Children Upbringing Essay Example

others based on the interaction they receive at home.

With that interaction along with other factors, single parent upbringing can affect the things decisions a child make when matured. As a child begins to develop, different parenting styles play a role when building a good relationship, effect the type of influence. According to Bill Muehlenberg(2006), “Children who grow up in households with only one biological parent are worse off, on average, than children who grow up in a household with both biological parents, regardless of the parent’s race or educational background” (p 58).

Single-parent homes often live less well economically, educationally, and emotionally, and “encounter more difficulties on the road to becoming self-sustaining adults” (Ming Ming Chiu & Esther Sui Chu Ho, 2006 p 27). The style of parenting and interactions with children fall into three different types. The first type is permissive parent; which give too much freedom, without limits, and enough guidelines for the child to understand socially established norms. The person thoughts and reaction revolve around the interest of their friends and peers; the problem some parents is the tendency of trying to be a friend.

The definition of a mother is a woman who conceives, gives birth, and raises a child. A father is the authority figure in a child’s life, has the responsibilities of raising the child as well. It is recommended to hold good communication with the child but it’s also another asking what discipline actions they should have. Authoritarian parenting are more demanding, strict, and do not have the freedom to express different opinions. Single parents have difficulty with their child when having an authority role, separate right from wrong.

Faith comes

by hearing, when a child hears things; it tends to move in them a sense of knowing something, handling later. When a parent reference their child to someone else, the child listens to that and for some creates a bit of anger, distress towards how they see that person. A child who gives their parents attitude, or curse at them shows a sign of disrespect towards the parent, because that’s not the tone they should be speaking. But some of the times, the reason they do that is because they may have seen a male figure say the same thing, get results or noticing how their friend talk to their parent.

They will create an influence to the child negatively because they learn so much from each other, they pick up on habits. Children have to know how to separate the social awareness of the type of crowd they can fit in. In each school there are the cliques, fringe, loners, and circles of friendship, all of which affect a child during the times of teen life. The Cliques, which are the most popular groups, are usually the athletes, beautiful, affluent young men and women that make up about 25% of the population.

They have the most friends; socialize with others than most kids because of their image, which draws the attention to other classmates and teachers as well. The parenting for the teens that are in Cliques, treat them differently than most children. They give them more freedom to go out with friends, but also set standards enough for them to educate themselves and learn how to use their knowledge rather than talents, or gifts. IF

they are using their talent, use it in a good, responsible way because some kids take their talents and have a tendency to be over confident, arrogant.

Which will cause conflict in the household because if though the parent is working to pay the bills; the child has so much social interaction they begin to feel they are more important, turn it on their parent(s). The fringes are the ones who hang around the cliques but are not part of the clique. It could a friend they grow up with, but do not participate in sports or lack the popularity that other popular kids receive. They participate in certain conversations, activities that the popular kids allow them, too; they like it because they feel they are with the “in crowd”, it’s worth spending that time rather than wasting it as a loner.

Even though they are around the Cliques, they are still loners because they depend so much on the popular kids; they can have true friends on their own. Fringes tend lack the self confidence, need the popularity of the Cliques to help them feel needed; which could be evidence to the type of attention they receive at home. Now the loners are the ones who have no friends; they usually eat lunch in the library or by themselves. They watch and envy the other groups just based on how they socialize with folks, are not too attracting to other people in school.

Some of which, may have to do with what is happening at home; majority of kids who grew up in a neighborhood with a short number of kids their age to play with, no

siblings, have a tendency to fall in this category because their social skills wasn’t develop as quick as the others. Like I stated before, children absorb their social skills from their peers more than parents, it will help them be a part of a group that have the same interest. The friendship circle is nearly half of the student at the school, they are the kids who have something in common but are not necessarily in the “in-crowd”.

Some to name a few are called, skateboarders, Gothic’s, Nerds, thugs, and etc. Those groups have their own friends, who they can interact with and some are not too concerned with the popular students. Some of the groups, dancers for example, have their own popularity based on they can do. Majority of the popularity in these groups come from their talents, ability to interact with other students at the school. Like I stated before that in single parenting homes, children are a bit less spoiled than a child in a two parent home.

Because of the income that one parent makes versus what two parents make; a rich parent would be nice, but two rich parents are even better. In which the way they are spoiled, affects their maturity and growth in the later years, because a child that is spoiled expects so much, that when they are on their own it’s rather difficult for them to cope with their wants and needs. But at the same time, a humbling upbringing makes it easier for them to relate and talk to their peers based on the positive attitude they have towards life, it is appreciate when they are around

friends.

There are different effects into single parenting, social bonds, the community, responsibilities given to the parent and child, responsibilities, handling situations. One of the challenging issues facing single parenting is the maturity of the parent. Single parents take care of their kids, homes, work, financial situation, house, and etc. Some single parents have not prepared themselves with that responsibility and time of taking care of another person, which no one are but there are ways to overcome that.

