During the first months or even years of a newly married couple’s relationship they spend their time reestablishing their relationship. Couples who have children may then decide to marry or remarry. These couples skip right over the reestablishment phase and go right into the family phase. How do couples who have children from a previous relationship or marriage adapt to this change? In order to have a balanced home, couples need to establish a nurturing environment for the children to grow. This will enable the children to show affection, to have trust in each family member, and to feel safe in the home.
Dynamics of a Blended Family A blended family is when one or both members of the marriage have children from a previous relationship or marriage. Some families have a biological mother with children who marr
...ies and her spouse becomes a stepfather. The biological father may have children from a previous marriage, who then marries and his spouse becomes a stepmother. Both the mother and father can have children out of a previous relationship or marriage. These different family dynamics are becoming more and more typical for this day and time. At least one-third of all children in the U. S. ill be part of a stepfamily before they reach the age of 18.
The biological parents have legal rights. The stepparents have no legally recognized right over the stepchildren. If the biological parent, who is legally recognized as the non-custodial parent, of the child agrees to let the stepparent to legally adopt the child. Then the stepparent can adopt the child and have legally rights to the child. There are seven distinct stages o
development of a family. The Early, Middle, and Late stages (Patricia Papernow). The early stages consist of the Fantasy, Immersion, and Awareness stage.
The Fantasy stage is when the parent and children of the families are stuck in the fantasy of how their family is supposed to be. The family begins to struggle with the Fantasy stage. Then the Immersion stage is the struggle between the “insider spouse” and the “outsider spouse. ” The Awareness stage is when the family becomes aware of the how the family dynamics are going to be. Each family member begins to learn information about each family member. The Middle stage consist of Mobilization and Action stages. In the Mobilization and Action stage, the stepparent begins to step forward into the family.
The stepparent will have a more active role in the family. The goals in this stage are to make decisions, rules, and roles each person has in the family. This stage is unique because this “middle ground” creates balance to the family with honoring of the past and other relationships. In the last stage consists of Contact and Resolution stages. The Contact stages shows that the couple is working together, boundaries between the households are clear, and stepparents have definite roles with the stepchildren. Finally, the Resolution stages, the stepfamily has become secure. The children feel safe and secure with each member of the family.
This stage offers the ability to work through their any issues that arise in the household. As anyone is about to expand their family by either remarrying or having more children, remembering a few important things. Be realistic about your family dynamics, changes will not be
accepted overnight. Be patient with your children because any good relationship takes time. Children need to feel that they can count on and trust each member of the family. Limit what you expect of any relationship you wish to have with your children. Think of it as making small investment that may one-day yield a return, but do not expect it now.
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