Comparing the Polygamous Marriges in so Long a Letter Essay Example

they can genuinely consider a friend. Even as they grew older and their lives evolved in similar ways, experiencing the conflicts and resolutions of married life, Ramatoulaye and Aissatou led remarkably parallel lives. Both women desired to marry for love but were hindered by tradition.

In So Long a Letter, Aissatou is compelled to follow her husband's mother's directions due to the toll that the challenges of life have taken on her. On the other hand, Ramatoulaye's husband manipulates Islamic laws to satisfy his desires stemming from a mid-life crisis. This novel explores three distinct polygamous marriages, each with differing motivations for entering into such unions. The co-wives also have varying experiences, and ultimately, the wives arrive at different decisions.

In her novel, Mariama B¤ strongly opposes polygamy. However, the variations within these polygamous marriages provide valuable insight into Senegalese culture after independence. To better understand this, it is important to examine the relationships between Ramatoulaye and Aissatou with their husbands. Ramatoulaye chose to marry Modou, without any interference from their parents. Despite her mother's reservations about his appearance and charm, Ramatoulaye was captivated by his intelligence and sensitivity from the moment she laid eyes on him.

Overall, Ramatoulaye was deeply in love with Modou and completely captivated by him. However, the marriage of Aissatou and Mawdo B¤ caused disapproval from both the public and Mawdo's family, as it was seen as disrespectful towards Mawdo's mother due to Aissatou's lack of nobility. Despite this, Mawdo stood his ground and defended their marriage, stating that marriage is a personal matter. He elevated Aissatou to his own social status, as he was the son of a

princess while Aissatou came from a lower background.

His mother's rejection did not frighten him. In both cases, we can see that the relationships initially were happy ones, and both couples seemed content with their lives. Modou was gaining reputation and climbing up the social ladder steadily, and Mawdo remained as loving as ever toward Aissatou. However, these relationships eventually changed, although the reasons behind these changes differed. This is one fact that Ramatoulaye acknowledged. But unlike in your case, the source of the problem was not my family-in-law. The problem stemmed from Modou himself, my husband."

The novel highlights Modou's violation of Islamic customs by taking a second wife. Polygamy is a common practice among Muslims, but Ramatoulaye is devastated by Modou's decision to cut off all contact with his family. Despite extensively criticizing polygamy throughout the novel, Ramatoulaye's true sorrow stems from feeling completely abandoned by her husband. She was aware that Modou was interested in someone else, but it never troubled her.

In both cases, Ramatoulaye and Aissatou are taken by surprise when their co-wives enter the picture. However, Ramatoulaye decides that her love for her husband is too strong to leave him. She chooses to abide by the customs of her Islamic faith and stay with her husband, wondering if she can bear starting again from scratch after 25 years together and raising twelve children. This inner conflict shows the turmoil in Ramatoulaye's mind, but ultimately she realizes that she may not have the strength to walk away from her husband.

She had prepared herself for "Equal sharing", but she never had the opportunity as her husband chose to abandon her

completely. It is a familiar tale, she explains. After twenty-five years of marriage, Modou wanted a "newer model," or as Ramatoulaye puts it, she was traded like a worn-out boubou. Ramatoulaye attributes his betrayal to her aging body, stating, "My stomach protruded from beneath the wrapper that concealed the calves developed through the countless kilometers I had walked since birth."

Suckling had diminished the round firmness of my breasts, leaving me unable to deceive myself: my youthful appearance was fading. In sharp contrast, Binetou is undeniably stunning and highly desirable. As Ramatoulaye observes, her beauty radiated brilliantly, utterly impossible to ignore her attractive curves. Modou's intentions in this situation are entirely self-serving, driven by his own lust and desire. Mariama B¤ also reveals, through her novel, the tendency of men to provide excuses for even the most indefensible actions.

Modou resorts to religion, claiming that "god intended him to have a second wife" and that "there is nothing he can do about it." However, it becomes apparent from Ramatoulaye's mother's perspective that she never trusted Modou from the beginning. The limited information available about Modou suggests that he was excessively preoccupied with physical appearances. He foolishly spent money to maintain a lavish lifestyle and even took out a mortgage on Ramatoulaye's house to afford a new "SICAP" villa.

Ramatoulaye asserts that only the "spiteful" individuals believed that Modou betrayed the workers he represented as a trade union leader. However, she acknowledges her own potential bias as she presents a genuine portrayal of Senegalese culture and her own life. Considering what we know about Modou, his financial needs and desire for recognition could have influenced him

to become corrupt. It is plausible that he suppressed the "trade union revolt" in order to secure the position of technical adviser in the Ministry of Public Works.

We can make a parallel here between Modou's abandonment of his workers and his abandonment of Ramatoulaye for a "newer model". In both cases, Modou shows no remorse and seems unconcerned about Ramatoulaye's reaction to their separation. He doesn't even take the time to inform her himself that he is taking Binetou as his second wife. The fact that he emotionally and physically detached himself from his first family, without any apparent guilt, is what hurts Ramatoulaye the most. It is clear that their twenty-five years of marriage mean very little to him.

The text highlights the contrasting nature of Aissatou's separation from her husband, Mawdo. Their social differences, with Aissatou being the daughter of a goldsmith and Mawdo being a Toucouleur, play a significant role in their separation. Aissatou believes that Mawdo's family looks down on her due to their lost nobility. This difference in social standing leads Mawdo's mother to plot revenge against Aissatou.

This desire for retribution prompted Aunty Nabou to mentor young Nabou, constantly reminding her of her "royal lineage". Aunty Nabou subsequently confronted Mawdo, pressuring him to marry Young Nabou or else she would never forgive him. Through emotional manipulation, she ultimately ruined Aissatou's marriage. Upon discovering that she now had a co-wife in young Nabou, Aissatou promptly decided to divorce him.

Therefore, it is evident to the reader that this marriage occurred due to familial responsibilities. Aissatou, the daughter of a goldsmith, had never gained the approval of Aunty Nabou. In

contrast to Ramatoulaye, Aissatou reacts to this betrayal by choosing to separate from her husband and disregard the societal norms. She ultimately decides to leave Africa entirely and relocate to America to work at the Senegalese embassy. In contrast, Mawdo reacts in a distinct manner when entering a polygamous relationship.