Online Dating Essay Example
Online Dating Essay Example

Online Dating Essay Example

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ONLINE DATING I ntroduction Online dating is a relatively new phenomenon. It arose during the late 1990s, at the same time that the Internet itself was becoming increasingly popular. Despite being a relatively young industry, online dating has already become one of the most profitable types of business to be found on the Internet.

Online dating services currently attract millions of users every day, and the industry as a whole is making hundreds of millions of dollars each year. Online dating provides an efficient way for people to meet prospective partners and to get to know them through e-mails and chats.There are various positive aspects to be found in the experience of online dating, as compared to the traditional methods of dating. These include, for example, convenience, safety, and a sense of anonymity.

However, the online

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dating experience can also have certain negative aspects, such as a lack of personal contact and the risk of being deceived. This paper will start out by providing an overview of the online dating industry, including a brief history and a description of its current status. The paper will then discuss why people use online dating services as well as the opportunities and pitfalls that are associated with the experience.The paper will conclude with an evaluation of the effectiveness of the online dating experience. It will be seen that online dating can be successful in terms of forming long-term relationships; however, as a general rule, a great deal of trial-and-error is also involved in this process.

Overview of the Online Dating Industry Long distance courtships (by telephone, letters, etc. ) existed long before the rise of the Internet i

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the 1990s. Nonetheless, the Internet, which enables people to instantly communicate with others around the world, has changed how people go about meeting potential mates and forming relationships.It is impossible to say when the first couple fell in love by communicating with one another over their computers’ modem connections.

However, it is possible to pinpoint when the first online dating service was launched. Match. com, which began in April 1995, “is considered a pioneer in bringing online dating into the mainstream” (“History of Online Dating” n. p.

). Soon, other dating sites opened, and the phenomenon of online dating started growing in popularity. As early as 1996, articles about happy couples that had met online began to appear in popular magazines (Gwinnell xv-xvi).Despite such articles, there was a bit of a stigma to using online dating services during the early period of their development. Many people felt that only a hopeless loser, a desperate geek, or a sexual predator, would try to get dates in such a manner. However, as the Internet itself became increasingly popular over the years, so too did the idea of meeting and getting to know people online.

Today, online dating is regarded as a commonplace activity. This can be seen, for example, in the responses to a 2002 survey conducted by Lycos Matchmaker.As reported in the findings of that survey, “70% of singles polled say that online dating today is more mainstream, compared to a few years ago” (“Online Dating Soars in Popularity” n. p. ). In addition, the poll showed that 59 percent of Lycos users were interested in joining an online dating service, compared to only 29 percent

in the year 2000.

Another indication of the present-day acceptance of online dating can be found in the responses to a survey of nearly 2,000 singles, conducted by Match. com in 2002.In response to the question “If you met the love of your life online, would you admit to your family and friends how you met this person? ,” 92 percent said yes and only 8 percent said no (“Online Dating Usage” n. p. ).

Thus, the stigma that was originally attached to the idea of online dating has by now pretty much disappeared. In 2002, an article in the Hollywood Reporter noted that dating sites had become the top earners among all of the “paid content” sites to be found online. As such, they were earning more revenue each year than entertainment sites as well as business and investment sites (Hiestand 6).The extent of the growth of online dating sites over the years can be seen in the case of Match. com.

The service attracted 60,000 members during its first year in operation; by 2005, it had acquired more than 15 million active users, as well as “about one million paying subscribers from more than 246 countries” (“History of Online Dating” n. p. ). The online dating industry as a whole is currently worth millions of dollars each year, and it is expected to continue to grow in the upcoming future. In 2003, it was reported that 40 million Americans had visited an online dating site and, in 005, it was estimated that total revenues for the online dating industry would reach $516 million (Varian C2).

There are currently hundreds of dating services to

be found on the Internet. In addition to Match. com, some of the more popular sites include LavaLife, Date. com, Yahoo! Personals, FriendFinder. com, Oneandonly. com, Lycos Matchmaker, eHarmony.

com, and DatingDirect. com (in the United Kingdom). Most of the sites charge a monthly fee (approximately $25-$35) for full membership; however, most sites also allow users to sample their services for free (“A Practical Guide” 13).The concept of “niche services” is a growing trend in the online dating industry.

