for compassion.
"If he enters before his enemy kills him, he then must crawl under one of the string beds in the room." He calls out from there, "Kill me! I am at your mercy," says Keiser. The man suing for peace is not asking to be killed, but instead formally requesting that he accept compensation instead of seeking revenge.
If the wronged party refuses to accept the plea he must find a close relative to remove the enemy from his house. The other option the wronged party has it to choose to settle the case peacefully by accepting compensation.
Typically, men provide monetary compensation of approximately $4,000 to $6,000 for murder. On occasion, land or occasionally women in marriage are offered. Acceptance of these compensations usually leads to peace, but there is still some lingering risk. If certain relatives of the victim do not receive any compensation, they may seek revenge and retaliate. This could involve friends or distant relatives who are upset but were not compensated.
These individuals are unable to seek revenge openly. It goes against the community's moral code to take vengeance once a peace offering has been accepted. Prior to the establishment of pre-Islamic organization and dushmani in Thull, women did not isolate themselves. The relationships between men and women were mostly unrestricted and open. Observing someone else's spouse or sibling did not lead to killing another man before dushmani was introduced.
Before the emergence of dushmani, the act of stealing wives was not as prevalent in Thull as it is now. However, it did occur occasionally. In the past, wife stealing was a significant cause of internal political conflict. Fortunately, men could usually resolve such cases peacefully by paying fines and compensation. Kohistani communities today practice purdah, which involves veiling and hiding women from the outside world. As a result, women are restricted from owning animals and guns, holding positions in political life, and are expected to wear black. The influence of Pathan culture and the conversion to Islam have significantly impacted
the patterns of organized vengeance in Kohistan.
The nawabs' influence on Thull's current policies is significant. They implemented policies that fostered discord within the community. According to Keiser, they incentivized blood feud by imposing minimal fines for murder, while encouraging victims to seek revenge instead of accepting compensation. This code of conduct, known as badal or revenge, held great importance in Pakhtunwali, the Pathans' cultural framework. Keiser further explains that religious leaders from Thull visited Mardan and Peshawar to study under renowned Pathan scholars and teachers, resulting in a transformed religious ideology and a different perception of women. These leaders introduced fresh notions of honor and altered perspectives on women upon returning to Thull.
This is ultimately what is credited to triggering the newfound dushmani. They argued against music and dancing, mainly at weddings, and preached the necessity of secluding women to maintain men's self-integrity. This change stripped women of any freedom and power they had. With the rise in wealth in Thull, the number of firearms owned by community members also increased. It is mentioned that even the poorest individuals could purchase and possess a firearm. The wealth in Thull grew as herding declined.
The economic system change in Thull led to the cultivation of potatoes as a cash crop, which, combined with an increased number of fields, significantly boosted the community's cash flow. Additionally, the supply of money further expanded through extensive timber exploitation. Over the past few decades, blood feuding and dushmani have emerged in Thull, primarily as a result of the aforementioned economic change and political modernization.
As an American citizen, I find it difficult to understand how this society operates. This book offers valuable
insights into a culture and society that most Americans are unfamiliar with. The thought of living in such a place is beyond my imagination. Constantly fearing for one's life, especially when the identities of those posing a threat are unknown, must be incredibly frustrating.
Carrying a firearm can be viewed as a rational choice as it ensures personal safety. Furthermore, this book not only offers valuable insight into another culture but also cultivates admiration for my native country.
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