It is through the understanding of other people and our relationships with them that we come to understand ourselves and our lives. The journey for self-knowledge is long and sophisticated but can be achieved through the understanding of others and the relationships they hold. Relationships can have varying imapcts on people. Some relationships create the person, some changes the person and some help find true independence. These relationships may influence them physically, emotionally or mentally. It is through these influences, which can be positive or negative, that a person becomes who they are.
The novel, Tirra Lirra by the River, the film, Good Will Hunting and the poem, Daddy by Sylvia Plath all demonstrate the idea of self discovery through the relationships the protagonist hold with others. We see the significance of familial relationships in building a person’s identity and thus understanding the
...mselves. Tirra Lirra by the River is a fictional autobiography of Nora, who begins to explore her past through her disheveled memories. Each memory of her relationship she unravels contributes to a greater understanding of herself.
The author clearly presents the importance of understanding relationship with family in order to achieve self acceptance. The film, Good Will Hunting, follows the change of the character, Will, a mathematic genius, through the development of his father-son relationship with his therapist. This film depicts the positive nature of mentor relationship and the importance of the idea of family in forming one’s identity and individuality. The poem, Daddy by Sylvia Plath, expresses her strong, emotional feeling towards the death of her father.
This poem emphasises the significance of understanding familial relationship in gaining independence. The key to Nora’s understanding of
herself was the globe of memory suspended in her mind. In this globe of memory is a dark side, which Nora has dared not to recover. All the memories that she kept suppressed here led her to be trapped between an imbalance of imagination and reality. However, Nora’s relationship with Colin, Bomera group and her family and her reflection upon this later allows Nora to separate her imagined self with her real self until she achieves self discovery.
Throughout the novel, Nora presents herself as a woman she assumes she is supposed to be as she found it easier to be what was expected of her than try to explain herself. She has done this her whole life until she comprehends the foundation of her past and realises that her mask was unnecessary. The same idea is portrayed by Will in Good Will Hunting. Like Nora, Will had problems in forming trusting relationships due to his traumatic past. He suppressed these memories by creating a mask when facing other people, refusing to accept who he was because the pain was too much to handle.
The final stages of the novel demonstrate Nora’s self discovery as a direct result of understanding her past and her family as well as accepting her relationship with them. The film, Good Will Hunting, places significance on the concept of family in understanding oneself. This is different to Nora’s experience as her discovery resulted from a direct family relationship, whereas Will’s results from a combination of his past memories of his foster parents and the father-son relationship he later develops with his therapist.
For Will, who grew up as an orphan, moving from foster
home to foster home and experiencing child abuse, his rude and almost emotionless attitude towards others is a sort of defence mechanism which he uses to hide his pain from his traumatic past. The negative relationship he had with his foster parents when he was young continued to reflect on his relationship with others as he grew up. This demonstrates the importance of familial relationship during childhood in creating a person’s identity.
As Will grows up believing it was his entire fault, he becomes to detest and hide himself. It’s when he meets Sean, his therapist that Will starts to change and gradually exposes his true self. They develop a father-son relationship where Sean becomes a father Will has never had and Will becomes a son Sean has never had. Their mutual understanding of each other helps not only Will but Sean, who has lost his beloved wife, in gaining a better understanding of themselves.
Sean influences Will both positively and mentally which helps him find his true identity. This shows the importance of positive mentor relationship in finding one’s self. In the poem, Daddy, Sylvia Plath illustrates her feelings of anger and resentment towards her father and husband along with being oppressed most of her life because of them. This poem demonstrates the negative influence of Plath’s relationship with her father and husband. However, this was placed upon her by herself not her father or husband but they are blamed for it.
Plath describes how her father still haunts her long after his death and how her life was being drained away because of her marriage. She carries this pain throughout adulthood, feeling oppressed by these emotions.
By exploring the complex feelings that resulted from the death of her father, Plath illustrates how she gains power over her memories, reaching freedom and independence. Similarly, in Tirra Lirra by the River, the realization that her father’s death was the catalyst for the dark side of her globe allows Nora to resolve the conflict between her real world and her shadow world.
Nora and Plath both show a deep attachment to their fathers that it caused them so much pain, which was reflected on their personality and character. As they confront the most traumatic moment in their lives, they finally reach freedom and a better understanding of themselves. The various texts, Tirra Lirra by the River, Good Will Hunting and Daddy clearly portray self realization as a direct consequence of understanding others and the relationship with them.
As the characters dig deeper into their past and minds, trying to explore their complex emotions, the help of their relationships with other people was essential in finding their true identity and independence. In other words, interactions with other people contribute largely in forming the individual as well as define them. It is important to note the significant role of familial relationship, which may positive or negative, in influencing one in how they perceive their true self to be.
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