In other words, an increasing number of Internet users are becoming interested in dating services that are designed to serve “highly specialized” needs (Goel 26). One of the fastest growing of the market segments is found among elderly persons. In 2005, Yahoo! Personals conducted its third annual “Singles’ Voice Survey,” with more than 2,000 participants responding. The results of this survey indicated that the number of “mature online dates” (age 50 and up) was on the rise (“Yahoo!Personals” n. p.

). Similarly, Match. com recently discovered that “10% of its 15 million members are age 50 or older” (“A Practical Guide” 13). Various sites catering exclusively to older daters have appeared on the Internet, including SilverSingles.

com and Senior FriendFinder. In addition, a large number of other sites have been launched in order to appeal to a variety of specialized interests. These include Blacksingles. com (for African Americans), and Christiansingles.

com (for Christians) (Merrick R16).Other special interest sites include Gay. com and GreenSingles. com. There are also sites for Jewish singles, pet lovers, and people who are politically conservative or liberal (Goel 26).

Still other dating sites are “personality-focused” and are designed to sort “for compatibility

based on very in-depth personality questionnaires” (Goel 26). The Online Dating Experience People turn to the use of online dating services because they are seeking a new way to meet potential relationship partners.According to a survey of 3,400 Internet users conducted by Nielsen/NetRatings in 2005, one in three respondents said they preferred online dating over all other methods for meeting prospective partners (“Online Dating Survey” n. p. ). A survey by Match.

com found 49 percent of respondents claiming that online dating is better than “wasting time at bars” (“Online Dating Usage” n. p. ). There is a growing acknowledgement that online dating is useful not only to “busy career people” but also to “the socially challenged population that feel more confident when online or interacting with technology” (“Online Dating” n. . ).

There are also indications that the majority of people who use online dating services are seeking long-term relationships. A survey by Yahoo! Personals, for example, found that 75 percent of singles are looking for this type of relationship. Similarly, the Nielsen/NetRatings survey mentioned above found that 11 percent of online daters were looking for marriage (“Online Dating Survey” n. p. ). Of course, some users of online dating services are merely looking for friendships or casual relationships.

Furthermore, some users are primarily interested in “cybersex,” in which “safe sex” is practiced online by “swapping text based sexual fantasies” (“Online Dating” n. p. ). One of the most positive aspects of the online dating experience is found in how it opens up opportunities for finding suitable partners. Online dating has a great deal of appeal because it is a highly “efficient” way to meet

people and get to know them (Ben-Ze’ev 50).

It is convenient because it can be done at any time of the day or night from the comfort of one’s own home.In addition, a person can participate in an online date “without having to be out with your mates or dressed up to the nines” (Hill and Walmsley 48). Safety is another factor in the appeal of online dating; in this regard, “more than 80% of both males and females say that online dating is as safe or safer than meeting someone at a bar” (“Online Dating Soars in Popularity” n. p.

). Online dating seems safer in a psychological sense, as well. Many people are attracted to the use of online dating services because of they provide a sense of anonymity.Along with this, online dating services have the advantage of providing a “pool” of participants who are actively seeking relationships. Because of this, the services are useful in helping people overcome the feelings of vulnerability that often arises when trying to meet new people at a bar or other public place (Hill and Walmsley 48).

Yet another advantage of the online dating experience is that it forces people “to judge others initially on their ideas rather than on their physical appearance,” and thus “enables individuals to connect on a very different level than they might ace-to-face” (“Online Dating” n. p. ). In short, online dating is a good way to get to know somebody before meeting face to face and is thus a good way to “weed out” undesirable prospects while avoiding the kinds of pitfalls that are associated with traditional forms of dating. Online

dating can also result in certain negative experiences as well. For example, online dating is less personal than traditional dating is.

In addition, in online dating profiles, people often appear to be different than they really are.As noted by Aaron Ben-Ze’ev, this is one of the major problems in “actualizing” an online relationship (that is, transforming an online relationship into a successful offline relationship). According to Ben-Ze’ev, the actualization process might fail not only because of deception in a person’s profile, but also because people tend to use their imaginations to create an “illusion” about their prospective partners (140-141). Another drawback to online dating is found in the need to fill out questionnaires, which can sometimes be very lengthy and time-consuming.

Online questionnaires can also feel like an intrusion of one’s privacy. In 2003, Internet Magazine had two reporters (one male and one female) visit four popular online dating sites and summarize their experiences. Both reporters agreed that “filling in lengthy questionnaires proved a chore and made online dating feel an unnatural way to meet people” (Hill and Walmsley 48). Clearly, some online dating services are better than others and thus people will be inclined to choose one service over another. For example, a particular service will be more attractive if it has a known success rate and if it is reasonably priced.

