Arranged Marriage Is Securer Than Romantic Marriage Essay Example

martial activities are discussed and done between parents of both families.

After marriage, fruit of love may be produced between couples, or maybe not, however, most couples under this kind of marriage proceed smoothly over a lifetime, the relationship is such secure and even no divorce between them. Traditional marriage stressed and followed a Chinese proverb “hold your hand and aging with you”, in their whole life people can only get married once, unless an exception for special reasons (such as physical condition, intelligent reason or extremely bad economic condition) to divorce. Traditionally, divorce is a disgrace to a family.

If a huge number of people against it, they should have launched a historic revolution in the marriages, as if peasants would revolt under heavy oppression, but not. Therefore, arranged marriages bring advantages and positive impact rather than its disadvantages. Overview of Romantic Marriage Getting married in romantic way is a legal human right for two individuals who decide to live together base on true affection.

Under romantic marriage, men and women has freedom and rights to choose the object of love and marriage, and also choose the way of associating with each other, such as he time of marriage, cohabitation, long-term maintenance of relationship or live separately. They didn’t follow the provisions of the traditional arranged marriages. Romanic marriages act on behalf of the progress of society. In the late 1980s, after the reforms, with the emancipation of mind, the concept of free love was violently swept across China, people abandon the traditional way and “go out” to find mate which become a great historical leap in Chinese marital history. Young men and women are no longer

simply considered to find the object of marriage, but the idea of finding a suitable partner.

Summary of Research To design the research plan I made interviews, the purpose is to get the information to support my assumptive statement. The targets of interviewers are divided into three parts: Dutch group, Dutch Chinese (born in the Netherlands with Chinese background) and Chinese.

The discussion is their opinions about comparison of romantic marriage and arranged marriage. Among the 8 interviewers, 4 of them got married. The based factor of two individuals willing to be together was true love, but they all agreed that marriages are not only concerned with emotions. Especially the opinions of interviewers with Chinese background pointed that marriage, to some extent, is a combination of two families. Under this kind of marriage, the relationship of these two families from the same background is much securer. ? Discuss assumptive statement

As the supportive articles showed on the previous page can support my assumptive statement that arranged marriage is securer than romantic way. With the information from my interviews, it also gives stronger evidence and support to my statement. Let us start from a simple question: arranged marriage, as a custom (institutional practice) has a long history in human’s society, if it is completely ignorant and cruel, how could it maintain in a great civilized tradition? Thus, it is necessary to re-examine an arranged marriage and nature of free love. First, associate “marriage” with “emotion” s a concept error.

Any marriage between men and women are not just isolated purely emotional or sexual relationship, but an “institutional arrangements” to some extent, with economic, social and cultural functions. It is so

irrational to entrust this kind of important institutional arrangements to the “free love”. Because of the protection from authority of the family and community, and public opinion constraints, arranged marriage has a high degree of stability. Secondly, I would like to reflect on the so-called “unfortunate of arranged marriage”.

Some views pointed that arranged marriages as “repression of human nature”, this stable relationship is built up on sacrificing the happiness of the parties. However, these views have no reliable basis in fact because writers, artists and Medias often use their authority in the spread of public discourse intentionally or unintentionally “choose to use the evidences” which exaggerating the disadvantages of arranged marriages.

Additional, criticism of arranged marriages if often based on an absurd premise: parents and children are hostile. While a few parents put the marriages of their children as bargaining chips in exchange for their own of family interest, parents who are truly arbitrary, purely for their own interests without considering their children are not that many. More common are those parents having the most intense selfless love and cares for the happiness of their children and parents take the wishes of the children into account when are arranging the marriages. We can still view the situation of arranged marriages in the United States, people who practice arranged marriages even though they are intellectual.

Compare with the volatile marriage in the US, the quality of this kind of marriage is still quite good. Therefore, in marriage arrangements, the interests and goals of parents and children are consistent. The only difference is the object of marriage is arranged by the parents’ decision, or by the children’s freedom of

choice. When divergence happened between couple, how to determine which side is more reliable? Generally speaking, men and women in free love are often more emotional and easily carried away; and parents have a rich of experience, are more likely to make a clear, calm and right choice.

With the big support of family, arranged marriage keeps stability than romantic marriage. Under romantic marriage in the modern society, both men and women who are finally get into the marriage, generally recognized each other’s values, religious beliefs and moral values. Romanic marriages act on behalf of the progress of society. However, with its advantages, the negative social impact of romantic marriage is particularly noteworthy. Romantic way of marriage, as we simple call it free love, is the result of promoting individualism and liberation of humanity in the Age of Enlightenment.

But historical practice indicates that so-called “human liberation” will lead to “the liberation of desire”, more and more casual intimacy and indulgent relations causing the collapse of a long-lasting loyalty, the virtues of responsibility for each other, causing widespread confusion of values, moral degradation, also a direct result of the high divorce rate. At present with advocating free love, some views pointed out that romantic way give the child the right and space to make a choice. But I think the only point on this is controversial, compare with arranged marriage, free love brings negative influence rather than positive impact.

Youth in free love have a radical thinking, so when looking at the problem they are more one-sided and subjective. Putting the ideal of love into marriage, and do not pay too much attention to the future. Moreover, in

order to enhance the attraction of each other, they are tempted to show up their own strengths and try to hide their shortcomings, thus, during the process of knowing each other, both sides only see the immediate benefits at the current moment and ignore the point that whether they can get used to the drawback of each other.

This gives some hidden dangers in later life. To some extent, people’s personalities are taken when they were born, perhaps they would like to improve some of their own character after getting married, but in fact this kind of desire does not necessarily achieve. Of course, these are all the common characteristics of young people. Thus, with considering a long-term and stable marriage, the choices of the parents are always correct.

Conclusion

In 21 century, no matter which form of marriage that young generation choose, the purpose is the pursuit of a perfect marriage. Although young people praise highly for supremacy of love, but pure love is not enough to carry two persons over lifetime. Besides the pursuit of true love, physical request takes up an increasingly amount during the process. If there is a relative well-matched background, marriage will be more firmly based. At the same time, the status of women in a marriage is enhancing continuously, they requires equality and do not want to be a victims behind men, they do not pay complete attention to and only busy with their husbands, children and family. Women need to be independent and selfworth, express their views in the society.

With against of tradition, quarrels and contradictions between couple cannot be avoided. Under the situation which two sides cannot compromise

to each other, inevitable break up will take place. Today, the divorce rate of the family which consisting of romantic marriage is much higher than arranged marriages, it is because too much emphasis on “freedom”, people are not longer take responsibilities to marriage. Compare with “freedom” and “arranged”, the latter is clearly more rational. The rational factor is undoubtedly an important guarantee for stable and lasting marriage.

Reference 

1. “Arranged Marriage – Advantages and Disadvantages”— By Kishore. January 18, 2009 Available at http://kish. in/love-marriage-and-arranged-marriageadvantages-and-disadvantages/ Accessed at 20-01-2011
2. “Arranged marriage versus love marriage” by Jameswalsh: Available at http://www. everyonesarticles. com/Article/ArrangedMarriages-versus-Love-Marriages/6042 Accessed at 20-01-2011
3. “The Benefits of Arranged Marriage” Aug 31, 2009 by Martin Bohn Available at http://www. suite101. com/content/the-benefits-of-having-anarranged-marriage-a1