Sibling Rivalry Essay Example

preferences, talents or even political ideologies. Learning to navigate these differences fosters understanding, empathy and reconciliation.

Failing to address sibling rivalry could lead to destructive family disputes, detrimental social environments, and might even escalate into violence or disaster. The conflict between siblings is a perennial issue that has been present since biblical times. This is evident in the story of Cain and Abel from the earliest recognized book of Western civilization; exemplifying this concern. The resentment Cain harbored towards his responsibility for his younger brother eventually drove him to kill Abel, making it the first known murder in history. This age-old tale underscores the deep-seated nature of sibling rivalry within Jewish culture. The root cause of such problems can be linked to competition over limited resources, similar to certain circumstances observed in nature.

In nature, competition usually occurs for food. When two individuals or species consume the same type of food in the same area or habitat, they will engage in fights until one of them successfully kills or displaces the other. This leaves the winner as the sole user of the food resources in that area. Nature also presents extreme cases of sibling rivalry. For instance, as baby sharks develop inside their mother's womb, the largest baby shark consumes all of its siblings, guaranteeing itself all the available food resources.

In a different example, eagles construct their nests at significant altitudes, either in mountains or trees. The initial eaglet, once born, eliminates all its sibling eaglets by forcing them out of the nest as they hatch from their eggs. This guarantees that all the food brought by the mother eagle will

solely be for the dominant eaglet. As stated by Cohen (2000), "Sibling rivalry is an inherent aspect of life. It did not arise as a consequence of mankind's separation from God. Both Cain and Abel yearned for acceptance, acknowledgement, and admiration from God and their parents. They engaged in a competition based on their sacrificial offerings. This yearning for attention and approval was not inherently malevolent."

Cain's murder of his brother resulted from his feelings of rejection. His choice to act on his resentful and jealous emotions allowed evil to prevail. However, the resolution of such feelings is possible, as evidenced by the story of Esau and Jacob. Jacob was able to win back his brother's affection upon his return to Harare.
It is natural for our children to desire our attention and love, as these desires are instilled by God. The true challenge for a parent lies not in eliminating rivalry between siblings, but in maintaining a healthy and constructive balance.
(Source: http://www. tparents. org/Library/Unification/Books/RCOP/). 5 Causes of Sibling Rivalry

Envy, an intrinsic human emotion, impacts individuals of all ages and situations. This sentiment arises when we harbor feelings of resentment towards a sibling for having or achieving something we don't possess, coupled with self-annoyance for our inability to acquire the same. Frequently, our immediate response is to enter into a dispute with our siblings as a way of expressing suppressed anger and frustration; however, it's worth noting that this typically worsens the circumstances. A toddler or preschooler feeling envious upon welcoming a new baby in the family is quite normal.

Sibling rivalry, especially in cases where the older one feels that their

younger siblings are favoured, can foster long-lasting jealousy. This often leads to a recurring pattern of envy and outbursts. The birth of a new child can further intensify these emotions as children may fear they will lose their parents' attention and feel overlooked. Furthermore, resentment might arise amongst siblings if an older sibling receives more advantages than the younger ones.

WebMD suggests that numerous elements can trigger envy among siblings, leading to sibling rivalry (http://www. webmd. com/parenting/guide/sibling-rivalry). The evolving needs, fears, and self-identities of children inevitably impact their interrelationships. For example, toddlers are often protective over their playthings and personal items as they begin to assert themselves. Therefore, if a younger sibling takes a toy owned by the toddler, it may provoke an aggressive reaction from the older child.

School-aged kids might have a firm grasp on fairness and equality, which could lead to misunderstanding when they perceive differential treatment between siblings of varying ages or apparent favoritism. On the other hand, teenagers are navigating their journey towards self-identity and autonomy, which could cause frustration when tasked with domestic duties, looking after younger siblings, or during family time. These differing viewpoints can influence how children engage in disputes with one another (source: http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/sibling_rivalry). The distinct temperaments of each child is another element that can shape sibling rivalry.

The way your kids' individual temperaments, mood, disposition, and adaptability, as well as their unique personalities, interact with each other greatly affects their level of harmony. For instance, if one child is calm and another is easily agitated, they may frequently clash. Similarly, if a child is overly attached to parents and seeks comfort and

love, their siblings may feel resentful because they desire the same attention. According to (http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/sibling_rivalry), role models play an important role in resolving problems and disagreements between siblings.