With both parents being there, the time and responsibility is shared towards the child, which makes it easier for the child to understand the concepts of man and woman. There has been a debate to where same sex parents and the effects it has on a child. The affects will differ in ways where the child will be less understanding to the role society makes for a man and woman; such as who pays the bills, who works these type of jobs, etc. Even though we are in the age where women are becoming firefighters, men are nurses, but the home security a man has is greater than a woman.

Single parents have a tendency of lingering on to other men to help, become a step father but she will have to be careful with who she chooses to be around her child. A woman’s attitude is understandable, but lacks the understanding of the importance of herself and the care of a child as well. When a young woman comes to that age of living on their own, they are worried about themselves, they have to buy this, do that for the house, have time to themselves. For all

young adults, they take responsibilities for them only; having a child will mean their time will be shared.

If someone has not had the time to be by themselves for a period of time to discover who they are, they will find it more stressful to be parent because their time must be shared with the child. Young adults who become parents has to grow up quicker because during that time, they are concerned about themselves and their time; when it comes to being a parent, they become stressed and feel that they do not have enough time. Spending quality one-on-one time with your child allows you to develop a unique bond that may actually be stronger than it would have been if you were not a single parent.

With both parents being there for the child, certain situations cause for one parent to act differently than the other. Such as if a child were to be in trouble in school for something, the mother would lay down her punishment, the father would lay down his punishment as well that would help discipline the child. Discipline goes a long way to upbringing, because that teaches a person how to follow certain standards, rules. There has been times where some parents talk to their children as if they were friends, there are no standards or discipline applied because of how the parent reacts.

A parent is supposed to take care of their offspring, but not allow them to talk in a manner that will disparage their role as a parent. Never diminish the importance of your role, realize if your bond isn't where you want it to be today,

you can work to strengthen it. Your connection with your children won't end when they reach the teen age in which the bond will continue to evolve into your children's adult years. 1. Inside the community, there are influences to raising the child in the community that goes to the saying of a community raising a kid.

Well, children raised in single parent families are often raised by a village of supporters. In many cases, members of the extended family will step up and play a significant role in the children's lives. Those single parents who don't live near family may choose to participate in community groups, including single parent support groups, churches, and etc. Church has the environment for being your home away from home, there are people inside the church that take notice to your behavior and will want the best for you.

But also there are church folk, who live and breathe by the bible and are quick to judge someone which will draw a parent or child to trust in their church. One of the hardest things to do when raising your child, is to be away from church, or away from living right. 1. Children in single parent families witness conflict between the parent, another adult or conflict with them and their job. You can't always prevent your children from feeling sad or disappointed, but you can help them to express and cope with their emotions. The problem with some single parents, they do not understand that their hurt can affect the child as well.

A parent will be unhappy with their child because it may cause them not to find the companion

they want, in doing that, the child will have a decrease in self confidence because they have felt they are needed. Parent should always uplift their child no matter what the parent is going through, because it was not the child’s fault, children are sometimes are feeling the pain that someone else has caused to their parent. Children who are raised in successful single parent families know that they are the main priority in their parents' lives, yet they are not treated as if they were the center of attention.

Success could be a problem if the parents are not spending the time they should with their child, but are working to remain successful. There is nothing wrong with having a good job and all but if you are not going to take care of your child, who should be main priority, there’s a problem. Kids have a connection with their parent; they want to be around them more than just be around a nanny or babysitter. When they feel they are not important in your life, they work to become the opposite of their parent based the love they were not given; this helps them deal with life on their own.

Help balance their own needs and wants towards having a family based home for themselves. Not only peers influence a person upbringing but the community, culture, and media also play a factor into the upbringing of someone life. The community is the bases of communal experience and integration, relationships between other people. The income the community produces is a factor with someone’s upbringing such as the way they look at situations. Some families may live

in poverty, the child learns the importance of work, and money, will use those principles when they have their own place.

People inside the community also; some neighborhoods, or small towns, the people know each other by names and address them as if they were family. When a child comes from that type of atmosphere, moves out to a busier city, they are an all around nice person as well as treating strangers with kindness. Some city upbringing involves taking care of yourself only and not of other people, when a person comes to live their life and see a situation, they are reminded of when they were young and watched other reaction to it. Inside the community are the churches which will help structure someone spiritual look on life.

There are numerous of atheist out there, I can guess that they are that way because of the things they have gone through at home or in the community. If they grew up in a household where they witness disappointed their whole life and the parent, rather than give encourage, add on to the pain. The child begins to think and question to the probability of the belief in God. But with the help of the church community, peers, a person can always find other ways to read on the bible, by using the internet or watching it on TV.

