The phenomenon of Tom-boyish lesbians rarely dating one another can be explained by various factors. Tomboyish lesbians are girls who display behaviors and style that are typically associated with boys (Hall, 2008). This refers to their gestures, clothing choices, and other similar traits. It is important to note that being a tomboy is related to gender roles and expression, rather than a person's biological sex.
In a study by Hall (2008), it was found that tomboys may not necessarily be lesbians. Instead, they simply prefer to dress and participate in activities traditionally associated with boys. In my personal observations, it is common for tomboys to date attractive girls, rather than other tomboys. This phenomenon can be explained by the presence of the superego, which acts as a judgement or censor for one's thoughts (Coon & Mitterer, 2010).
...The superego of tomboys may originate from their father during childhood. Fathers often teach them how to behave, and tomboys learn that imitating their fathers can make others follow them. Additionally, girls experience penis envy, which leads them to admire the power fathers possess and pretend to be boys as a way of compensating for this envy. By imagining having a penis, tomboys believe they possess power and can exert control over others.
When girls experience penis envy, it signifies a lack of power. However, it is important to acknowledge that girls biologically cannot possess a penis. Consequently, some girls may opt to adopt a tomboy persona in order to emulate boys and gain a perceived sense of control, as being controlled by others can feel unnerving.
Someone may be monitoring and controlling you, and in order to become a tomboy, one
may need to overcome the remnants of childhood. This is because childhood experiences can have an impact on gender development and interpersonal relationships. Additionally, our understanding of gender is not learned but rather acquired through early experiences. Based on Freud's stages of psychosexual development (Kipp & Shaffer, 2010), during the phallic stage, children develop a desire for their opposite-sex parent.
The Electra complex is the term used for girls when they experience a conflict and anxiety as they learn their parents' sex-role expectations. If children become fixated at this stage, they may encounter gender-related issues. For instance, girls may become tomboys as they struggle to understand their role as girls. In certain cases, such as single-parent families where the father figure is absent, if another person can fulfill the father's role, children can develop normally. However, if the absence of a father figure cannot be compensated for, children may struggle to grasp societal norms and even broader concepts. Without guidance, they may develop unconventional ideas.
Children's development entails acquiring various concepts, including gender. Yet, excessive immersion in their own world can result in challenges. Some individuals I know who were tomboys grew up in single-parent households, and it is conceivable that they became fixated on the times when one parent was not present. Due to their parents needing to work to sustain the family, these children had to handle household responsibilities independently. This encounter instilled resilience and independence in them, similar to boys. Furthermore, they also appreciate receiving attention from others.
Two tomboys coming together want to assert their strength and abilities, leading to a competition fueled by their powerful control. Additionally, during the phallic stage, children learn
from the father figure, often associated with a superman image. They perceive their fathers as powerful since they can bring their mothers closer to them, which may lead to a desire to replace their fathers. Thus, the father becomes an opponent to these girls who refuse to accept their feminine identities and harbor thoughts of replacing their fathers.
The tomboys have a strong sense of penis envy. They believe they are capable of performing tasks traditionally associated with fathers, such as caring for children and engaging in masculine activities. They feel they should assume the role of a father. Moreover, a tomboy believes she possesses a metaphorical "penis" that grants her power. If another tomboy enters the picture, she may feel threatened by her presence. This stems from the idea that "tomboys have penises," and one tomboy feels that the other is taking control of the power dynamics in their environment.
Thus, conflicts and contradictions may arise, resulting in both tomboys realizing that they are not boys nor do they possess a penis. This realization means that they lack the power to control situations, which may cause feelings of depression and uncertainty on how to cope with it. Ultimately, they will reject one another.
Reference
- Coon, D. , & Mitterer, J. O. (2010). Introduction to psychology: Gateways to mind and behavior (12th ed.)
)
Tomboys: Meanings, marginalization, and misunderstandings. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 29, 555-565. Kipp, K., & Shaffer, D. R. (2010).
Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence (8th ed.) Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
- Home essays
- Dog essays
- Adoption essays
- Babies essays
- Children essays
- Love essays
- Parenting Teens essays
- Wedding essays
- Wife essays
- Aunt essays
- Daughter essays
- Parents essays
- Sister essays
- Foster Care essays
- Sibling essays
- Father essays
- Grandparent essays
- Mother essays
- Caring essays
- Dysfunctional Family essays
- Bedroom essays
- Room essays
- Relationship essays
- Jealousy essays
- Friends essays
- Online Dating essays
- Divorce essays
- Husband essays
- Marriage essays
- Hometown essays
- Parenting essays
- Family Tradition essays
- Family Values essays
- Baby Clothes essays
- Child essays
- Childcare essays
- Child labor essays
- Doll essays
- Walls essays
- Appreciation essays
- Single Parent essays
- Single Parenting essays
- Adaptation essays
- Adventure essays
- Adversity essays
- Aging essays
- Alcohol essays
- Barbie Doll essays
- Beauty essays
- Care essays