The manner in which parents address conflicts - with respect, effectiveness, and non-aggression - can greatly influence the conflict-resolution methods adopted by their children. Children are more likely to mimic their parents' behavior, thus if they observe shouting, door slamming or loud arguments during disputes, they may replicate these negative actions. As stated on WebMD, being a positive role model is key in teaching kids how to healthily manage conflicts (http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sibling-rivalry). In other instances, adults might unintentionally draw comparisons between siblings that can create resentment and frustration. Persistent comparison could foster harmful habits and behaviors like low academic achievement or messiness. It's important to acknowledge that each child is distinct and should not be benchmarked against their siblings. Siblings might have varying tastes in food and books or different skills; hence it's natural for them to excel in different aspects. Every child has the right to be recognized and assessed individually instead of merely relative to their siblings.

Instead of comparing them, it is important to give each child in the family their own goals and levels of expectation that are specific to them. It is not advisable to dismiss or suppress your children's resentment or angry feelings. Many people mistakenly believe that anger should be completely avoided. (Source: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sibriv). Children always yearn for their parents' attention and approval. The busier the parents are, the more the children strive for their attention, resulting in less focus on each individual child.

Welcoming a new infant to the

family can occasionally be challenging for existing children who may find it difficult to adjust to not being the main focus anymore. This could similarly happen when parents have to give more time and attention towards a child suffering from an illness or special needs, such as learning disabilities. Under these circumstances, children might exhibit disruptive behavior in an attempt to recapture some of the diverted attention if they feel overlooked. Affection, unlike tangible necessities like food, should never be in short supply. The ideal scenario is for adults to extend unlimited affection towards their dependents. Nonetheless, what truly counts is not just the quantity but also the way this love is conveyed.

The two primary methods for a parent or guardian to express affection towards a child are by giving ATTENTION: dedicating quality and quantity time, and APPROVAL: expressing appreciation and admiration for the child's deeds. This can be conveyed through commendations or by bestowing gifts like toys, clothes, money, or granting special privileges. Each child has unique needs; hence adults might offer varied forms of attention and approval to each sibling. Nonetheless, favoritism could harm relationships between siblings leading to competition. Certain genetic factors may sway parents to prefer one offspring over others, akin to Jacob's story in the Old Testament. Even with attempts made by parents not to exhibit favoritism, children can quickly perceive who is the preferred one causing feelings of rivalry.

When our parents seemingly favor our siblings, it could lead us to believe they love them more, particularly if we're already questioning their affection towards us. It's often simpler to channel our resentment towards a sibling rather

than an adult, so while on the surface we may seem upset with our siblings for getting superior treatment, at the core of it all we're actually frustrated with our parents due to perceived biased behavior. Sometimes what looks like favoritism is just an expression of love and acknowledgement (source: http://www. webmd. com/parenting/guide/sibling-rivalry). Justice and Equality

The concepts "equal" and "fair" are notably different. Parents can't possibly treat each child with total equality, nor should they strive to. The reason why parents treat us differently is because we are unique individuals. For instance, your sister may get an extra serving of ice cream because she needs to put on some weight, while your brother might be given an additional pair of shoes because he tends to wear his out faster. Each child has distinctive needs and wants, the crucial thing is that your family aims to give fair treatment. If you believe this isn’t happening, it's essential to voice your feelings with a trusted adult.

Children often exhibit behaviours akin to attorneys, continually advocating for fairness, equality, and what they see as their inherent rights. For instance, a younger sister may voice her displeasure at being left behind while her elder sibling is permitted to attend a concert. Conversely, the elder sister could grumble about having to babysit instead of socializing with friends. These perceived injustices and sibling envy can breed bitterness. As per an article on webmd.com, such sibling disputes can escalate into physical altercations resulting in self-inflicted or mutual injuries.

In situations where serious issues arise among siblings or when such scenarios are foreseen, it's beneficial to contemplate family therapy.

