Attachment Style and Relationships Essay Example

a bond can greatly influence the connections an individual creates. Emotionally unresponsive relationships, which prioritize commitment and involve preserving appearances, convenience, and financial assistance, are widely recognized. Conversely, consummate love is when all three elements are merged and frequently called "total love," which is highly sought after.

While I acknowledge that childhood experiences with parents can shape an individual's attachment style, I also support the notion of "dating your dad someday." As I've grown older, I've realized that certain qualities in men, reminiscent of my father, attract me more and make me feel at ease. Moreover, upbringing contributes to shaping idiosyncrasies in behavior. For instance, people perceive me as energetic and talkative with a vivacious personality; meeting my parents provides further insight into understanding who I am.

Although childhood experiences may influence how individuals view relationships in adulthood, experiences gained through their twenties can also shape attachment styles. Even if a person grew up without one parent, it may cause anxiety issues later in life. For example, being involved in a relationship that ends with cheating and lying during this time could lead a person to fall into the avoidance category, regardless of their upbringing. Previously, attachment styles were categorized as avoidant, secure, and anxious-ambivalent, but now two dimensions are used: anxiety and avoidance. Anxiety is associated with fear of rejection and abandonment and is assumed to have low self-esteem and a negative self-view.

Individuals with low self-esteem may have a fear of being exposed or may not believe they are lovable, whereas those with high self-esteem are confident and able to maintain intimate relationships without fear. Avoidance takes into consideration one's willingness to trust and develop a

relationship. Those with high-avoidance views intimacy as unnecessary and prefer to be independent, often mistrusting others and avoiding closeness. In contrast, individuals with low-avoidance are trusting, value intimacy, and do not fear abandonment.

Four attachment styles were created based on individuals' level of anxiety and avoidance: secure, dismissing avoidant, preoccupied, and fearful avoidant. Secure attachment is characterized by a high self-image and low relationship anxiety and avoidance. Couples with this attachment style display more positive emotions than negative, experience less jealousy, feel closer to each other, have higher marital satisfaction, and are more attentive to each other's needs. Preoccupied attachment, on the other hand, is characterized by a low self-image, high anxiety, and low avoidance. Individuals with this attachment style desire intimacy but have low self-esteem that depends on the approval and affection of others. They are supportive but can be over-controlling due to insecurities and fear of abandonment.

Individuals who possess a fearful avoidant attachment style exhibit notable amounts of anxiety and avoidance. Their absence of self-esteem frequently causes them to assume that they are unlovable, which results in their avoidance of intimate relationships due to the dread of being rejected or abandoned. These individuals are often seen as emotionally detached and hesitant to provide assistance or consolation for fear of experiencing disappointment.

Dismissively avoidant individuals exhibit elevated avoidance and reduced anxiety. They possess self-confidence and do not rely on others, nor are they fixated on obtaining approval from them. These individuals value their autonomy and typically perceive relationships as troublesome, deficient in both dedication and closeness.

Although I concur with the accuracy of these attachment styles in describing individuals, I perceive that there are inevitably exclusions. Being

associated with a particular group does not necessarily result in having pessimistic relationships all through one's life. I believe that these attachment styles only provide a framework to explain how individuals experience anxiety and avoidance within intimate relationships.