As I gazed out of a sizeable window, I observed the light fading gradually into a brilliant, colorless gleam, encased inflexibly within the deepening shades of the room. My focus was intently fixed upon a leaf hanging from a branch, its stem snapped by the wind, leaving only the resilient green exterior supporting it in mid-air.
Reminded by the leaf, I realize I will never witness green trees shedding their leaves or be part of the tree again. In the distance, I gaze at evergreens that weathered a severe snowstorm, their branches shining under the twilight. Winter used to bring hope and warmth around the fireplace, but now solitude takes over. I recall my childhood memories of building snowmen and experiencing freshly fallen snow during a fall moon, realizing I may never experience them again. Naus
...eated by the smell of disinfectant, I reflect on my complicated future while contemplating past joyful Christmas moments spent with my family.
Although some believe that their conscience will catch up to them later in life, I am haunted not by my conscience, but by the many mistakes and wrong decisions I have made. If I could travel back in time, perhaps I wouldn't be here now, contemplating my future amidst a blanket of white snow. Despite this, I have fond memories of my carefree childhood, particularly during winter and Christmas. My mother loved everything about Christmas and always went all out, perhaps as a way to compensate for the poverty she experienced as a child. One particular Christmas stands out in my memory; chaos ensued with three teenage girls and a forgetful dad who went to the pub and
came back drunk. Despite the hectic atmosphere, Christmas always brought a unique joy and pleasant smells like nutmeg and other herbs to our home.
At bedtime, we were too excited for the next day to fall asleep. Mum regularly called for us to quiet down, growing angrier as time passed until she and Dad went to sleep. The next morning, we woke up to find our beds overflowing with the gifts we had set out the night before. We hastily tore off the wrapping paper, causing it to scatter everywhere.
My sister, a size 14 rugby player, received a surprising size 8 thong which she hilariously paraded around the room over her pyjamas in front of our parents. It was clear that drunken Dad had mixed up the stockings despite their argument over the mess. Our Christmas was filled with laughter and fun despite this mishap. Ironically, I now find myself alone in a small, cramped room with only a single bed, drawer and window every day - not how I imagined my life would be. If I could turn back time, I would. However, as winter slowly creeps in and ice patterns form on my window, my perspective shifts - my life isn't worthless but rather real.
Reflecting on how the birds migrate north for winter, leaving behind their homes and loved ones, I find myself doing the same and hoping the birds experience some remorse as I do. The snow, resembling a vast cotton wool mesh, glistens under the moon's glow. I long to frolic in it with a clear view of the full moon- an activity I enjoyed in my youth. Despite feeling the biting
cold, I prefer to move without additional layers. This sensation was never present in my younger days. Much like my thoughts, the branches sway back and forth.
While gazing at the branch, I observed a caterpillar moving towards a leaf and contemplated whether it would successfully reach its destination or fall onto the snowy ground below. Though I never found out the outcome, my thoughts were interrupted by a man's urgent voice, pleading against my infinite sadness. Emerging from behind the couch and appearing tall against the low ceiling, he was dressed entirely in white and looked ghostly and gaunt. This man reminded me of my initial summer visit, which has since led to more frequent and necessary visits culminating in my late autumn residence here.
My preferred season is winter, but it has exacerbated my illness. I am close to the end of my fight against cancer and feel deserted by my family whom I had distanced myself from in the past. A meager-looking nurse helps me move from the couch to my bed, and as I do so, I understand that this could potentially be the last instance for me to behold winter's splendor and appreciate God's marvels. Although what lies ahead may be arduous and demanding, reminiscing about a snowy night will persist with us all.
- Child essays
- Childcare essays
- Child labor essays
- Doll essays
- Adoption essays
- Aunt essays
- Babies essays
- Bedroom essays
- Caring essays
- Children essays
- Daughter essays
- Divorce essays
- Dog essays
- Dysfunctional Family essays
- Family Tradition essays
- Family Values essays
- Father essays
- Foster Care essays
- Friends essays
- Grandparent essays
- Home essays
- Hometown essays
- Husband essays
- Jealousy essays
- Love essays
- Marriage essays
- Mother essays
- Online Dating essays
- Parenting essays
- Parenting Teens essays
- Parents essays
- Relationship essays
- Room essays
- Sibling essays
- Sister essays
- Wedding essays
- Wife essays
- Beach essays
- Birthday essays
- Christmas essays
- Halloween essays
- Journey essays
- New Year essays
- Recreation essays
- Thanksgiving essays