Working together with a family therapist or counsellor can assist in reducing the adverse impacts of sibling rivalry, while also lessening its frequency and severity. (http://www. thelaboroflove. com). Sibling competition can furthermore affect a child's self-view, commonly ignited by jealousy due to one child feeling the other receives an unfair amount of time, attention, or even love.

Sibling competition can lead to a child feeling less cherished or important than their sibling. Mitigating these adverse outcomes requires making sure each child feels valued, their necessities are fulfilled, and they receive personalized care and focus. A possible downside of sibling rivalry is the escalation of household strain, which results in stress for children as well as parents.

The influence of sibling rivalry can greatly affect not only the siblings involved in disagreements and fights but others as well, notwithstanding their level of participation. It might also pose adverse effects on a couple's relationship when parents are pulled into these arguments, leading to favoritism. To lessen such harmful impacts of sibling competition on marital stability, maintaining an open dialogue with your partner and demonstrating solidarity is essential.

According to thelaboroflove.com, distractions can have a harmful impact on marital life. When dealing with sibling rivalry, it is crucial not to set siblings against each other in comparison. Rather, concentrate on addressing individual behavioral problems and clearly communicate your standards along with preferences and aversions. It is advisable to avoid mentioning their siblings in these discussions as even seemingly positive comparisons might result in negative outcomes. Such comparisons may inadvertently devalue one child while imposing excessive pressure on the other to achieve a specific

standard of excellence, as reinforced by parenting.co.help.

It is generally advised to steer clear of interjecting in conflicts, except when there is an imminent threat of physical harm. Constantly stepping in could lead to complicated situations where children begin to depend on your intervention for problem-solving rather than learning how to manage themselves. This might inadvertently give the impression that one child always gets special protection, which can breed resentment among siblings. Likewise, children who are often rescued may cultivate the belief they can behave badly knowing they will be protected by a parent.

Addressing issues of improper language or derogatory names is crucial and can be achieved by guiding kids to express their emotions using suitable words. This method, unlike intervention or separation, aims at motivating children to handle disagreements independently. However, there might be instances when stepping in becomes necessary. In such situations, it's vital to collaborate with the kids in finding a resolution rather than resolving their disputes for them (Source: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/building_relationships/sibling_rivalry). Moreover, it's advisable that each parent carves out individual "alone time" with every child on a regular basis if feasible.

Endeavor to allocate a few moments each day for your offspring, even if it's merely 10 minutes. This brief duration of undisturbed one-on-one interaction can have a significant impact. During these intervals, inspire your child to express what they appreciate about their brother or sister and converse about any behaviors that could irritate or upset them. These dialogues enable you to manage their rapport and emphasize the positive feelings they both possess.

Devote time to genuinely understanding your children's emotions regarding the family dynamics. Demonstrating

concern for their feelings can potentially lessen their demands. Acknowledge and value the distinctive traits each of your dozen kids possess, ensuring they know they are cherished individually (http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics). Facilitate your children in mastering negotiation and compromise skills. Educate them on conflict resolution methods that meet both parties' needs. Initiate this by asking them to replace yelling with articulating their emotions. Provide every child a chance to voice out their viewpoints. Listen attentively without making any judgement.

The initial step in settling disputes between siblings involves comprehending the problem and encouraging your kids to develop a solution that is acceptable to all. If they can't come up with one, you might propose an idea. For instance, if the conflict revolves around a new video game, creating a timetable assigning specific gaming hours for each child could be considered (Source: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sibling-rivalry?page=2). It's crucial to establish rules which must be adhered by all your children, this includes prohibiting physical aggression, disrespect or harming each other's possessions.

It's important to engage your children in the process of creating and implementing rules, for instance, determining that a punishment for hitting could be losing TV time for an evening. This type of involvement empowers them by giving them some control over their own lives. Make sure to acknowledge your children when they adhere to these rules. Conducting weekly family gatherings allows everyone to address and rectify any problems as a collective unit. The support from the community is especially beneficial for families dealing with social or environmental crises, as it can interrupt a pattern of ongoing issues. Communities have the capacity to aid by incorporating discussions around socio-emotional

growth, parental roles and child upbringing into educational programs such as family life or social studies classes. Source: WebMD

Throughout the initial steps of an individual's educational path, it is essential to introduce basic and all-encompassing theories, gradually shifting into detailed debates about causes and results for high school scholars. (http://www.yrshr.org). A workshop was held focusing on Erikson's Socio-Developmental Stages (1956), in which the "eight stages of man," or eight periods of human growth were thoroughly examined. Erikson formulated these phases based on his broad experience in psychotherapy, dealing with children and adolescents from a wide range of social contexts.

