Raising Feminist Boys in a Sexist World Essay Example

masculine behavior which has subconsciously resulting to sexism.

An argument that society raises is that young boys are to be raised knowing which activities and behaviors they can engage in and the ones that females cannot engage in. For instance, society has defined gender roles and particular things which are perceived to be feminine or masculine such as Barbie dolls are for girls while the engineered car toys are for boys.(Sax). Parent mold and contribute a big deal to how young boys and girls think and categorizing girls to be treated in a ‘special’ way makes boys think they are weaker hence they require constant protection. (King).

In the past two generations young bys understand that being a man is being respectful, courteous and emulating what their culture had taught them about competency. However, this is not the same case today, sexism had been rampart and its major course had been from the breakdown of societal rules and expectations of the male and female gender roles. In fact boys interpret being a man as being able to work against girls ad shut them out in what they term as masculine activities and sports. As a result, the society has failed in teaching young boys the real meaning of being a man hence they are disengaged from the real world and result in looking down on girls who can do better as a particular sport or activity than they can. Due to such treatment by the society, boys end up being sexist in their school and workplace as they no longer respect their female counterparts. (Sax).

Another way that society has contributed to raising sexist boys is through its

demands for boys to be strong at all times, never break down r display any form of emotion. As girls are allowed to break down and seek for support from boys, they end up with a notion that girls cannot do anything by themselves. Surprisingly, the society has made playing football a male thing while girls are to sit on the sidelines and cheer boys. As boys watch the girls cheer, they are forced to form an idealized version of femininity and see girls as lesser beings because they can only cheer but not play football. But who is to say that a boy cannot cheer as well as a girl or a girl cannot play football just as much as the boy? The decisions of social interaction within the society have shackled young men’s way of thinking and giving them that freedom will allow for a less sexist society. (King).

Both boys and girls should be brought up in a way that encourages them to see each other as equal human beings. For instance if a boys does not want to play football, the societal expectations and parents’ decision should not affect his choices. Similarly, if a girl can play football, then she should be able to do that without being discriminated for being female. Additionally, the challenge of raising sexist sons is evident in schools whereby the girl-child is always given priorities and opportunities to shine in all ventures. With all the concentration going into the girl-child, the boy-child is left hanging without much help and yet expected to succeed on his own. With the closing gaps in colleges and other institutions, young men

view women as being favored by society hence they do not respect them. (Sommers).

In colleges, girls shine in both reading and writing contests while boys are left to catch up as they can only read materials that interest them. That means that boys are not getting enough support to enable them pursue their education as much as girls are hence creating a gap between both sexes. Additionally, boys get disapproval for their choices such as their interest in science fiction rather than a literature story and as a result they are disengaged from the society which is constantly beating them down. Working with young boys can result to a better skill set in dealing with real life issues, addressing their female counterparts who excel in things that they do not excel in. The lack of equity in school, colleges and other institutions may have contributed a major deal to raising sexist sons. (Sommers).

Talking about sexism at an early age with young boys and girls may give them a better understanding of the society and the concept of equity and gender roles. Kate Lombardi gives an example of two scenarios whereby parents can bring u the topic of sexism with their children. In her first scenario Lombardi explains how she was watching a football game with her son and the camera man focused on a cheerleader’s bouncing breasts rather than her skills as a cheerleader. In her second scenario, she explains how her daughter comes home shocked about a boy who wanted to join the girl’s hockey tea and was forced to wear a skirt so as to fit in. In the scenarios, feminism and sexism

is evident as the media has focused on the women’s femininity rather than her skills. Similarly, pornography and video games degrade women as sexual tools and toys. Women are displayed as fragile and sensitive beings that are defined by their physical traits rather than their skills. But who is to say that women cannot strike a football as hard as the male counterpart or that a man cannot join a hockey team and excel in it? Such questions need to be answered in order to change the perception of feminism and masculinity. (Lombardi).

Similarly, Lombardi’ second scenario, there is a debate on whether it is okay for women to step on men as they reach their potential. The culture that women cannot reach their potential if there is a constant huddle from boys bringing them down is also damaging men. The boy who was wearing a hockey skirt and joining a girls hockey team was mocked instead of being applauded for breaking the gender barrier. While the girl child faces pushback as she grows, the boy child is facing a tougher time breaking barriers since society does not favor them as much as they do girls. Sexism cannot end if the society does not start facing the equality of the situation and encouraging equality for both men and women hence full respect for each other. Raising our daughters expectations within the society is no longer enough as it has obscured the inclusion of boys in having equal opportunities. (Lombardi).

While the debate or whether or not parents are raising sexist sons, there are early red flags that can help determine whether a young boy’s mind has already

been corrupt by the stereotypic notion of women being a lesser sex that always needs help. For instance, if a child starts thinking a girl is weak and is incapable of doing something because of her gender, then that is a red flag. The perception of that young boy is that gender determined capabilities and strength which I not true. Also, emotions are important in all humans and encouraging teaching the boy child that it is okay to break down and cry will help them have a better understanding that boys can cry too. Teaching bys to understand that crying is not a weakness and that girls are not the only ones who cry and express their emotions will change the mindset of sexism at a young age. (Liopetriti).

