Cohabitation Before Marriage Essay Example

receiving it from anyone. Rather than asserting themselves, they frequently yield in conflicts. The fear of the relationship concluding is overwhelming.

When one person leaves a relationship, the other may feel abandoned, mistreated, and exploited. This often results in feelings of rejection, depression, and a damaged sense of self-worth.

Emancipation Relationship.

This type of partnership occurs when one person wants to prove their independence to friends or parents by making unrestricted choices. In this kind of relationship, resolving communication issues or finding solutions as a couple is not prioritized.

This is a Convenience Relationship, which does not promote marriage. It is a cohabiting relationship that offers convenience for economic purposes. The goal is to divide expenses equally, but research shows that women tend to support men by contributing over 70% of their income to the relationship. While it may be convenient for studying, during challenging times, it is typically the woman who sacrifices her education by dropping a class or two to fulfill responsibilities, rather than the man.

The relationship follows traditional gender roles, with the man being dominant and the woman being submissive. The woman handles all household chores while the man contributes nothing. Consequently, this arrangement benefits the man but not the woman.
Relationship Testing.
This type of cohabiting relationship serves as a trial period before marriage. The couple believes they are committed to marrying each other but wants to test their compatibility by living together first, essentially practicing marriage. They experience fewer issues compared to other types of relationships; however, statistically, they are not more successful in sustaining a lasting marriage. After four

years, most couples who lived together before marriage no longer reside together. Despite feeling "so in love" and "so happy," those who plan on eventually marrying and cohabiting will not endure in the long run. Cohabitation before marriage is surrounded by various myths—some reasonable and others absurd.

One myth suggests that it is financially beneficial to live together. However, the cost of compromising one's moral standards, virginity, and purity is equal to the savings gained from this choice. It is important to note that economic advantages do not determine morality. Additionally, the majority of cohabitants eventually break up, making economics irrelevant in the long run. The question then becomes, how much is one's virginity worth and should one save themselves for their lifelong spouse? Kevin Leman highlights the regrets of giving away something valuable to the wrong person, with no possibility of getting it back. A study conducted in 2005 examined the link between economic uncertainty, relationship conflicts, and a lack of a stable future. The research found that financial insecurity and lack of money were significant contributors to conflicts and influenced the decision to marry among cohabitants.

The Catholic Bishops of Pennsylvania recently highlighted the significance of involvement and the disadvantages of cohabitation. They underscored that although living together may result in lower rent payments, it impedes the ability to have meaningful discussions and thoughtful contemplation required for a substantial commitment. Couples who choose to cohabit do not have the advantage of detachment, which is crucial during this critical phase. Consequently, any initial savings are likely to be outweighed by long-term costs.

Dr. Joyce Brothers suggests that investing in a lifelong relationship is more important than short-term

savings, as mentioned in an article on cohabitation. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family (Wilmoth 2002) explored the link between marital status and wealth among 9,137 retired individuals. The findings revealed that cohabitants who never marry have 78% less wealth compared to those who do marry. Similarly, individuals who have been divorced or widowed once experience a decrease of 68% in wealth. However, cohabitants who have been divorced or widowed twice show no significant difference from the continuously married group.

Contrary to popular belief that cohabitation is irrelevant to others, there are various birth, health, and disease issues that arise from living together. Ultimately, these issues become the responsibility and financial burden of society.

The church has a crucial role in society and is obligated to protect the welfare of society. When a couple wants to get married within the church, it becomes a matter that involves the church. Moreover, it is the responsibility of the church to maintain biblical principles regarding purity, as it falls under its authority. Scripture instructs us to speak truthfully with love (Eph. 4:15), and we are accountable for this duty. Additionally, churches play a part in establishing and sustaining marriages.

Regular church attendance is associated with lower divorce rates as it exposes individuals to teachings and instructions on marital success. The church additionally provides support and accountability for couples (Mattox 1997). "Cohabitation is a prevalent practice in society today, but it greatly impacts unhappiness in families within the Church. This is due to the fact that cohabitation, despite societal approval, deviates from God's intended plan for marriage."

Most couples who cohabit before getting married often struggle to sustain their

married life for an extended period. The Church does not create rules; instead, it conveys and interprets God's revelations throughout history. No one within the Church has the authority to alter Jesus' teachings, as that would impede people from accessing enduring truths intended for all generations.

According to the Bishops of Pennsylvania, sexual relationships are only allowed within marriage in accordance with the Christian faith. Engaging in premarital sex is seen as disrespectful towards marriage, sex's sacredness, and human dignity. Despite this belief, a significant number of individuals choose to cohabitate before getting married. Many couples who live together before marriage view it as an opportunity for trial and error, even though it is considered immoral. Some see cohabitation as a watered-down version of marriage. However, it is important to acknowledge that the permanent commitment made on one's wedding day is not merely an appealing idea but essential for relationship growth.