Erikson's theory of psychosocial development proposes that each developmental stage is a "psychosocial crisis" requiring successful resolution before proceeding to the next. This concept aligns with an architectural principle emphasizing the importance of a strong foundation for supporting subsequent layers of a structure. Similarly, effectively managing every crisis is crucial for advancing through future stages. The community plays a significant role in alleviating parental difficulties such as sibling competition, especially vital for families dealing with traumas from natural or societal catastrophes. Furthermore, interrupting the ongoing cycle of generational problems due to lack of awareness also constitutes an essential aspect of the community's responsibility. (Source: http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/erickson.shtml) | 14

Communities can contribute to addressing this issue by incorporating the previously mentioned ideas into elementary and high school curricula. These concepts can be taught in subjects like Education for Family Life or Social Studies. Starting from early grades, basic and broad concepts can be introduced, gradually progressing to more in-depth discussions on causes and effects for high school students. While sex education is

vital, it alone is not enough to prepare individuals for future family life. Hence, it is advisable to include these concepts in compulsory counseling sessions or courses for couples seeking marriage licenses.

The concepts discussed in counseling sessions or courses for pregnant or recently postpartum women, including those who are not married, could also be incorporated. These courses could be part of pre- or postnatal social or medical support and should ideally be evaluated. Successful completion could warrant a small reward, possibly monetary. (Source: http://www.solutionsforchildproblems.com/sibling-fighting.html) One suggested activity is conducting a Family Day, as research suggests that challenging times can bring families closer and unite them towards a common goal.

Family day is a special occasion set aside for significant engagement among family members. It entails participating in various activities or a substantial enjoyable task. Quality time spent with the family leads to benefits such as enhanced communication, solidified familial ties, and cultivation of mutual regard. Children also establish more robust relationships and stronger bonds with their relatives. This strengthens their appreciation for one another and minimizes chances of causing harm to each other. (Source: http://houston.cbslocal.com/2011/10/26/the-importance-of-family-bonding-time/) To sum up, though sibling rivalry can generate specific pressures, successful navigation through these issues can offer useful resources for future situations. Siblings acquire skills like sharing, handling jealousy, recognizing individual strengths and weaknesses. Nevertheless, if the competition becomes the primary focus to an extent where one's self-esteem and parental validation hinge on outperforming a sibling, it may result in distress.

Persistent rivalry, especially among people who should demonstrate mutual love, aid and support can be harmful and lead to enduring problems.16References A.

Electronic Referencehttp://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/sibling_rivalry.htmlhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibling_rivalryhttp://childdevelopmentinfo.com/parenting/sibling_rivalry.shtmlhttp://www.angelfire.com/md/imsystem/sibriv1.htmlhttp://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sibriv.htmhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-1290633/What-happens-sibling-rivalry-turns-adult-envy.tmlhttp://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199301/adult-sibling-rivalryhttp://pbskids.org/itsmylife/family/sibrivalry/index.htmlhttp://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sibling-rivalryhttp://www.empoweringparents.com/category-Sibling-Rivalry.php#http://www.google.com.ph/search?q=rivalry.&oq=rivalry.&sugexp=chrome,mod=18&sourceid=chrome&ieF-8 http://www.parenting.com/article/dealing-sibling-rivalryhttp://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/apr/07/sibling-rivalry-good-for-childrenhttp://online.wsj.om/article/SB10001424052702304724404577291432292777576.html http:/ / www.sylviarimm.com/article_sibcomp.html 17 http:/ / www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/negative-effects-of-sibling-rivarly.http:/ / www.ehow .com/info_8764760_effects-siblings-riverly-grown-up .html http:/ / childdevelopmentinfo .com/chil-development.erickson.shtml | | | | 1 The growth and influence of Siblings Rivals: The primary focus is that sibling fights over minor issues often escalate into bigger disputes.
It is underscored that the recovery period for the emotional harm caused to one another may be extended.