Now in today’s age where technology has taken over at a rate that the average Joe cannot comprehend; with this, the social interaction has become high tech. Today people can communicate with each other through phones using the text messaging function as well as communicator messengers. Also the

internet has gone from usage in the workplace to usage in the bathroom (so to speak), networks are available on phones, people can communicate using the most popular site Facebook to interact with friends and family. What does this have to with the upbringing of a child?

Easy, with today’s parents exposing their children with this technology, children are growing more mature than before based on the information they can obtain. Children could use the internet or phone, to help with their homework, as well as check up on what’s the new fashion that everyone is wearing. In my research on the income differences between single parenting and dual parenting, there weren’t too much of a difference with the capability of the internet. But pending on where they stay, internet may not be accessible for most but to a great number of folks, internet is a must have in the house.

That outlet tends to create a images and ideas for children in how they look at things such as fashion, i. e. skinny jeans on boys are in; as well as knowing the new music that hits as well as the new dances. The social interactions between people are generally current events that they like to share and form an opinion to others about. Of course the most challenging thing for a parent (single parent especially) are the media violence that cause youth violence to increase in the community. As a parent, keeping your child away from violence has become more difficult.

To ensure your child’s friends are well mannered, respectful is simpler than avoiding the exposure of violence in the media as well as in the

environment the child is surrounded. Everything that a child is surrounded by in the environment affects them, if growing up in a safe area is the norm for someone, when put in a different environment they tend to feel unsure of themselves and unsecure. Someone living in rough conditions have grown up in the environment where they have to defend themselves at all times, are alert of they’re surroundings. Media in the live of teens shows how influential it is; it’s very pervasive for a child.

I read a study that states the average child absorbs 6 ? hours of media a day, via television, or radio. 2. So one of the things that may be more difficult for a single parent to do is monitoring what their children watch and listens to today. More teen pregnancies are happening because they see and hear it from the media, coming from songs, movies, TV shows, etc. Movies have made impact for teens based on the fictional stories surrounding the word love; everyone wants to be in it, like to see movies that they feel they can or want to relate to.

There are harsh reality consequences that follow, such as getting pregnant at an early age. A single parent will find it more difficult to not only care for their child but also for their grandchild on the way, this tends to cause friction between the parent and child. It goes back to when I discussed about degrading the child in the household would create an emotional detachment towards the parent or even towards others. The stress has taken its toll enough for the pregnant teen because they

discover that balancing parenthood, work, and school is a true challenge.

But to know you do not have the support of your parent(s), will be a even greater stress factor, may cause a problem with the unborn child during pregnancy. The whole issue with teens becoming pregnant, is that it’s not “holy”, or “pure”; they are judged for the decision they made. The support of your parent(s), peers, family members, community makes a difference for someone socially. Because anyone feel pushed away or not having the support they need, will begin to close off to friends and may take drastic actions in committing suicide.

That’s where the emotional side of the upbringing comes to play, because a child need to have a feel being wanted, expects to receive that from whoever they are surrounded with. With the community, media playing roles in someone upbringing, it shows the maturity a person has when it comes to trusting someone, able to be dependent when needed. One factor I fail to mention but will touch on are the different cultures and the effects of their upbringing for the children.

Children in different countries have different upbringing; children in the United Kingdom are exposed to be around other cultures, so that racism will not be an issue for hem because they see everyone the same. The children also go to private school from the age of 5 to 18, they are taught the etiquettes that are set by the royal family; have to carry themselves in a certain way. In Africa, where poverty is most evident, children upbringing is a health issue than anything else. With little amounts of food and water,

little of education, a child will not be able to socially interact with another culture because of the emotional detachment they have.

Lacking education, they will not be able to indulge in conservative conversations with others, living in poor living conditions makes it easier to make friends with other children in the area or village, but when moved out of the environment, they have a culture shock. A child moving from poverty to a steady, moving environment will find it difficult to adjust. They are overwhelmed with the things that are accessible to them now, rather than hoping and praying for their next meal or bath. Being humble is not being arrogant, modest as well as having a personality trait that loves to learn new things.

When people from different a country visit or live in another country, they (first) have the motivation to learn the language and the way of living. It’s a new environment someone is exposed to; it teaches them that the world is much bigger than what’s behind their origin country. Other countries frown upon pregnancy before marriage; some will even kill or disown their child for that. Being a military member’s child, will help a child develop more advance than any other child based on the things they are exposed to.

The way they are being taught in school, picking up on the different languages and tradition of the country they are in, as well as interacting with other children. Different cultures coming together, each child can learn something from another because their ways of communicating with their parents are different. Some cultures are more respectful towards their parents; some are being bought

off to other people from their parents. In developing into an intelligent person in the world, it is always the advantage to know different cultures traditions; it grows respect as well as increase their bilingual social skills.