This is the hardest letter that I have ever written. For once in my life, my head is so full of things I can't think straight. I feel like how you used to be WEAK. I hate it I want to be strong but at the moment I am feeling strangely vulnerable. I'm alone without you. I feel like you don't need me anymore.
I'm useless to you. You didn't need me when you went to the witches about Lady Macduff and you didn't need me to plot Banquo's death. I said that You must leave this but you didn't take any notice. I still love you and I hate you but I still love you. I'm not sure what I feel right now I am all confused.
I hated you when at the feast with all our guests and friends. Your mind pulled tricks on y
...ou and you claimed to see your dead friend. I was ashamed and embarrassed. I made excuses to the guests about your behavior but they wouldn't accept. You embarrassed me in front of everyone.
I had to sort you out. I told you, You have displaced the mirth, broke the good meeting with the most admired disorder. You deserved my wrath because you ruined the feast and nearly confessed to our sins. I love you still because I still remember the good times when we were close and our heads were full of ambition and dreams of being king and queen. I remember the joy I had when I received your letter about the prophecies made about you becoming king. I asked the spirits to unsex me so my feminine weakness would
not spoil our ambition because I knew what had to be done.
I had no doubt in my mind when I planned Duncan's death after reading the letter. I knew that you would back away from this so I had to push you and give you courage such as when I told you to leave the rest to me without this you would have been worried about the consequences and probably would have not done it. I bullied you to do want I wanted and I constantly insulted your masculinity and questioned your bravery to boost your courage as well. Now as a result my mind is full of things that I cannot explain. Images are sounds circling in my head.
I feel my feminine weakness is coming back. I am confused. I feel that I have written this letter again and again in a dream that I can't quite remember. My life is ending.
I cannot live with this confusion and sin. I tried to be brave and strong and I kept my pain inside me. It is like you and I have swapped. You were weak and I was strong. Now I think that I am weak and you have gained strength through my control of you.
I really need you to give me strength. I want to be strong and in control. I have always liked it that way and now I feel that I can never have it again. So what's the point of me living? I am useless.
My ambition has gone. I still love you deeply so if I end my life I give you life because I am holding you back. Our relationship
is long gone and in my present state I could easily slip up and then someone will find the truth about the murders. I will miss you and I will miss being Queen. I still don't know now if I regret the murders all not. I am not sure about anything but I am certain what I should do now.
So goodbye my love maybe I will see you again or maybe I will never see you whatever the outcome I will miss you.
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