Four Loves The love of affection is a term that I feel I have had in my life and was easily portrayed as a need. My parents are the people in who brought me into this world. They have shown me their ways of becoming a person- by me making my own decisions, and most importantly having a walk with Christ. They may have been a pain to me through discipline, but they always have shown me their love through affection. I feel like my parents have made many mistakes in my early childhood years and those are things that have shaped not only them, but also me.
Those critical times were my learning experiences of what was a positive or negative action from just being the observer. I sometimes have a tough time loving them for th
...ose actions, but I know that I should love them when they are wrong just as they do me. As parents, they owe me trust for my future and that I will make the right decisions from what they have taught me. I owe my parents respect and obedience to what they have to say about the choices I make. I don’t see my parents having any problems with worries or doubts, because I have always been good about choosing what God would want for my life.
Friendships are non-given gift and only happen if you make it happen. When finding a friend you look for the qualities in a person that you would enjoy spending time with. There can also be a search for similar goals or activities the two people can share. If there is someone who meet
those categories and is a person who has a trusting personality they would be someone who would be a friend to me. This friend would also be someone who stands beside me during the good times and the bad. They also would be an individual who can accept the person I have become to be.
When I think about friendship being “about something”, I think about having a companion with the same sex. This person is someone who I can relate to and share frustrations with and who will understand my perspective. My life is about fulfilling the purpose Christ has for me in my walk with him on earth. When having these friendships they are there to help me to make meaningful decisions along the way. I want my friendship to be a close relation, but not before God himself. During my high school career I was able to make lots of friendships, but had few close friendships.
I was unable to have a large amount of girlfriends, because I did not feel a good connection with them. Instead, I hung out with a group of guys and had two girlfriends who had similar life stories. When I was sixteen I started working and that was something I enjoyed doing to make money. Once high school was over I felt like I had so much to look forward to. When college came around I didn’t see the same people every day and had to make new friends here at Anderson. This was challenging for me, because the dorms are full of females which was something that I have not been used to.
My parents have had several
friends that I can recall during my childhood. Each of them had some who were called acquaintances, and others close friends. The close friendships were people who were there when my parents needed support or just a moment to vent. They would be at your door step during any time of day. I learned to appreciate the people who had good hearts and cared about my family the most. They have always been a part of my years growing up and are still keeping in touch while I am starting my own life. Friendships don’t seem to be something that would cost me anything.
I feel like I can rely on them and know that they are there when I need them the most. The love of euros is being in love with a companion. Sexuality relates to this by two people who are hopefully married and who love each other are able to connect in a more physical way. A quote from Lewis in the “Four Loves” states, “All my life a ludicrous and portentous solemnization of sex has been going on. ” This statement made me really think about how true this is in our world. Not just the young; even the old made decisions to do activities outside the marriage of another.
It seems like they want to find someone to fill their emptiness and it may only last for a minute. In the end the desire to have someone is still there and they have just added more guilt to their lives. Another quote from Lewis says, “In euros at times we seem to be flying; Venus gives us the sudden twitch that
reminds us we are really captive balloons. ” This quote really struck me and was something I have seen for myself in past relationships. It becomes so easy to let our hearts go and enjoy the opportunity to be loved by the opposite sex. The feelings take over our hearts and minds.
Next we allow the love for someone else to take over and push God aside. Once Venus tempts us we realize that our decisions we make matter and coming back to reality God is the only person to fill our hearts or desires. This can also relate to giving the key to my heart to someone and later on my heart can be ripped apart. This leaves me broken and unable to understand the lesson God wants me to learn. My thoughts for euros, is not putting yourself in a bad situation and allowing your heart to be broken. By doing this you are pleasing God and when the time comes for marriage you can share important things with your spouse.
I do not agree with premarital sex because so many people take it for granted. The world advertises sinful activities to the young and makes those activities seem O. K. God wants us to enjoy our time on earth, but not by being impure to ourselves or others. I have these feelings because God states that we should be married before sex. I also have seen love ones get hurt by simple mistakes in an unmarried relationship. Love in charity seems like a garden by love being a beautiful thing to have, but (ex. flowers) love can be killed by the choices we make.
When a child thinks of a wedding it must be a perfect experience.
You have the dress, the flowers, the perfect prince, and this seems to be the fairy tale wedding. While we are growing up those “wants” never change, but we become open to letting our hearts attach more than we should to another person. When the day of the wedding comes those past relationships are still a part of the future. An example is thinking of the boys I have dated who have a piece of my heart sitting in the front row of the church. I no longer have the opportunity to take those feelings back or to give all my heart to my future husband. The sense of hating your mother and father is not specifically having a grudge against them.
God is saying that we shouldn’t put them on the throne of God, but they should be behind and still loved/respected. As Children of God we should love him. We should do this because he sent his son to die for our sins, so that one day we can live with eternal life in heaven. It also means that we should live every day earth as a servant or follower of his. We need to spread the good news of our savior and be faithful in our walk with Christ. My observations of the words Lewis has written did challenge my beliefs. I wouldn’t say that I don’t agree, but it is more a realization to work more on those beliefs to become stronger in my faith.
I am able to push myself to strive for higher goals and like the knowledge of
having rewards in the new life with Christ. I now see that “gift love” and “need love” become two separate things. They can be used lightly, but have more meaning on their own levels. Need love is our relationship with Christ, and an example of gift love is a mother bonding with her child. I enjoyed reading this book the “Four Loves,” and this allowed my thoughts to go deeper into the different aspects of love. Before reading this book I did not know that there were so many examples of love.
My favorite chapter was friendship, because it showed me how the same sexes are able to have a connection with each other. This connection is not put negatively, but positively with understanding each other and having someone to be close with. While going through the four loves I now comprehend that they all mean different things. By incorporating some of the ideas I perused in the chapter, I was also able to grow closer with God and have a clear understanding of the plans he has for my life in the future.
Work cited
- Lewis, C. S. The Four Loves. New York: Harcourt. 1960.
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