Deterioration in Long Distance Relationship Essay Example
Introduction: A long distance relationship, also referred to as LDR, is a romantic relationship in which the partners are geographically separated. I have been engaged in this particular type of relationship for 10 months and it continues at present. Being an international student studying abroad, my boyfriend and I find ourselves thousands of miles apart, with Indonesia and Australia being our respective locations. Despite the minor time zone discrepancy and convenient communication options, our relationship has begun to face decline due to alterations in behavior and dating patterns that have led to feelings of insecurity and a negative outlook on our bond.
When we are in a negative state of mind and our ego dominates, it is common for us to engage in fights and experience grumpy feelings. These unfavorable emotions not only affect our romantic partnership but also shape our overall perspectives on relati
...onships. Nevertheless, there are techniques that long distance couples can acquire and comprehend to establish a strong and thriving long distance relationship. A crucial factor to contemplate is the regularity and mode of communication in an LDR.
Long distance relationships (LDR) refer to couples who are geographically apart but remain devoted to each other. These relationships encounter unique challenges that can lead to problems, especially in communication. Successful communication is vital as it shows care and consideration (Pistole, 2010) and reflects the level of importance each individual places on their partner. Consequently, it is crucial to prioritize and enhance communication in order to maintain a lasting relationship.
Lack of communication in a relationship can result in negative thoughts about one another. In a long-distance relationship (LDR), the absence of text messages, calls, or email
may cause doubts about infidelity, being forgotten, or not being prioritized. These negative perceptions can damage an LDR and increase the likelihood of its decline. Additionally, uncertainty and dissatisfaction with future prospects contribute to the deterioration of an LDR.
According to Kinney and Maguire (2007), uncertainty about the future often causes distress and a decline in the relationship for couples. This distress is a result of insecurities that arise from not knowing what lies ahead. On the other hand, couples who feel confident about their future and have a high chance of reuniting tend to have higher levels of relationship satisfaction. These couples already have a positive vision of their future and typically feel excited and happy while managing a long-distance relationship. However, distressed couples who are uncertain about the future may experience decreased belief in commitment and overall feelings towards each other.
Being in a long-distance relationship for 10 months has made it clear to me that the distress caused by this type of relationship can have significant negative impacts on both romance and faith. From my own experience, I have learned that communication is greatly influenced by feelings of boredom and uncertainty. When negative ego comes into play, I often hesitate to reach out because I want him to be the one initiating contact. His initiation is important to me as it signifies his care and attention. However, reality doesn't always align with my hopes and expectations.
As I eagerly anticipate my partner's first call, our communication steadily dwindles. The lack of texting, phone calls, and webcam chats leads to arguments between us. Maintaining communication is crucial for our long-distance relationship to thrive, as any decline
in this area affects our romance and trust in each other. When we miss out on updates about each other, negative feelings arise, leading to possessiveness. I become insecure and unsure about the future of our relationship, constantly worrying about my boyfriend's well-being. Trust and belief in each other gradually diminish and are replaced by ego.
As our relationship deteriorates, I contemplate our future. Despite being together for 3 years, the strain of distance has disrupted our romance. We were once a fun, joyful, understanding, and cool couple. However, his lack of indication to wait or propose makes everything feel mundane. The absence of direction diminishes my enthusiasm to continue investing time in this long distance relationship that has caused me stress.
Future and certainty play a crucial role in this long-distance relationship (LDR). Any committed couple would be willing to overcome any obstacle to achieve their future goals. In fact, an LDR is not as challenging when it comes to ensuring a bright future. Individuals who envision a future together are willing to endure the hardships of being apart because they recognize that their sacrifices will be rewarded in the end. #Commitment In an LDR, commitment is essential for cultivating a successful relationship. Commitment not only strengthens the bond between partners but also fosters trust and belief in one another.
