What Is the Leading Cause of Divorce in Modern Marriages? Essay Example
What is the leading cause of divorce in modern marriages? There are many different reasons that could lead married couples to file for divorce. According to recent research the most frequently cited are: lack of commitment to the marriage, infidelity, abandonment, alcohol addiction, substance abuse, physical abuse, lack of maturity, falling out of love, and etc.
(Panse, Sonal) However, the leading cause of divorce in these modern times is lack of communication between man and wife. A marriage fails when there is failure to express emotions or discuss personal issues while expecting one another to be able to read each other’s minds.This lack of communication usually stems from failure to discuss expectations before marriage which would in turn lead to less willingness to work on their problems and so they look for a quick-fix solution which is divorce.
...Many couples think that the little problems aren’t worth being talked about, but these little problems can escalate to full-blown conflicts if not resolved by communication. This would in turn lead to feelings of resentment for one another. Continued lack of communication will cause these feelings of resentment to worsen which could eventually lead to divorce.
One of the common issues married couples avoid discussing are decisions when it comes to shared finances. This will ultimately lead to financial problems which could have been avoided if there was open communication. Another would be decisions about their children like where to send them to school. Failure to talk about it before the time to actually decide would lead to a series of arguments. So as we can see lack, of communication isn’t an isolated problem. Financial problems, decisions concernin
the children, and etc, stem from lack of communication.
So why is lack of communication the leading cause of divorce nowadays? I mean, how hard can it be? To answer that, complete honesty makes us vulnerable. Past experiences may have hardened us, making it difficult to place complete trust in a person but marriages cannot work that way. According to Scott Peck’s article, “The Road Less Travelled”, love should be circular. You should be able to extend yourself to your beloved. That way, you both grow spiritually in such a way that you are able to let go of the emotional baggage that you carry and are able to put complete trust in your spouse.
This is not an easy thing to do though, but love is like that, effortful. Self-sacrifice also plays a role in establishing healthy communication. Consider the classic example of the husband/father who comes home late from work six days a week and sleeps on the seventh in Scott Peck’s article. He thinks what he is doing, providing for his family and being able to buy everything they ask for, is enough but the truth is, it isn’t.
“Loving is a complicated rather than a simple activity, requiring the participation of his entire being-his head as well as his heart”, says Scott Peck in his article.Meaning to say, love is judicious giving. It is much better to foster independence as it would help in the spiritual growth of each member of his family, his wife, his kids, and even his own. As soon as the man realized what he was doing was wrong, he stopped being the resident genie of the family and
started playing the role of a father and husband. He communicated with his family and though initially confronted with resentment his family grew to become independent. His sons went off to college and his wife found happiness in her newfound independence.
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