Marriages that are preceded by cohabitation have a disruption rate 50% higher than marriages without premarital cohabitation, according to The National Survey on Families and Households of the University of Wisconsin. Specifically, out of every 100 couples who live together, 40 couples will break up before getting married, and 45 couples will end up divorcing or separating. Therefore, only 15 lasting marriages result from every 100 trial marriages or cohabiting experiences. Due to this trend, many Catholic priests refuse to marry couples who have lived together prior to their wedding. Instead, the couple must confirm that they have resided in separate homes for a specific period until the priest agrees to officiate their marriage.

Despite the catholic priest's orders, many couples still choose to cohabit before marriage.

Some may even decide to marry in a different church or not get married at all. The majority of people believe that the church should acknowledge and adapt to societal changes by developing a new understanding of sexual relationships for the 21st century. The provided chart displays the percentage of men and women who agree that it is acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together if they intend to marry. Notably, there are significant statistics against marrying after cohabitation; most relationships end before marriage, and those who do wed often divorce within the early years.

Some argue that living together before marriage raises the risk of divorce. According to a 1992 study with 3,300 participants, couples who cohabited prior to marriage were found to have a much higher chance of marital failure. The rate of break-ups among previous cohabitors was estimated to be about 46% higher compared to those who did not live together before getting married. This research suggests that there is an increasing acknowledgement of the established empirical observation that cohabitation increases the likelihood of marital disruption.

According to Popenoe, David, and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead in their article "Couples Should Not Live Together Before Marriage" from the Opposing Viewpoints: Sex, they express disapproval of couples living together prior to marriage.

According to Williams (San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 2000), cohabiting couples have a separation rate that is five times higher than married couples. Additionally, in the event of a separation, cohabiting couples have a reconciliation rate that is only one-third as high as married couples. Cohabitation is often seen as a chance to assess compatibility and improve the likelihood of a more enduring marriage.

With the high

rates of divorce, a significant number of individuals are not prepared for marriage. In fact, between 10% and 30% of people who live together as partners have no desire to marry. A study revealed that cohabitation only impacts the stability of a marriage if one or both partners have previously lived with someone other than their current spouse. Interestingly, ending a previous cohabiting relationship increases the likelihood of ending future relationships. This experience decreases tolerance for unhappiness and raises the probability of terminating a potentially salvageable marriage. The chart below illustrates the risk of separation for both married couples and cohabitating couples.

The bottom number represents the duration of the couples' relationship, while the side indicates the percentage of separations. Among Americans aged 60 and above, 20% endorse cohabitation. They argue that it is economically advantageous to pay a single set of bills rather than two. Additionally, there are savings on travel expenses since partners live together. Another advantage is having two incomes in the household. Combining one set of bills with two incomes allows couples to save or accumulate money.

The presented table illustrates the global percentage of adults who have cohabited with a partner outside of marriage. These statistics are derived from a study conducted by Kyklos in November 2007 (Vol. 60, Issue 4, p617-645, 29p, Illustration: p620). The data provides insights into the contemporary perspective on pre-marital cohabitation across the world.

The significance of cohabitation in the courtship process leading to marriage or as an alternative to traditional marriage is notable. About 5% of Americans find cohabitation morally objectionable, while an additional 25% have no moral objections towards it. This indicates that some individuals believe

cohabitation improves marriages, while others see it as a contributing factor to today's high divorce rates. Have your opinions on cohabitation before marriage changed? Where do you stand on this issue?

References

1. Buggey, T. (2007, Summer). Storyboard for Ivan's morning routine. Diagram. Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions, 9(3), 151. Retrieved December 14, 2007, from Academic Search Premier database.
2. Danner, Kerry. Premarital Cohabitation Can Strengthen Marriage.
3. Current Controversies: Marriage and Divorce. Ed.

Tamara L. Roleff and Mary E. Williams. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1997. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale. Apollo Library.

On September 21, 2008, David J. Eggebeen published an article titled "Cohabitation and exchanges of support" in the journal Social Forces (issue 83).

In March 2005, the Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center from Gale published an article titled "3 (March 2005): 1097(14)." On September 21, 2008, the Apollo Library included information about "Lifestyles."The text states the following information with and their contents: "Current Issues: Macmillan Social Science Library. New York: Macmillan Reference USA, 2003. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale. Apollo Library. 21 Sep. 2008 McGowan, Jo."

Premarital cohabitation does not strengthen marriage. "Current Controversies: Marriage and Divorce." Ed. Tamara L. Roleff and Mary E. Williams. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1997.

Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center.

Gale. Apollo Library. 21 Sep. 2008 Popenoe, David, and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead. "Couples Should Not Cohabit Before Marriage." Opposing Viewpoints: Sex. Ed.

Author: Mary E. Williams. Publisher: Greenhaven Press, San Diego, 2000. Source: Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale.

The Apollo Library provides information on cohabiting, copyright © 2003-05 All Rights Reserved. More details can be found at http://members.aol.com/cohabiting/.