A Story about What Would Happen If I Met a Zombie Essay Example

beater car. We talked about how things went in our separate departments. All in all, things were just fine. However, it was on the drive to our favorite hangout, The Watering Hole, that we noticed that something seemed…off. “

Is there some kind of protest or something going on? ” I asked, peering at the groups of people in the road. I don’t know, but they should keep this kind of stuff on the sidewalks,” Ted said as he leaned out the window, “STOP WALKING DOWN THE ROAD! ” he shouted at a group of slow-moving pedestrians. “Damn tourists. ” He mumbled under his breath. “Whatever, let’s just get to the Hole and have our self a drink. After the week at work we’ve had, I think we earned it buddy. ” “Can’t argue with that logic,” He replied as he swerved around another group of people. We drove by groups of people for the next few moments on our way to the bar. The groups varied in size from just a couple people to some that had about fifteen or more.

We turned the corner and found an open spot. The protesters had not seemed to make it this far yet. We got to the front door of the bar, only to find it locked. “What the hell? " I said, pulling on the door again to make sure it wasn't stuck. “Hey Mike! Open up! " Ted bellowed. The blinds parted slightly, and we saw a pair of eyes dart back and forth. The lock clicked, and the door opened. Mike the bartender grabbed us and pulled us in by our shirts. "Mike, what on

Earth is going on? ” I wondered. Mike quickly slammed the door behind us and clicked the deadlock home.

“Wow. Nothing escapes you two, does it? , his sarcasm was obvious. “What does that mean? ” I asked. He pointed to the muted television in the corner. There was the same news broadcast on from the breakroom but this time the headline under the news anchor read “Widespread Panic”. ”From what I understand some people got sick, I mean really sick. The sickness gave them a crazy high fever and made them go nuts and try to eat people. The more people that got bit, the more got sick, and so on and so on. “So let me get this straight. ” I said, “We unwittingly drove through crowds of flesh eating crazies to come to a bar? ” I turned and looked at Ted.

Ted chuckles, “That sounds like us alright. ” He finished his beer and then his eyes opened wide and he slammed his glass down. “Dude, do you know what this means? ” I shook my head, “What? ” “Ok, the he said there are people infected and eat the flesh of the living, and that those people get infected too, right? “Yeah, so? ” “Does that sound like anything else you know? ” And then I understood. “Holy crap! ” I finished my beer. Then we paid our tab and headed for the door “Where you boys going? ” Mike asked. Ted turned, “You better come with us or block this door after we leave. “Will someone please tell me what the hell he is talking about? ” “We have some zombies

to kill. ” I said. "No, Dave, we have an end of the world party to plan" "What? " "Oh come on! Nobody ever survives this kind of stuff in the movies, so I'm going to throw a sweet party with our friends. " "This isn't a movie! " “I know, but that does not mean that we can’t have some fun. ” “Alright, that settles it for me.

You two are leaving, now! ” Mike demanded as he pushed us out the door. We stumble outside, as the lock clicks behind us. “HEY! What the hell, man! ” Ted shouted as he pounded on the door. “Um, Ted” Whats your problem Mike?! ” “Ted” “Let us back in you asshole! ” “Ted! ” “WHAT? ” I pointed to the crowd of zombies, slowly closing in on us. Their pale flesh appeared clammy and oddly loose on their bones. Eyes, so bloodshot, that the only part that was not red was the pupil. They stumbled and shambled towards our direction, moaning. “Oh crap! ” he yells as he lands a kick to one of the zombies stomachs. We began to run to the car, which was luckily parked only thirty feet away. We shoved and punched four or five zombies on the way there. We were running on adrenaline and made it to the car in ten seconds flat.

Getting the car started was no problem, backing over some zombies was a little more difficult and probably not the best for the suspension on the little sedan. “Oh man, oh man, oh man. What are we going to do! ” “Just calm down and stop freaking out

Dave. ” “Stop freaking out?! Stop freaking out?! Are you kidding me? There’s like hundreds of zombies infesting the town, out to eat us, and I’m supposed to be calm. ” “You have watched as many zombie movies as I have, I figured you would know what to do in case this happened. ” “What! I never expected this to actually happen! ” “It’s OK dude, reach into the back seat.

I reached into the back seat and pulled out an aluminum little league baseball bat. “Your little league bat from like ten years ago? ” “Yeah, I originally put it in here in case someone tried to carjack me. ” He swerved around a cluster of the undead. “Carjack you? ” “Yeah. ” “Carjack your ‘94 Honda? ” “Whatever, now it’s a zombie bashing bat. Oh man, hang on! ” THUMP! A zombie went flying over the car. “Whoa! Take it easy man, this car isn’t an SUV. ” “Yeah, I know. ” he said dejected. “So wait, do you have a plan, or are we going for a joyride while the world becomes overrun with zombies? “Oh, I have a plan alright. But unfortunately for you it’s on a need to know basis.