Some sites are appealing because of the extra features they provide. Such features might include articles offering information or advice, or workshops to help users get the most out of the service. In fact, “larger sites offer features that create full-scale communities oriented to finding a date” (Merrick R16). A particular site will be

more attractive if it is well organized and easy to use. As noted, people also tend to shy away from sites that require the filling out of lengthy, in-depth questionnaires. On the other hand, such questionnaires are helpful in making more compatible matches.

) Yet another factor in choosing one site over another is the type of relationship that the user is looking for. Thus, “some people prefer the larger matchmakers because they offer a healthy candidate pool – a lot of fish in a big sea”; however, others prefer more targeted “niche” sites because they believe that “religion, ethnicity or another characteristic is a critical factor in choosing a potential mate” (Merrick R16). Evaluation of the Online Dating ExperienceThere is a growing body of empirical and anecdotal evidence to show that online dating can be an effective means for making a romantic match or developing a long-term relationship. As noted by Ben-Ze’ev, the “actualization” of an online relationship (turning it into an offline relationship) is a natural step for most people (135).

A study by Jeff Gavin and associates at the University of Bath (in England) examined the data of 229 people who used online dating services. The study showed that 94 percent of the respondents made face-to-face contact with the partners that they met online.Many of these contacts developed into long-term relationships. In addition, “of the relationships, 39 per cent were still going on at the time of the survey, and of these 24 percent had been going for at least a year, and eight percent for at least two years” (“Internet Dating” n. p. ).

An extensive study on online dating was

conducted in 2004 by Gunter Hitsch and Ali Hortacsu of the University of Chicago, and Dan Ariely of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. These researchers examined data from 30,000 users of an online dating service, who were living in San Diego and Boston at the time.The data were obtained from the users’ online profiles and from the weblogs they kept in regard to their online dating experiences. The basic findings of the study were not particularly surprising. For example, physical attractiveness was found to be an important factor in the process, and “women who post photos receive about twice as many e-mail messages as those who do not” (Varian C2). In addition, “men reporting incomes in excess of $250,000 received 156 percent more e-mail messages than those with incomes below $50,000” (Varian C2).

The majority of the participants – both male and female – were found to be looking for long-term relationships in their online dating experiences. However, it was also found that men are more inclined to seek casual relationships than women are. Thus, the results showed that 41 percent of women were seeking long-term relationships, 12 percent were seeking friendships, and 4 percent were seeking casual relationships. Among men, 37 percent were found to be seeking long-term relationships, 14 percent were seeking casual relationships, and 7 percent were seeking friendships (Hitsch, et al.

-7). Hitsch, et al. also found that many of the participants were able to make some kind of “match” with online partners, as seen in the exchange of e-mail addresses or phone numbers, or the communication of a message such as “let’s meet. ” Most of the matches were based on

correlations of attractiveness, education, or income (Hitsch, et al.

25). There is also anecdotal, or qualitative, evidence indicating that online dating can be a successful experience; however, this evidence also indicates that most people must go through a period of trial-and-error and disappointment at first.In the Internet Magazine experiment, in which a male and a female reporter described their experiences in visiting four popular online dating sites, the woman found that most of the responses to her profiles were from men that were simply not attractive to her. For the male reporter, the main problem was simply the discouragement of not receiving many responses at all (Hill and Walmsley 48).

Further disappointments often occur when online partners seek to “actualize” their relationships in the offline world.As reported by Ben-Ze’ev, people are sometimes shocked or even disgusted when they meet their online partners face-to-face for the first time. As claimed by one woman, for example, “the reality of meeting him shattered my dream” (Ben-Ze’ev 139). I have a friend who had similar results in her own personal experiences with online dating. As a divorced woman with two teenage children, she tried her luck by running an ad on the Yahoo! Personals site.

She chose seven respondents to have coffee shop dates with. Six of the seven men proved to be unacceptable in one way or another.One man was simply not attractive to her, one man was overly aggressive, one man was a pothead, and three of the men were obviously interested primarily in sex. The seventh attempt however, proved to be a successful match and they are currently planning to be married. Thus, it can be

seen that long-term relationships can be created with online dating services, but there is generally a need to “weed through” various prospects before arriving at a suitable one. Overall, it seems that the odds for forming a successful relationship online are similar to those for finding one with traditional, offline approaches.

