How to Make Lemonade When Life Gives You Lemons – Single Parenting Essay Example
How to Make Lemonade When Life Gives You Lemons – Single Parenting Essay Example

How to Make Lemonade When Life Gives You Lemons – Single Parenting Essay Example

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  • Pages: 5 (1317 words)
  • Published: December 2, 2017
  • Type: Research Paper
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Single parent families can arise from a range of factors, such as divorce, separation, death, adoption, or living apart while married. Regardless of the reason, data indicates a decrease in the percentage of children raised by two parents across various ethnic and racial groups. In the United States alone, there are over 16 million single parent families comprising more than 12 million households led by females and four million headed by males.

Around 20 million children under the age of 18 in the United States lived with only one parent, which accounted for approximately 28% of all children. In 1997, the percentage of unmarried women giving birth was responsible for this number being at 32%. Of these children, roughly 84% resided with their mother alone. Moreover, more than half (56%) of households headed by a single pa

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rent did not have any other adults living there. Currently, there are an estimated 11.9 million single parents in the United States; around nine million of them are single mothers.

In 1998, there was a 25% increase in the population of single fathers, which reached a total of 2.1 million. Meanwhile, the number of single mothers remained stable at 8 million. Single men make up one-sixth of all single parents in the country. Out of children who live with only one parent, 38% lived with a divorced parent, while 35% lived with a never-married parent and another 19% lived with a separated parent. Only 4% each lived with either an absent spouse due to business or other reasons or a widowed parent.

Of the 14.5 million single-parent children in metropolitan areas, most reside (9.2 million) in cities with a population exceeding

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1 million. Although confronting diverse obstacles (refer to resource #4), single parents also encounter common situations. The primary differentiation between single and dual parenting is the way in which the parent interacts with their offspring.

Dual-parent families typically collaborate on household management decisions, while single-parent households often involve children in decision-making. In the absence of another adult, young ones in such households may assume added responsibilities and duties at a young age. The single parent assumes most of the responsibility and authority and must work diligently to fulfill both emotional and financial parental roles. Being a mother and father to a child is challenging daily as well as long-term, which can be stressful.

Children may encounter various issues such as having less time for socializing or playing due to added responsibilities. Additionally, they could face conflicts with authority figures like teachers or grandparents who require unquestioning obedience. Being emotionally closer to the single parent can result in jealousy towards their friends and relationships, leading to a dilemma between their parents. The child might love both parents equally but feel compelled to pick a side or miss the presence of one parent. For more details, refer to resources #21, #22, and #26.

On the other hand, single parents may experience challenges like their absence making children offer them more affection and respect than the resident parent. Moreover, when not around, kids are prone to misbehave under these circumstances.

Being the only disciplinarian in the household can be a challenging responsibility, leading to feelings of being constantly portrayed as the "bad guy" (as referenced in resource #9). Single parents often experience sadness when their children admire families with two parents. This

may result in loneliness and anti-social behavior for both parent and child due to insufficient time or motivation for new relationships. Furthermore, juggling work responsibilities while taking on both maternal and paternal roles leaves little room for single parents to take care of themselves, which can cause custody battles and non-custody parents to engage in conflicts.

When parents separate, one may attempt to limit the other's rights while increasing their own financial or custody responsibilities. This can involve interrogating the child about the other parent, inducing guilt for spending time with them, causing stress during exchanges, and being rude when they cross paths. Such conflicts have a negative impact on children and can make non-custodial parents feel unimportant. However, children from single-parent households who receive love and support experience no more challenges than those from two-parent households. Single parents often possess a better understanding of their child's emotional, physical, educational, nutritional, interpersonal, spiritual and individual needs due to their heightened sense of responsibility. Furthermore, the bond between parent and child is frequently stronger in single-parent families (See resources #14,#15,#16,#17,#18,#19).

Resource #27 explains that the appropriate management of a child's leisure time relies on discipline, family routine, and quality parent-child bonding time. This is relevant for families with both single and dual parents (as stated in Resource #25). Furthermore, the parent usually demonstrates self-reliance and assurance while the child exhibits accountability and growth. In summary, there is a profound connection between parent and child.

Single-parent families tend to deviate from traditional gender roles in comparison to two-parent households, as indicated by the use of positive parenting methods being more common among single fathers than married fathers. Furthermore, when faced

with challenging child behaviors, single parents tend to prefer constructive problem-solving techniques over punitive discipline (see resources #8, 12, 13). Effective communication is crucial for successful single parenting and can benefit both parents and offspring if they collaborate and focus on their children's best interests (refer to resources #20, 24, 28). Single-parent households often develop stronger bonds between family members due to sharing the challenges and joys of creating cherished memories together.

(See resources # 11, 23) The rights of a child/children whose parents are divorced (or experiencing any other loss of a parent) are well-expressed by Lois V. Nightingale, Ph.D., a Clinical Psychologist in her book "My Parents Still Love Me Even Though They're Getting Divorced" (see resource #3). If these rights are not only written but also enforced, the negative effects of divorce can be reduced or eliminated, resulting in a healthy and happy child and single parent.

In the article "Confronting the Myths of Single Parenting," psychotherapist Loanda Cullen challenges common misconceptions about being a single parent. Despite the difficulties, single parents can overcome these myths and find empowerment in reality. A study at Cornell University discovered that having a single parent does not negatively impact the behavior or academic success of children between 12-13 years old. Researcher Henry Ricciuti emphasizes factors such as maternal education, skill level, family income, and home environment as crucial determinants. (Resource #5 provides more information.)

Single parents may often find that they possess greater potential and hidden abilities than anticipated. This self-discovery fosters independence and a decreased reliance on others for survival. They learn that inner peace and contentment cannot rely on external factors. The demands of visitation, receiving

financial support for the child, agreeing upon joint custody, and managing power dynamics can create obstacles for single parents. Those fortunate enough to resolve conflicts amicably can experience smoother lifestyles not only for themselves but for their children as well. (Referenced in resource #7)

Although difficult, challenges offer opportunities for personal growth and development. Instead of viewing them as impossible obstacles, individuals can choose to overcome them. For children raised in single-parent households, these challenges provide valuable life skills such as caring for younger siblings and helping with household responsibilities. These experiences help accelerate their maturity compared to peers from two-parent homes where everything is taken care of for them. Furthermore, children from single-parent homes may develop self-reliance, problem-solving abilities, and a sense of accountability for their actions while learning how to make the best out of challenging situations and realizing that life is not always fair. In addition, they benefit from spending quality time with each parent separately—an advantage unavailable to traditional family counterparts due to parents' work obligations.

Help your kids learn important life lessons about love, respect, and getting along with others. Encourage them to treasure each moment and value their blessings instead of dwelling on things they can't change. Teach them to learn from experiences and turn challenges into chances for personal development.

It is essential to display positive conduct for children to emulate since they learn through imitation. Don't forget this!

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