Marriage and Family 8,9,10 chapters

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boomerang generation
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young adults who move back into their parents’ home after living independently for a while or who never leave it in the first place
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close relationship model of legal marriage
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this marriage model see’s marriage as one in a universe of diverse, close, private relationships, with intrinsic emotional, psychological, and sexual dimensions.
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late 19th and 20th centuries
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companionate model of marriage emerged during…..
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wider social changes and deinstituinalization of marriage
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companionate marriage emerged because of…..
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companionship, friendship, romantic love and mutual gratifying sexual intimacy and shared decision making – NOT social obligations
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companionate marriage is based on…..
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companionate marriage is characterized by
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egalitarian (equal) ideals
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companionate marriage spouses focused on….
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self development and expression
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complementary needs theory
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belief that people select spouses whose needs are different from their own
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what theory says \”opposites attract\”
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complementary needs theory
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value theory (role theory)
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belief that gratification follows from finding someone who feels and/or thinks like we do
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what theory says \”birds of a feather flock together\”
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value theory (role theory)
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parental image theory
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we seek partners similar to our opposite sex parent
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what theory of partner selection is strongly freudian?
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parental image theory
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stimulus-value role theory is a…..
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social exchange based sequential theory (involves steps)
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stimulus-value role theory depicts…
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what takes place between the magic moment of meeting to deciding we want to maintain a long term relationship like marriage
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who developed the stimulus-value role theory?
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murstein
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what theory has three stages of romantic relationships?
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stimulus-value role theory
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what are the three stages of romantic relationships?
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stimulus, value and role
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characterize the stimulus stage
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attraction superficial; physical, mental or social; no actual interaction has taken place; like a first encounter
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characterize the value stage
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weigh each others basic values seeking compatibility; religion, philosophy, politics, sexual values, etc.; + and – occurs, tallying the value of continuing with relationship or not
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characterize the role stage
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each person analyzes the others behaviors or how the person fulfills his or her roles as lover, companion, friend, and worker and potential married partner and parent. evaluated in the eighth and subsequent encounters
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conjugal model of legal marriage stresses the importance of…..
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stresses importance of and men in order to give a baby its mother and father, to bond them to one another and to a baby.
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conjugal marriage
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a sexual union between a man and a woman who promise each other sexual fidelity, mutual care taking, and the joint parenting of any children they may have.
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conflict habituated marriages
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tension arguing and conflict permeate the relationship – conflict is what holds the relationship together
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passive congenial marriages
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begin w/out emotional spark or intense romantic idealization; marriage of convenience that satisfy needs in both spouses lives
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devitalized marriages
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begin with high emotional intensity that dwindles over time; have a history of more intimate sexually gratifying relationship that has become an emotional void;
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what holds a devitalized marriage together?
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history that HAS been shared, obligation, lifestyle built, resignation
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what type of marriage can be seen as similar to passive congenial marriage?
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devitalized marriage
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vital marriages
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appeal to our romantic notions; being and continue high emotional intensity; couples bound together in important life matters; relationship is the most valued aspect of their lives; conflict managed with quick positive resolution
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total marriages
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share characteristics of vital marriages but deeper yet; vital meshing is across ALL aspects of their lives and spouses appear to share everything
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cultural lag
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the outcome of rapid social change, when part of the culture changes more rapidly than another part (technology and social behavior for example)
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deinstitutionalization of marriage
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weakening of the social norms that define peoples behavior in a social institution such as marriage
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duration of marriage effect
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accumulation of factors over time that cause marital disenchantment; unresolved conflicts, poor communication, grievances, role overload, heavy work schedules and child rearing responsibilities
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empty nest
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period for a couple following the last childs exit from the family home
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T/F: couple satisfaction grows after the empty nest period
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true
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endogamy
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marrying those from within same large group (nationality ie)
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exogamy
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marrying those from outside of a certain group; outside of our own family; and outside our own sex
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homogamy
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to choose mate whose personal or group characteristics are similar to ours;
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another term for homogamy is
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positive assortative mating
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heterogamy
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to choose mate whose personal or group characteristics are different than ours
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the most important elements of homogamy (selection criteria) are…
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race ethnicity religion socioeconomic status age personality characteristics
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family life cycle
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developmental approach to studying families, emphasizing the family’s changing roles and relationships at various stages, beginning with the marriage and ending when both spouses have died
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engagements last typically….
