During that time, I found myself in a difficult situation struggling with an illness known as depression. The most challenging aspect of dealing with this condition as a young man was the lack of compassion and presence of prejudiced attitudes from those around me. Many individuals attributed God's punishment for my religious beliefs against figures such as Christ, Mary, Jose, and Judas. Additionally, I was also blamed for my depression due to coming from a dysfunctional family or simply because it was believed that I deserved to suffer as part of the human experience on Earth. It was infuriating when people would advise me to think positively and be happy while promising that my depression would disappear.
Depression goes beyond temporary sadness or religious attempts to banish demons. It encompasses more than just feelings of sadness and includes symptoms like delusions, aggression, and sadness. Geo
...rge Engel's research indicates that depression is influenced by various aspects of one's life, physical state, and mental state. In my personal experience, the condition gradually worsened over time. For nearly eight years, my doctor diligently searched for suitable antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications with minimal side effects such as fainting, uneasiness, or exacerbation of my illness. The main objective of my therapy sessions shifted to understanding the underlying causes behind my depression.
In an effort to break free from my emotional suffering and distressing nightmares, I seek understanding of their origins. Coming from a disadvantaged family with difficult circumstances at home, both my father, who had a troubled upbringing in a religious reformatory, and my mother, who relied on medication, contributed to the turmoil I endured. Financial stability and overall well-being were challenge
faced by all members of my family, including myself. Consequently, I attribute my mental health issues to the interplay of biological, psychological, and social factors within my environment.
My family members were saddened to realize that I required help. There were several instances where I had to bring my father, who was intoxicated, back home or cook for my siblings due to my mother's contentious and mentally unstable state. Given their limited abilities and understanding at the time, I believe they made their best efforts. Depression impacts us in various ways, causing pain in every aspect of our lives.
During my first year of college, I experienced a severe bout of depression that deprived me of my sense of existence. My emotions crumbled and all efforts to get better seemed futile. It felt like Venger, the fictional character from the game Dungeons & Dragons, was relentlessly pursuing me on his menacing black horse, trapping me in a nightmarish situation. Recovering on my own proved impossible, so my doctor suggested trying rational-emotive therapy which greatly helped for an extended period. Sometimes, my depression would manifest as another fictional character called Hordak from the show She-Ra engaging in a fierce battle with me using his transformed cannon-arms while I continued with daily activities.
Even though my depression felt like being attacked by Jason from Friday the 13th, I fought against it with all my strength. Unfortunately, I eventually gave in to its hold. Despite experiencing terrible nightmares, I am a survivor who never surrendered or let my suffering take over me. If I could receive help, anyone else can too. What is important now is for me to acknowledge and
accept myself as a man who understands that depression is one of the most dreadful illnesses one can confront. There are numerous individuals out there who deny its existence and keep struggling to find assistance.
As individuals, we should unite and provide support for one another. Those who feel empowered should speak out about this long-standing issue that dates back to the second millennium B.C. This will help combat the lasting stigma and bias associated with our condition, and raise awareness that others have similar experiences. However, I personally still believe I am affected by the illness. It is present nearby, not too far away! Its awakening is within my control, whether it is triggered by external factors or remains dormant like Sleeping Beauty in a fairy tale.
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