How to Retain Pulchritude While Lost in the Woods Essay Example

you will not later be able to cover with clothing as you fight it to the death.

Once the bear is dead, you can claim its cave as your home.

Your new bear prize can be utilized for many purposes. Its hide can be removed and worn as a fashionable fur coat, while its bones can be used to decorate your luxurious one-room apartment. Because malnutrition Is not in style right now, be sure to prepare and eat the bear's meat so that you can maintain your perfect body composition. If you are really looking to Impress your neighbors with your cave abode, you can hang an emergency blanket over the entrance to serve as a door and weave a welcome mat out of twigs ND grass.

Now that you have a comfortable place to live until you are found, you need to focus on personal hygiene.

Jogging at least three miles every day and maintaining a consistent workout schedule will keep you in shape while you are lost. Think of the woods as a gym that you don't need to purchase a membership for; there are plenty of rocks to bench press, tree limbs can serve as pull-up bars, and the best part is that you don't have to worry about the other gym patrons Judging you.

A stream is indispensable as means to both bathe yourself and wash your clothes. After bathing, grab a small branch from a pine tree; It will serve as an excellent comb. As an added bonus pine trees are green year-round so you can keep your hair looking gorgeous In any season.

You may be enjoying your carefree

life In the woods, but It will eventually be time for you to get found. Make sure you are cleanly shaven, put on fresh clothes, wait behind a nearby bush or cluster of trees for somebody inside of it to look your way.

When a person inside the cottage eventually glances in your direction, make our move: stumble out of the woods, looking weary but attractive, and collapse in the yard of the cottage. The person inside will rush to bring you inside, but be careful that he/she does not mess up your hair in the process. Make certain that your savior calls all of the important newspapers, magazines, and news networks so that you can impress the world with the awe-inspiring story of how you became lost in the harsh unforgiving wilderness and somehow managed to reemerge into society more beautiful than you were when you left.