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12 to 16 months
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engagements perform several functions:
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sign of commitment, define goal of marriage prepare for marriage by starting to share begins the kinship time to plan the wedding time to experience new social unit
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engagement worries on social and psychological levels:
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anxiety – over deciding to marry maturation and dependency needs – ? mature enough losses – regret what gave up to marry (freedom, independence) partner choice – marrying right person? gender role conflict – disagreement over role assignments idealization and disillusionment – \”perfect\” partner found to not be marital expectations- belief marriage blissful/conflict free/perfect self knowledge- understanding of self weakness/strengths
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hypergamy
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A marriage in which a person gains social rank by marrying someone of higher rank.
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hypogamy
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marrying down in social class
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identity bargaining
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A process in marriage in which newly married partners must modify their idealized expectations and deal with the realities of living together as husband and wife. INTERACTIVE ROLE ADJUSTMENT
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individualized marriage
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a marriage in which the emphasis is on self-development, flexible roles, and open communication
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marital commitment – three types
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personal, moral, structural
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personal commitment (marital)
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degree one wants to stay married how attracted they are; how attractive relationship is how central relationship is to one self
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moral commitment (marital)
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moral obligation to stay based on value of meaning of marriage and desire to have consistency in important life matters
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marital decline perspective
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belief that marriage is endangered
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marital resilience perspective
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belief that marriage is changing though still highly valued
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Are either marital decline or resilience perspectives more proven by support of marital data?
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no – neither is supported as the winning perspective
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marriage debate
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debate surrounding marriage being in decline or resilient
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marriage squeeze
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gender imbalance reflected in ratio of unmarried women and men more unmarried men than women currently
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mating gradient
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tendency for women to marry men of higher status tendency for men to marry women of lower status
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parental image theory
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seek partners similar to our opposite sex parent
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residential propinquity
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tendency to select partners from a geographically limited locale
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retreat from marriage
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current trends; older age first marriage; never married people; increases in cohabitation and nonmarital births; high divorce rate
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stations of marriage
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the different dimensions of day to day life that change in the process of marriage
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what is causing increased single adults?
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increased education and work; increased divorce; increased sexual and social standards; and marital gradient of more men than women single
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T/F men have a harder time with singlehood over women
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true
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Types of never married singles
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voluntary/temporary – open to marriage involuntary/temporary – actively seeking resolveds – no marriage – nuns – cohabitators involuntary – divorced/widowed/regretful/prefer marriage
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singlism
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singles are sterotyped based on myths and discriminated against (although without the hatred and violence)
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matrimania
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glorifying of married couples as THE GOLD STANDARD and able to turn an immature couple into one of perfect happiness
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T/F:Since the 60’s, Cohabitation has risen dramatically
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True
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Cohabitation is more common among this demographic:
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people with lower income and education
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Factors propelling increase in cohabitation
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More liberal sexuality; meanings of marriage/divorce has changed; marriage being delayed longer; women are less economically dependent on marriage cohabitation has become a normalized stage in life
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what two races cohabitate more than whites?
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hispanic and african american
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Four types of cohabitating relationships
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substitues or alternatives for marriage; precursors to marriage; trial marriages; coresidential dating
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trial marriages
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asses partner compatibility for marriage
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precursor to marriage
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partners share an expectation to marry
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substitute for marriage
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no expectation to ever marry but to stay together like they are married
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coresidential dating
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convenience in living together; is more boyfriend/girlfriend
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Is it more common to cohabitate before every marrying or to do so post-divorce before remarrying?