Your little freak out got you demoted to ‘Does not need to know status’. ” “You’re a jerk. ” “But you still love me. ” We dodged and swerved around the zombies for a few blocks before we arrived at our friend Eric’s house. “Alright I’ll hold them off while you get Eric to the car” said Ted as he jumped out swinging the bat. I ran for the front door, regretting

not going with Ted and Eric when they would go out running or to the gym. “Eric open up! ”, I puffed. “One minute. ” Jim called out. Can you hurry up? ” “Just wait a second man, I’m on the toilet. ” “Hey, whats the hold up? ” Ted yelled, while hitting a zombie with a 'THUNK’.

“He’s on the john. ” “Are you serious? ” ‘THUNK’ “This isn’t as easy as it looks” 'THUNK’ “Can you tell him to hurry up and get his ass in the car. ” ‘THUNK’ I pounded on the door “Dude you got to hurry up! Oh and grab the samurai sword off your wall you’re going to need it! ” “It’s called a katana, jeez get it right. ” Eric called out from inside his house. “Whatever dude, just hurry up” “OK, OK, just let me finish up. ” “I can’t believe this. , I mumbled to myself, “Ted how are we doing? ” “Uh we could be doing better. " ‘THUNK’ “My arms are getting a little tired. ” ‘THUNK’ “OK, hold on, let me find something to help you with. ” I opened the gate and ran into the backyard, searching for something I could use as a weapon.

Lawnmower? Nope. Grill? Na. Lawn chair? No way. What could I use? Think, think, think. Thats when I spotted the shovel by the garage. Bingo. I grabbed it and ran back around front, to see Ted on top of the car surrounded by about thirty zombies. “Uh oh. ” “Where have you been?! ” Ted bellowed. ‘THUNK’ Consider ourself lucky that this was sitting out. ” I replied

taking down a zombie with a ‘CLANK’. “Even as it is, it’s going to be tough for us to leave. ” ‘THUNK’ “Well, Mr. man-with-the-plan, any bright ideas? ” ‘CLANK’ “Not at the moment, I’m a little busy right now! ” ‘THUNK’ “Well you better think of something quick. ” ‘SWISH’ We both turned to see the source of the sound. We witnessed a zombie hit the ground in two pieces. Standing behind it was Jim with his katana. “Sorry guys, I deviated from my diet and had some tacos last night, they didn’t agree with me. ” ‘SWISH’ down went two more zombie halves.

The reason Eric was on a diet, was because he was one of those fitness nuts who was always on a diet. He worked as a personal trainer for a local gym and tried to act as my daily personal reminder to go and work out. I often ignored him and now I wish I hadn’t. Between the three of us we were able to hold them back long enough to get inside the car. Ted got it started, and we plowed our way out of there. “So what have you guys been up to? ” “Eric, are you kidding me? We just fought a horde of zombies to come and pick you up, and you ask us what we’ve been up to lately? I can’t believe you. ”

Oh, we were at work and went to the bar, found out there were zombies, then I decided to throw an ‘end of the world party’, and we came to get you. How about you, anything new? ” Ted replied. “No, I just

woke up about five minutes before you came over, went to the bathroom and took a shower. ” “You were in there taking a shower! ” I exclaimed. “Yeah, I was smelly from working out yesterday. ” He clapped his hand and rubbed them together, “So gents, what’s the plan? ” “As far as I know we are throwing some sort of party, but I’m on ‘does not need to know status’, so I don’t get told much. ” The plan is to pick up one more guest, and then our party can begin. I have a spot picked out and everything. ” Ted explained. “Hold on a second, I know this street. Are we going to get who I think we are? ” “Yes, we are. ” He said with a smile. We rounded the corner to see the street littered with at least seventy five to one hundred zombies all laying dead. “What on earth? ” I asked in bewilderment. “Didn’t you know, Jim has a bunch of guns, he goes hunting all of the time. ” Ted parked the car and hopped out to waved at something. I looked and saw someone sitting on the roof of a house in a lawn chair, holding a rifle, waving back at us.

Jim was one of those guys who would disappear for a couple weeks in November to go hunting. I was always under the assumption he caught a bad case of the flu or something. “I was wondering when you would be coming by. ” Jim called out to us. “Had to stop and pick up the rest of the group. ” Ted replied

“Hey Dave, hey Eric, how you guys holding up? ” “Pretty good considering, but I think that Dave need to relax some. ” “Relax? As far as we know, everyone on the planet is becoming a flesh eating zombie and I’m supposed to relax? ” “Never mind him, our party will calm him down.