As stated by a New York Times reporter in regard to the findings of the study by Hitsch, et al. , “online dating is no worse than other ways to meet people” (Varian C2). Conclusion Online dating has become a popular mainstream phenomenon, as well as a major source of business revenue. Hundreds of online dating services currently exist, many of which are designed to cater to specialized interests. Although there are some exceptions, most people who use online dating services are seeking long-term relationships.Online dating has become immensely popular because it provides a good way to meet prospective relationship partners.

Online dating is appealing because it is more convenient and safer than trying to meet people at bars or other public settings. In addition, online dating is an efficient way to narrow down one’s prospects before arranging to meet them face-to-face. Along with this, some people are attracted to online dating because it helps to reduce the negative psychological impact of rejection (which might occur, for example, when one is turned down in a nightclub or a bar).Although there are various positive aspects associated with the phenomenon of online dating, there are also some negative aspects to be found in the experience as well.

For example, the sign-up questionnaires at some online dating sites are overly long and intrusive. However, the most likely reason

for having a negative experience with online dating is because people may deceive others with their profile data. Related to this, people often develop illusory conceptions about their online partners prior to actually meeting them face-to-face.Because of these factors, online daters are often greatly disappointment when they finally make contact in the offline world.

This can occur even when the online relationship has seemingly been very successful. In order to attain the best results with online dating, it is important for the partners to share as many compatibility traits as possible. As discussed in this paper, there is both empirical and anecdotal evidence to show that long-term relationships are possible as a result of participating in online dating activities.However, the evidence also shows that the process may take a certain amount of time and effort and that one should expect many disappointments at first, before finally attaining a successful offline relationship. In using online dating services, better results can be expected if one creates an honest and realistic profile for others to respond to. There are also indications that more responses, as well as better responses, will occur when one has included a photograph as part of the online profile.

Above all, it is important for the users of online dating services to be aware of the need for trial-and-error in the attainment of a satisfactory result. Some initial failures are to be expected, and thus people must be prepared to persist and keep trying if they want to attain the most positive results from the online dating experience. Works Cited Ben-Ze’ev, Aaron. Love Online: Emotions on the Internet. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2004.

Goel, Natalie.

“Getting More Personal. ” PC Magazine 24(1), January 2005, 26. Gwinnell, Esther. Online Seductions: Falling in Love with Strangers on the Internet.

New York: Kodansha International, 1998. Hiestand, Jesse. “Paid Content Continues Growth. ” Hollywood Reporter 376(32), December 23, 2002, 6. Hill, Steve, and Heather Walmsley. “Meet Your Match.

” Internet Magazine, Spring 2003, 48-53. “History of Online Dating. ” Online Dating Magazine, 2004. Available: <http://www. onlinedatingmagazine.

com/history/history-of-online-dating. html> Hitsch, Gunter J. , Ali Hortacsu, and Dan Ariely. “What Makes You Click: An Empirical Analysis of Online Dating.

” University of Chicago, October 2004. Available: <gsbwww. chicago. edu/kilts/research/qme/papers/hitsch.

pdf> “Internet Dating Much More Successful Than Previously Thought. ” Physorg. com, February 14, 2005. Available: <http://www. physorg.

com/news3030. html> Merrick, Amy. “The Best Way to... Find a Date.

” Wall Street Journal, November 27, 2000, R16. “Online Dating. ” M/Cyclopedia of New Media, 2004. Available: <http://wiki. media-culture.

org. au/index. php/Online_Dating> “Online Dating Soars in Popularity and is Increasingly Mainstream. ” Business Wire, February 4, 2002.

“Online Dating Survey. Marketing Week, August 4, 2005, 17. “Online Dating Usage. ” Match. com Research, 2002-2003. Available: <http://corp.

match. com/index/newscenter_research_online. asp> “A Practical Guide to Online Dating. ” Kiplinger’s Retirement Report 12(7), July 2005, 13. Varian, Hal R.

“Online Dating? Thin and Rich Works Here, Too. ” New York Times, June 30, 2005, C2. “Yahoo! Personals Announces Results of Its Third Annual Singles’ Voice Survey. ” Yahoo! Press Releases, September 19, 2005. Available: <http://yhoo. client.

shareholder. com/ReleaseDetail. cfm? &ReleaseID=173924>

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