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post-divorce before remarrying
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cohabitation effect
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those who cohabitate have a greater risk of divorce than those who do not cohabitate
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cohabitators marital communication is
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more negative
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cohabitators satisfaction in marriage is
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lower
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male cohabitators commitment to marriage is
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lower
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cohabitators value of marriage and child rearing is
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lower
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serial cohabitation
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cohabitating with more than one partner
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what doubles the risk of divorce?
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serial cohabitating
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common law marriage
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couple who lived together as husband and wife and presented themselves as married
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how many states recognize common law marriages
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11 plus district of columbia
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domestic partners
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cohabitating couples in committed relationships whether heterosexual, gay, lesbian
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T/F:domestic partners are granted some of the rights of marriage
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true
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families of choice
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family like relationships, with fluid boundaries crossing multiple households, constructed by gay men and lesbians, consisting of those who can be counted upon to provide emotional, financial and practical support
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fictive kinship
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extension of kinship attributes to non-blood relatives to demonstrate their importance and to symbolize the mutual reciprocity found within them
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ambiguous loss
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uncertain and unclear loss, resulting from confusion about a family’s boundaries, and from not knowing who is in or not of a particular family
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authoritarian child rearing
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a parenting style characterized by the DEMAND for absolute obedience
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authoritative child rearing
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a parenting style that recognizes the parent’s legitimate power and also stresses the child’s feelings, individuality, and need to develop autonomy
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child free marriages
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a marriage where the couple have chosen to not have children
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conduct of fatherhood
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men’s actual participation in raising their children
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culture of fatherhood
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the beliefs (not actual conduct) we have about the role, responsibility and involvement of fathers in raising children; has changed more dramatically than actual conduct has.
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filial responsibility
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responsibility to tend to aging parents have support, assistance, company and are well cared for
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generativity
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commitment to guiding or nurturing others
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ideology of intensive mothering
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belief children need full time, unconditional attention from mothers to develop into healthy well adjusted people
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impaired fecundity
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difficulty of conceiving or carrying pregnancy to term
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indulgent child rearing
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is permissive child rearing
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infant mortality rate
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the number of deaths for every 1,000 births
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medicalization of child birth
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where women receive impersonal care during childbirth w/out opportunity for control or have input over their experiences; birth has list of routine and unnecessary use of medical interventions
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non-parental households
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homes where children live with no biological parents
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open adoption
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birth mother active in choosing parents; information exchange between birth and adoptive parents; some form of continuing contract between all parties
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parentified children
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children in the position of caring for a parent
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permissive child rearing
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a parenting style stressing the child’s autonomy and freedom of expression, often over the needs of the parents
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postpartum period
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three months after birth where critical family adjustments are made
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sandwich generation
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people and families who care for their own children AND aging parents at the same time
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uninvolved parenting
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parents who are neither responsive nor demanding of children and their needs or actions
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honeymoon effect
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tendency for newly married couples to overlook problems, including communication problems
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Field of Eligibles
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people we are socially allowed to be with
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what percent of couples marry outside of their race?
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2 percent
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What is the strongest indicator in who you are likely to marry?
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social class
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What are the stations of marriage?
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emotional, psychic, community, legal, economic, co-parental, domestic
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emotional station
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falling in love
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psychic station
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autonomy to partner. giving up alone decisions
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community station
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change in relationship with others because of marriage
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legal station
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rights and responsibilities
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economic station
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decisions/changes to economics
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co-parental station
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children
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domestic marriage
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all the work; division of labor, negotiating, managing
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Stages in the Family Life Cycle
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1: beginning, no kids 2: child bearing 3: pre-school 4:school age 6-13 5: adolescent 6: launching center 7: middle years 8: aging
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greatest satisfaction stage
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stage 1 beginning no kids is increasingly longer today
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Average age of childbirth today
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25
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satisfaction begins to decline in stage
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2: childbearing years
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percent of women in laborfoce with kids under 6
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63%
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percent of women in laborforce with kids under 3
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60%
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focus and duration of stage 3: preschool years
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focus on childrearing lasts 3.5 years
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duration of stage 4: schoolage
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about seven years
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when do couples begin to experience more free time?