Grab the stuff we need and we will meet you in your garage. ” “Oh good, I was hoping that we would be taking my Suburban, all of my guns won’t fit in your car. ” We made our way across the street to the garage, careful not to step in the splattered mess laying about the yard and street. In there, we met up with Jim as he was putting some of his guns into the back of his SUV. “Alright guys, just remember that we don’t have unlimited ammo, so make every shot count. If it becomes more of a close-quarters fight, use your bat or what ever you have. ” “Dibs on the shotgun! ” Ted yells. Aw man, I wanted the shotgun. ” “Eric you already have a sweet sword, why would you get the shotgun too? ” “Here, let me: a rifle for Eric, an shotgun for Ted, and a handgun for Dave. Oh I kinda feel like Santa Claus. ” Jim said while passing out the weapons.

“Wait a second, why do I get a handgun? ” “Because your jumpy, and we don’t need you shooting off the bigger shells, we have less of those. ” “Alright, I’ll agree to that, but can I at least have two of them, so I feel cool? ” I asked.

“Sure, you go right ahead. ” Jim replied, like he was talking to a whiny child .

We all piled into the SUV, Jim at the helm. “So Ted, where are we headed? ” “Downtown please, Mr. Chauffeur. ” “Whoa, why are we going downtown, where there are a bunches of zombies? ” “Because all the restaurants are there and if we are setting up camp, I want easy access to food and drink. ” “Oh, right. That makes sense, I guess. ” So we headed downtown, dodging some zombies and ramming others. I started to feel more safe now that we had a sort of posse to defend each other. We even made a little game out of it. Using the bat and shovel, we would hit those undead creeps as we were driving by.

Eric kept score. “Wait! We need to stop here. ” Ted called out. “A convenience store? ” Jim asked “Yeah, We need some important items from here. ” He said, getting out of the SUV. “Wait! you left your gun and bat in here! ” I called out. “I know, I’ll need both hands free. ” He ran for the front door of the store and darted inside. I could not see much of what was happening, but according to him there were only 4 zombies inside the store. One he drop-kicked, another one he hit with a slushy machine, the third he was somehow able to subdue with a frozen pizza ( I’m not sure how he did that one. , and the fourth he used a frozen gallon of ice cream to incapacitate the zombie.

When he came out he

had a big grin on his face and two thirty packs of beer in each hand. “OH YEAH! ” he yelled He put the beer in the back and then he hopped in the SUV, and we rolled out of there. “OK. You know we could have helped you. ” Jim said. “Yeah, I just wanted to see if I could do it myself. ” So having gotten our “supplies” we made our way downtown. I leaned over to look out the window and took in the horrible sight. As congested as it was earlier, now it was overrun.

Hearing the SUV come to a halt many zombies turned towards the sound and started shambling our direction. “Oh, I hope you have an idea Captain Invincible. ” I remarked. We all turned to see Ted deep in thought. He was looking worried for the first time in a long time, longer than I can remember. He was always the one who knew what to do. To see him not sure of himself was kind of demoralizing for the entire group. “I’m working on it. ” Ted answered. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally someone decided that action needed to be taken. “Jim, your Suburban has a brush guard doesn’t it? I queried. “Yeah, why? ” “Well, we’re going to see how well built it is. Now everyone, lock and load! ”

The sound of weapons clicking filled the vehicle. Jim pressed some buttons, and the windows were down. “PUNCH IT! ” We smashed headlong into the horde of zombies, whose arms were outstretched trying to reach us. Anytime they grabbed hold of

the SUV we were quick to dispense some hot lead their way. We made our way to the tallest building available downtown, the courthouse. We were able to pull the vehicle right up to the door. We ran like mad for the entrance and quickly found the stairwell. Wait! ” Ted called out. “What? ” Jim asked. “We forgot the beer, toss me the keys! ” “Why would I have them? I left them in the car. Who is going to steal it? ” “Crap! Can I get some cover? ” We all look at each other and come to the same conclusion without speaking a word. We all gave Ted some cover fire. He ran to the back of the SUV, shoved two zombies into each other, opened the door and grabbed the cases of beer. He bolted back inside the building as we pushed the door closed. Many zombies pushed and scratched at the glass doors. “Do Something! ” I bellowed.

Ted set the beers down and grabbed a post to one of those rope devices to make people stay in a single line, and wedged it into the door. We grabbed the beer and made out way to the top of the building. But encountered an unexpected problem. When we reached the roof access door we found it locked. “Great what now? ” Eric complained “Well I haven’t come all this way to not have a party” I declared. I grabbed the shotgun from Ted and blasted the door and kicked it open. “There, problem solved. ” “Dude, give me a high five, ‘cause that was bad-ass! ” Ted held up his palm,

which I slapped with my own palm.

We found a length of chain which we locked the door with. We then proceeded to party. We sat and reminisced about how boring things were before z-day (thats what we decided to call it). We played some drinking games, such as whoever could hit one of the zombies with a brick had to take a drink and try to do it again. A good time was had by all. By the time we regained consciousness in the morning we all had massive headaches, and we were desperately searching for sunglasses. “Oh man, I have never been this hungover before. ” I said. “So Ted you had your party, what now? ” Jim asked. Ted smirked, “I think we should go visit a brewery. ”