Without a strong commitment, both long-distance relationships (LDRs) and regular relationships are at risk of deteriorating. In my case, our relationship was initially built on a solid commitment. However, once that commitment was broken due to my boyfriend's infidelity, it became challenging for me to resolve the dilemma. Despite his remorse and promise to never repeat his
actions, the lack of trust has negatively impacted our LDR. This lack of complete trust generates negative thoughts and perceptions, making it difficult to maintain a positive LDR (Rill et al., 2009).
In every relationship, whether it is an LDR or not, communication styles differ between couples. Since communication plays a crucial role in LDRs, small issues in communication can lead to further deterioration in the relationship. It is important to recognize that each couple has their own unique communication style (Stafford, 2010). Instead of trying to adopt another couple's style which would only create unrealistic expectations and yield no positive results, we should focus on finding and understanding what works best for us.
In a long distance relationship (LDR), having high expectations without seeing any results can worsen the deterioration of the relationship, causing it to become unhealthy and full of suffering. However, couples can follow guidelines to prevent this deterioration and save their relationship.
One strategy is for individuals to keep themselves busy. Those with more free time often feel distressed and lonely compared to those who are occupied with work or hobbies. The feeling of loneliness can be especially detrimental in an LDR. By engaging in activities or focusing on work, people can divert their attention and think about something more productive.
Another approach is for partners to understand and respect each other's opinions. This helps foster positive thoughts and a positive mindset. Arguments often arise because decisions are based on emotions rather than rationality. Through understanding and respecting each other, couples demonstrate greater care towards one another, resulting in a healthier and improved relationship.
Lastly, self-reflection plays a crucial role. It's important for individuals to ask
themselves if they are perfect or always right in the relationship as partnerships involve two people, not just one individual. If conflicts or arguments occur, it means both parties have contributed to them.
To summarize, it is crucial to have the courage to apologize and acknowledge errors. Effective communication plays a vital role in fostering comprehension and trust within relationships. Regular conversations and problem-solving contribute to the organic growth of romance and trust. Conversely, inadequate communication can result in negative perceptions of our partner. It is equally important to maintain optimism and release ego and prejudice as they impede our problem-solving capabilities.
Instead of waiting for our partner to take the initiative, we can make a significant impact on our relationship by taking small steps. To prevent deterioration in a long distance relationship, follow these guidelines:
- Strong commitment: A strong commitment allows couples to trust each other and overcome any obstacles. This commitment boosts self-esteem and confidence.
- Positive thinking: Maintaining a positive mindset is key to building a healthy long distance relationship.
Positive thinking is crucial in decision-making, generating ideas, and communication. Couples who maintain a positive mindset usually experience fewer conflicts and negative arguments. Moreover, positive thinking can enhance romance and foster a healthy relationship. Additionally, effective communication is vital. It is important to ensure that routine communication is mutually beneficial. Strive for enjoyable, satisfying, and high-quality conversations. According to Fogler and Le Blanc (2008), it is crucial to avoid letting conversations escalate into fights or discussing negative perceptions. Utilizing online devices such as webcams, calls, or messengers can help create a sense of presence between partners.
In order to avoid misinterpretation, it is recommended to
communicate using voice and visual cues instead of email. Trust and forgiveness play a crucial role in establishing confidence within a relationship (Locker Jr et al., 2010). Couples who trust each other tend to have fewer conflicts as they are already convinced of their partner's choices. For instance, when a guy assures his girlfriend that he will have a 'boys night out', he convinces her that he will not engage in any foolish behavior but simply enjoy himself while staying loyal.
If there is trust between them, the guy can enjoy himself without being bothered by the girl's complaints. 5. Stay occupied. When starting a long distance relationship, it is crucial to acknowledge that you will be spending more time apart from your partner. Avoid excessive calling and concentrate on productive activities like work and hobbies. By leading a productive life, we can also uphold a positive outlook for our relationship (Maguire, 2010). To sum up, long distance relationships are clearly unique compared to other types of relationships.