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stage 4 schoolage
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stage in which satisfaction is the lowest (nadir)
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stage 5: adolescent years
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duration of stage 5: adolescent years
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about seven years
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stage in which marital satisfaction begins to rise again
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stage 6: launching years
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what is the \”empty nest\” stage
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stage 7: middle years when kids have left
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Family Life Cycle stages affect:
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Roles and relationships
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Family Life Cycle stages stress:
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adjustment, renegotiation, redefining life
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2 problems with family life cycle model
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does not apply to all families in the same way presumes life is peachy when it really is not (or congruent, expected)
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Family Life Cycle is the families developmental _____
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tasks
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Intermittent Extended Families
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take in relatives at time of need (like what happened in 2008)
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80% of marriages are these types:
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passive, conflict or devitalized
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20% of marriages are these types:
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vital or total
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Factors that influence marital success
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personality repels over time rigid people dominating people insecure people cynical people
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Marital Roles are based on
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Gender
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4 Traditional Assumptions about husband/wife roles
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1. husband head of household 2. husband responsible for supporting family 3. wife responsible for housework 4. wife responsible for child rearing
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In Duration of Marriage Effect, people become detached because of:
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conflict, poor communication, grievances, role overload, heavy work schedules, child rearing
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How do we combat Duration of Marriage Effect
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establish clear mutually accepted roles, provide mutual emotional support, mutually adjust habits, negotiate gender, adjust sexually, set priorities, communicate and discuss finances
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what is the catalyst to identity bargaining?
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the wedding ceremony
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How do we identity bargain?
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1. IDENTIFY with our new role of married person 2. TREAT other as if fulfilling the role – performance eval. 3. NEGOTIATE changes in roles
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FOUR keys to enduring relationships
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1. Best friends 2. Marriage Sacred/long term commitment 3. Consensus goals/philosophy 4. Shared Humor
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Same sex cohabitators are/have:
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younger and higher incomes; are dual earners and racially diverse
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Cost to raise a child to 22 years: lower third income bracket
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1 million
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Cost to raise a child to 22 years: upper third income bracket
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2 million
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Cost to raise a child to 18 years: lower third income bracket
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$196,000
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Cost to raise a child to 18 years: upper third income bracket
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$393,230
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How many federal rights do married couples have?
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1100
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The U.S is _______ worse in modern world for infant mortality
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second
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Why U.S. is high in infant mortality
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highest rate of poverty in industrialized world lack of health care lack of prenatal care
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Fertility Rate in the U.S.
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69.5 per 1000 births
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T/F: Less children are born as we make more money
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True
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which educational group least in fertility rate
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less than high school education 57.3
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which educational group highest in fertility rate
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high school 67.4
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Trimesters of pregnancy: how many?
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4
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4th Trimester is :
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shared by both partners role adjustments overwhelming responsibility is often overlooked
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Physical stresses of 4th Trimester
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fall in hormones blood loss water loss physical stress mental stress huge adjustments to social life huge adjustments to daily life
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Continuous Coverage System
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24 hours a day with no down time/ so is rotation
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Fathers are ______ in continuous coverage system
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helpers and playmates
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Mothers are ______ in continuous coverage system
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real workers, disciplinarian
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Bifurication of fatherhood
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decline division of labor between parents decline as role of just provider decline good vs. bad
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does marital satisfaction increase or decline with birth?
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declines
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there is an increase in levels of ________ among new parents
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depression
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Invisible Parenting
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all the mental labor not seen; worrying, seek information, division of labor
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Parental Bill of Rights
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parents effort to enact legal bill of rights for parents right for job to give time for parenting pro family electoral improve schools strengthen social importance of parenthood economic security

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