Divorce and the Effects on Children Essay Example

as well. As the children get older the effects the divorce has on them is different but no less traumatizing.

School age children between the ages of six to eight seem to have an especially difficult time dealing with their parents splitting up.

Generally, the boys in this age group tend to be more bothered than the girls. Sadness is the primary reaction of the children in this age roup. There will be more out bursts of crying, and these children are prone to feeling that the departing parent is rejecting them. Many children of this age group try to reconcile the marriage and spend more time worrying about the family than anything g else.

Often their performance in schools drops considerably due to the worrying and the lowered self-esteem, which is caused by the feelings of rejection. Younger children have strong feelings of sadness where as, older school-aged Many boys in this age group become rebellious and uncontrollable. Also, it is not uncommon for them to reject visits from the out-of-home parent. Many times during divorce these children will take sides and be put in the middle of destructive battles. In addition to feeling angry, many of the children appear sad and even lonely.

Feeling helpless is another factor that affects these children, often times they feel like they have no control over their own lives. Fueled by anger and feelings of powerless, about half of the students in this age group show some type of decline in their schoolwork. Often, these children will also experience physical effects as well as the emotional effects. Headaches and stomachaches will be common occurrences and any of these

children will begin having a hard time getting along with their friends.

There are considerably stronger gender differences in the school age children than the preschool and younger children. Boys are more problematic than girls at this age and are this is due in part because- ninety percent of children live with their mothers after a divorce.

This is a loss of same-sex parental figure for boys and, many out of home fathers do not assume an active roll in parenting. Problems for daughters tend to emerge in adolescence when they begin dating and exploring relationships. Adolescence is the beginning of one's independence.

On one hand, these young people can be very helpful in these times of trouble by helping with the household responsibilities and providing stable relationships with their younger siblings. Heightened levels of maturity often stem from helping the family deal with the newly formed crisis.

Generally, teenagers will cope with the divorce by distancing themselves from the problem and focusing merely on their own fate and futures. On the other hand, the initial feelings are of betrayal will cause some adolescents to engage in premature sexual relationships, become depressed, and even lose track of their goals for the future.

Like the older school aged children, many of these children will be encouraged to take sides and take active rolls in parental conflicts. Adolescence is the age that is the most detrimental to girls.

They often experience and emotional loss of their father and many of them perceive it as rejection. Without regular attention from a man who is caring and loving a girl's sense of femininity does not seem to thrive. (4) However, the main

concern for the most adolescents is themselves and, how this going to affect their chance to go to college and their ability to have a good marriage in the future.

The first two years after the separation seem o be the hardest, but many times there can be factors that affect the rest of one's life. The long-term effects of divorce tend to be more adverse than the short-term effects.

There are several causes for the long-term effects but, children are more likely to develop them if they are exposed to all or some of the following scenarios; continuous parental fighting, the loss of contact with a parent following the divorce, little or no discipline, and being forced to takes sides against one parent or the other.

Many studies show that children of divorce experience a heighten level of marital conflict. Another long-term problem that may affect children of divorce is the loyalty and trust issues that often follow them into their own relationships. Even as adults, men tend to have a hard time dealing with the effects of divorce; they often tend to them. Many females from single parent families have tendencies to have children out of wedlock and generally have a negative opinion of their personal relationships.

Aside from relationship issues, children of divorced parents often have significant differences after high school education and career choices than children of intact families.

Divorce does not have to induce long term problems. The quality of support that you give to your child during a divorce will determine how well the children will react to the divorce and the consequences. It is not the divorce that causes the

problems; it is the way that the parents react to the present situation.

In some cases divorce can be better for everyone, including the children. Many times when there is an abusive spouse involved divorce is not only the best answer it is the only answer.