The personal appraisal of individual worth, known as self-esteem, commonly explains the differences in personalities between siblings.
Psychological studies have looked into the reasons for differences in personality based on self-esteem. One reason that has emerged is birth order, as siblings of different birth orders experience different family dynamics. The middle-born child, situated between the oldest and youngest, has unique family experiences that will be discussed in detail.
The theoretical background of self-esteem is explained by the social learning theory, which suggests that the quality of learning during childhood, particularly in relation to rewards and punishments, influences the development of self-esteem (Nietzel, Berstein, & Milich, 1998). Applied to parental favoritism, the rewards and punishments received by children of different birth orders under similar circumstances can impact their self-esteem. If a sibling receives more punishments than rewards,
...they may tend to exhibit negative behavior more frequently. Conversely, a child who is rewarded with attention is likely to display the rewarded behavior more often.
The self-esteem of children is significantly impacted by the distribution of parental attention among siblings. This influence is connected to the reward and punishment system and relates to the concept of self-efficacy. Self-efficacy refers to an individual's belief in their ability to achieve goals and affect others or situations, affecting emotions, thoughts, motivation, and behavior. When parents provide more positive attention to a child, it can enhance their levels of self-efficacy and improve their self-esteem.
According to symbolic interaction theory, how children perceive their own worth is influenced by how parents view them as individuals. This perception develops through interactions between parents and children. Supportive actions from parents such as approval, nurturing, warmth, and positive reinforcement play
a significant role in shaping how children perceive their own value. Parental supportiveness plays a critical role in strengthening a child's belief in their inherent worth.
According to Adler's birth order theory (1979), differences in parental support among siblings can impact their self-esteem. Less support may result in lower self-esteem while more support can lead to higher self-esteem. The theory also suggests that a child's position within the family shapes their attitudes and behaviors, influencing their self-esteem.
The first-born child often assumes leadership roles and parenting responsibilities like babysitting younger siblings. Middle-born children frequently act as mediators between older and younger siblings (Kidwell, 1982). Last-born children typically exhibit greater dependence on parents based on empirical evidence.
Research has found a connection between birth order and self-esteem, indicating that middle-born children develop self-esteem through unique experiences within the family structure. Adler (1956) asserts that middle-born children have to share parental attention from birth compared to first-borns who receive exclusive attention but less than last-borns who benefit from more parental protection. Consequently, middle-born children may perceive their first-born sibling as being favored, especially when given parental responsibility and authority.
The middle child believes that the parents favor the youngest child. They face more situations that could lower their self-esteem compared to the first and youngest child. The middle child never receives exclusive attention, while the youngest child also lacks exclusivity but receives additional care and protection as compensation for not being an only child. Moreover, the middle child perceives the extra attention given to the youngest as unfavorable treatment that goes against them.
Middle-born children may experience lower self-esteem as a result of their position in the family. However, this potential
cause is outweighed by the fact that first-born children receive exclusive parental attention and are entrusted with responsibilities. Toman's (1976) study suggests that birth order influences the self-esteem of middle-born children through parental favoritism. The study indicates that parents have higher expectations for older siblings to be role models for their younger siblings. Consequently, they have less tolerance for lack of discipline from older siblings compared to younger ones. As a result, first-borns are given more responsibility and favoritism than middle-borns, potentially leading to lower self-esteem in middle-born children who may feel less important due to receiving less trust and responsibility within the family.
This feeling hinders the development of self-worth in middle-born children as it influences their beliefs, attitudes, and behavior due to a lack of parental reinforcement. As a result, they frequently doubt their own value, resulting in lower self-esteem and a lack of assertiveness or feelings of insecurity. A study by Kidwell (1982) confirmed previous research findings and discovered that middle-born children hold distinct perspectives on their individual and familial roles.
Middle-born children often feel deprived of parental attention and support as they must share it with their siblings, resulting in lower self-esteem and an unstable sense of identity. According to both theoretical and empirical evidence, being a middle-born child has a significant impact on one's self-esteem because the way parents treat them influences their perception of their own value. Studies indicate that middle-born children are more likely to have diminished self-esteem due to receiving less attention or being less trusted compared to their siblings. Therefore, it is crucial for parents to consciously nurture their children's sense of self-worth and minimize any avoidable unequal
treatment, regardless of birth order, to ensure the well-being of all their children.
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