int comm. ch 13
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Define self-disclosure
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the willingness to reveal otherwise private information about ourselves to another
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In Western cultures, self-disclosure is a measure of closeness, referred to as ____
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intimacy
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What are the benefits of self disclosure?
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can be a tool to get to know others; if one self-discloses it is often easier for a partner to reciprocate; different depths of disclosure exist and they should correlate positively with the appropriate relationship stage
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What are the risks of self-disclosure?
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by revealing so much, we increase our vulnerability and potentially subject ourselves to rejection and criticism; we typically act in accordance with the norm of reciprocity (allowing for self-disclosure and intimacy to correlate in relationships)
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What is the norm of reciprocity?
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we expect self-disclosure equity in relationships; we feel safer with similar disclosure from others; relationship breadth and depth may be affected
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what is social penetration theory?
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describes and predicts how breadth and depth of communication relate; relationships typically begin with relatively narrow breadth (discuss few topics with each other) and shallow depth (conversations about topics are relatively superficial); over time the intimacy we share increases and the level of intensity deepens
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What illustration is used to depict the social penetration model?
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an onion; as you peel back layers, the breadth and depth of conversation topics go from superficial to intimate to personal until you reach the core
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Why is the Social Penetration Model useful?
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provides 2 dimensional depiction of relationships; enables us to understand why some relationships are stronger
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As relationships increase in strength what are we more willing to do?
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discuss particular subjects and reveal more about ourselves; this increases our relational bonds; we thus take steps to enhance the scope and nature of our interactions
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if disclosures happen too soon in a relationship what feelings ensue?
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discomfort
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response to self-disclosure is ______
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time related
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why are we unable to have close relationships with everyone we meet?
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every relationship has an optimal level
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What is the Johari Window model used for?
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to explore the roles that self- awareness and self-disclosure play in relationship building
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What does the window in the Johari Model represent?
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the self
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what do the 4 panes in the Johari Window Model help us explore?
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how self-awareness and and self-disclosure are relationship-dependent; how we view ourselves and how much we are willing to reveal varies among relationships
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What are the 4 panes of the Johari Window Model
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open (known to by self and others), blind (known by others but not by self), hidden (known by self, not to others), unknown (not known by self or others)
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What does the social penetration model represent?
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the depth and breadth of our relationships
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What does the Johari window model represent?
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how comfortable we are with revealing info to another person
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What is the relational dialectics theory?
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explains the ups and downs, pushes and pulls that dynamic, healthy relationships experience
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Dialectical tensions: integration-separation
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internal: connection- autonomy external: inclusion- seclusion
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Dialectical tensions: stability- change
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internal: consistency- novelty external: conventionality- uniqueness
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Dialectical tension: Expression- Privacy
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internal: openness- closedness external: revelation- concealment
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Define denial
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respond to one pole of the dialectical tension while ignoring the other
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Define disorientation
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feel overwhelmed and opt to give in to feelings of utter helplessness
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Define spiraling alternation
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repetitive cycle of alternating tensions, causing you to move from one side of the dialectic to the other
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Define Segmentation
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you and partner isolate different relationship aspects and deal with them separately
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Define Balance
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compromise approach
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define integration
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responding to opposing forces without denying or diluting them
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define recalibration
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reframe situation
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define reaffirmation
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realization by both partners that dialectical tensions will persist in relationships often because our relationships are rich and complex
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What should be done to encourage healthy relationships?
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take time to talk to one another and share feelings and concerns in open honest manner; talk about how we talk to each other (metacommunication); rely on pro social approaches; celebrate the relationship itself; have fun spending time together
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What to do if a relationship is repairable
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identify the problem: confirming vs disconfirming messages; identify strategies to repair the problem; decide to dissolve or save the relationship
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What are determinants of a dysfunctional relationship?
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toxic communication, abuse, predictable cycle of these neg things
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What are the 4 steps of the cycle of abuse?
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relational tensions build; tensions erupt in violence; abuser experiences remorse; lull in violence until tensions build and cycle begins again
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What are the 5 steps in the grief process?
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1. denial 2. anger 3. guilt 4. depression 5. Acceptance
