Personal 11472 words College Essay Example

independently, I acquired a more profound comprehension of scripture, history, and existence than peers my age. My upbringing was predominantly shaped by my family; however, when I turned 12 and entered seventh grade, I observed a significant deterioration in my grandmother's health and energy.

Despite my extensive knowledge, I had desired to preserve my childlike naivete and trust that this circumstance would resemble the benevolent cartoons of my past, safeguarding the virtuous individuals and those in their vicinity from genuine harm. Nonetheless, while visiting my grandmother at the hospital on a regular basis, I gradually comprehended the brutal truth of the matter. Every time she was observed in her frail state, her eyes were saturated with agony and despair. Her physique had drastically diminished and her vigor had waned. During a span of several months, I witnessed her undergo two surgeries.

When I was 13, I learned about cancer and its effect on my grandmother. While at school one day, it hit me that she wouldn't survive. Memories of our happy times together flooded back to me. After returning home and seeing the family cars parked outside, I didn't think much of it until noticing everyone's sad faces inside the house. My father then asked me to sit on my mother's bed where he delivered the devastating news: my grandmother had passed away.

Upon receiving unfavorable news, I was flooded with intense emotions that manifested in uncontrollable tears and wailing. This news had a significant impact on my academic performance, resulting in lower grades. Although I tried to conceal my grief, memories of my grandmother inundated me, causing me to question the teachings about the God revered by

those around me. This experience shattered my previous beliefs and forced me to reconstruct my perception based on personal insight.

In the past, I followed others' expectations and desires which were based on my birth. This led me to question their guidance and wonder if it was all meaningless. I also pondered whether there was a God who sent his offspring as a savior for humanity and if my current path made me happy. Furthermore, I couldn't understand why God took away someone dear to me. These doubts pushed me to explore other religions and philosophies from both eastern and western cultures, studying their histories, stories, purposes, etc.

While searching for answers regarding my grandmother's unexpected passing, I pondered why it occurred to me and pursued explanations. Despite diligent efforts, I was unable to locate any constructive information that relieved my dissatisfaction with religious doctrines. The tenets adhered to by individuals appeared unachievable and ineffectual for humanity. Even after several months of research, my questions remained unanswered.

After my grandmother's passing, I struggled to find any positive aspects of the situation. It seemed purposeless and caused me to fear God. Historically, religion has been wielded as a tool for destruction by those in power, leading to humanity's downfall. Despite these thoughts, I recalled seeing my grandmother joyfully writing notes in her bible and notebooks while watching T.V. preaching.

Observing my Grandmother taking pleasure in these tasks seemed peculiar to me. I wondered if it was because she was unaware of the facts or had uncovered something that eluded me. Nonetheless, I continued studying and exploring Christianity's historical roots and perspectives. My investigation led me to conclude that the ideology

was imperfect. However, I resolved to view Christianity from a distinct standpoint, utilizing my grandmother's bilingual bible as a model, which prompted me to read and analyze it more meticulously.

While going through this period, I noticed the formation of my identity as various parts came together to create something novel. By integrating the historical knowledge I had about the bible with the teachings and narratives contained in this book, I began to understand some of its tenets. However, it did not completely fulfill my needs. I pondered why a God who performed amazing things would permit the loss of someone crucial in my existence. Nonetheless, I pressed on and identified a crucial motif: a release from agony.

After understanding biblical concepts, I realized my attitude was self-centered and ignorant of reality. I acknowledged that God cared more for my grandmother than me, instead of focusing solely on my desires. Despite struggling with her extended suffering, I longed for her presence without realizing she had gone to heaven to find comfort and escape worldly pain.

After discovering that religion was a human invention, I comprehended that my grandmother worshipped a God who sacrificed himself for her on the cross, despite not belonging to any specific belief system. It is now evident to me that humans and God cannot entirely coexist. The ideal individual to follow is someone capable of providing insight into events of more than two thousand years ago. Having come to terms with my grandmother's death, I have attained a level of maturity allowing me to make independent decisions and follow through with them.

After gaining knowledge, I attained an improved comprehension of both individuals surrounding me

and God's intentions for me in relation to those individuals. Although my grandmother passed away, her affection for me remained strong and continued to guide me in demonstrating the same love towards others. Even though He never left me, God had a way of encouraging me to pursue His will and desires. Ultimately, I developed my own identity and could now fulfill my exceptional purpose in the world. The only thing remaining is for me to make the decision to act upon it.

After choosing to pursue my unique purpose, I am now seeing it materialize. Despite the pain that life's difficulties can bring, they always have a reason. It is your decision whether to allow them to hinder or motivate you.