Being in a long-distance relationship (LDR) can present challenges when it comes to dating and communication. Some couples in LDRs struggle to effectively address these issues, causing the relationship to suffer. Ultimately, the success or failure of the relationship hinges on how well the couple navigates these obstacles. Common challenges that may arise in an LDR include communication, certainty, future plans, commitment, and trust.
If a couple can successfully prevent and avoid these problems, their chances of maintaining a healthy relationship are high. Coping with challenges in a long distance relationship necessitates interpersonal strength, which is intricately linked to human psychology. In my own experience with a long distance relationship,
I demonstrate interpersonal strength by suppressing negative thoughts and cultivating trust and commitment through logical thinking. Interpersonal weakness emerges when ego clashes with logic, leading to arguments and conflicts. These encounters have taught me that we cultivate interpersonal strength through our own endeavors.
The power to weaken interpersonal relationships lies in external distractions, but we have the strength within us to conquer these obstacles and nurture positive qualities. By developing interpersonal strengths, we can break down our ego and cultivate a positive mindset that preserves or prevents deterioration in relationships. I firmly believe that by having faith in ourselves and trusting in our abilities, we can confront and surpass interpersonal weaknesses. The solution resides in our minds. Those who possess strong interpersonal skills can anticipate and achieve their goals by maintaining control and making well-informed decisions.
Having strong interpersonal skills is essential for maintaining a successful long-distance relationship. Couples who possess these skills can effectively handle the challenges that come with being separated, reducing the impact of distance. The ability to overcome distractions and stay focused on their goals distinguishes these couples.
References:
- Fogler, H ; Le Blanc, S, 2008, Strategies for Creative Problem Solving, 2nd ed, Pearson Education Inc, New Jersey
- Johnson, DW, 2009, Reaching Out: Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self – Actualization, 10th ed, Pearson Education Inc, New Jersey
- Kinney Terry A ; Maguire Katheryn C., 'When Distance is Problematic: Communication Coping and Relational Satisfaction in Female College Students' Long-Distance Dating Relationships', Journal of Applied Communication Research Feb 2010 Vol. 38 Issue 1 p27-46 20p 4 Charts viewed 4 April 2011 retrieved from Victoria University Online Library
- Locker Jr L McIntosh W Hackney A Wilson J Wiegand K 'The Breakup of
Romantic Relationships: Situational Predictors of Perception of Recovery' North American Journal of Psychology 2010 Vol.12 Issue3 p565-57814p3 Charts.
Viewed 3 April 2011, retrieved from Victoria University Online Library Maguire, Katheryn C. , "Will It Ever End? ": A (Re)examination of Uncertainty in College Student Long-Distance Dating Relationships’, Communication Quarterly Nov 2007, Vol. 55 Issue 4, p415-432, 18p, 2 Charts, viewed 4 April 2011, retrieved from Victoria University Online Library Pistole, Carole, ‘Long-Distance Romantic Couples: An Attachment Theoretical Perspective’, Journal of Marital & Family Therapy April 2010, Vol. 36 Issue 2, p115-125, 11p, viewed 5 April 2011, retrieved from Victoria University Online Library
The text discusses two research articles on different topics related to relationships. The first article is titled "Exploration of the Relationship between Self-Esteem, Commitment, and Verbal Aggressiveness in Romantic Dating Relationships" by Rill, L, Baiocchi, E, Hopper, M, Denker, K, and Olson, Loreen. It was published in the Communication Reports journal in July of 2009. The article examines the association between self-esteem, commitment, and verbal aggressiveness in romantic dating relationships. The second article is titled "Geographic Distance and Communication" by Stafford, Laura. It was published in the Communication Research journal in April 2010. The article discusses the impact of geographic distance on communication in relationships. Both articles were retrieved from the Victoria University Online Library and have been cited with their respective page numbers and word count.
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