The notion of “boys will be boys” should be erased from these young boys’ minds as they will grow thinking treating a woman in a rude way shows you like the. Additionally, the society has categorized the type of behaviors to expect from boys and girls hence building a gap between the two. For instance, if a boy gets angry and he is aggressive and violent, it is termed as normal but if a woman does the same then it is criticized as ‘acting out’ and lacking respect. This leads to a categorization that allows men to have social freedom while the girl child is shunned from such behavior. Teaching young boys to take responsibility at an early age just as we do for girls, will give them equal chances f growth, maturity and success in life. The culture of blaming women for the negative actions of

men starts from an early age when a boy blames young girls for getting in trouble. Addressing the problem head-on will reduce chances of a boy growing into a sexist. (Liopetriti)

Let children be children. Why do toys have to be defined as being for girls or for boys when they are all young minds? Addressing the questions of allowing boys to wear pink just as girls and letting girls play with toy car will lead to an open-minded individuals who are not quick to judge on the basis of gender. The sexist tendencies start from what parents tell their children to do and what not to do and denying a child a toy or wearing a certain color because of his or her gender can cause sexism problem in the future. The mentality that boys should do be strong and strong all the time while girls are to be weak, sensitive and caretakers in the society should be broken down for an open-minded society that allows children to be independent thinkers. Providing equal guidance to both genders can change the behavioral conformities within the society today. (O'Reilly, 95-101).

Helping young boys understand what it means to be masculine and showing inclusivity in all activities has been a challenge that contributes to sexism. Perceptions such as a girl playing superhero and a boy dressing up as a female character during Halloween should be acceptable and normal behaviors of young children. Lack of such guidance corrupts the young people’s way of thinking and results in a sexist society. Children should also be taught that their mother can go to business trips and work late as their father does

the cooking and laundry. With such a display of equity within their environment, bys will grow knowing that there is not specific activity termed as girly or manly as gender does not determine capabilities and strength. Denying a child a chance to do something based on nothing other than their gender is purely sexist and promotes inequality within the society. (Saujani).

Although there is pretty of evidence that boys are being raised to be sexist within our society, there is supporting evidence of why this is happening. The main cause is feminism and the existence of over empowerment of women while excluding the boy-child. Feminism has encouraged young girls to want to be better than boys rather than encourage equality on both genders. According to societal standards, women are vulnerable and fragile hence men are victims f violence, casual crimes and political genocides. In most justice systems, men and judged harshly with longer sentences and punishments compared to women. (Benatar 33). According to Christina Hoff Sommers’ argument, statics show that women are enrolling in higher education more than men because they feel less connected t education or wanting to learn. This is mainly because the women are encouraged to read and be independent while men are excluded but still expected to succeed in being independent and not ask for help. (Sommers).

In conclusion, raising sexist boys is as a result of failure in the society and its expectations and standards for boys. Detecting early red flags such as boys thinking women and weak because of their gender can help reduce the chances of raising a sexist boy. Having an open-minded society that supports equality rather than exclusivity

can also promote equality between men and women. Parents contribute a great deal in molding the minds of young boys and teaching them to break masculinity and femininity barriers will promote an open-minded society free from traditional values and standards. Embracing individuality in young boys and teaching them to respect women will reduce sexism. Additionally, giving equal opportunities and including boys in education forums will promote equality in schools and respect for each other.

Work Cited

1. Benatar, David. The Second Sexism. 1st ed. Malden, MA: Wiley-Blackwell, 2012. Print.
2. King, Tim. "Encourage Boys To Embrace Individuality, So They Can Respect It In Others - Nytimes.Com". Nytimes.com. N.p., 2015.
3. Liopetriti, Anastasia. "Sexist Behaviors Are First Developed During Childhood". funifi.com. N.p., 2015.
4. Lombardi, Kate. "Moms, And Dads, Need To Talk About Sexism - Nytimes.Com". Nytimes.com. N.p., 2015.
5. O'Reilly, Andrea. Mothers & Sons. 1st ed. New York: Routledge, 2001. Print.
6. Saujani, Reshma. "Model And Show Inclusivity To Help Boys Be More Accepting Of Themselves - Nytimes.Com". Nytimes.com. N.p., 2015.
7. Sax, Leonard. "Many Boys Today Define Masculinity Negatively - Nytimes.Com". Nytimes.com. N.p., 2015.
8. Sommers, Christina Hoff. "Work With Boys — Not Against Their Nature - Nytimes.Com". Nytimes.com. N.p., 2015.
9. Utterback, Scott. "Do We Need To Change The Way We Raise Boys? - Room For Debate - Nytimes.Com". Nytimes.com. N.p., 2015.