Conrad's fragile calm is shattered as the small seed of despair sprouts and reaches out experimentally towards him. He clings desperately to his only hope, but cannot find solace because today marks a significant deadline - Tuesday, September 30th - exactly one month since he returned home. Meanwhile, Garrett continues to pose perplexing questions such as "From what? Toward what?" These unanswerable queries erode Conrad's stability. This situation is regarded as a severe affliction, surpassing even the discomfort of acne or an unidentified rash. Thus, what kind of remedy could possibly alleviate his suffering?
The text emphasizes Conrad's current state of uneasiness and anxiety about life in the real world. It is clear that he has not fully recovered and experiences panic. When he left the hospital, he recalls feeling calm and pea
...ceful. He had a few guiding principles for navigating through each day and had ambitious plans to organize his life. However, he seems to have forgotten the specific details of these plans, if they even existed. Conrad remains afraid of what lies beyond life in the hospital. In chapter 2, he focuses on his beard as he contemplates the repetitive nature of his days and considers evaluating his life.
Calvin Garrett, a forty-one-year-old U.S. citizen, is not only a tax attorney but also a husband and father. Unfortunately, tragedy struck Calvin's life at an early age when he became an orphan at eleven years old (P. 7). Despite this hardship, Calvin's life followed a consistent pattern until he faced the worst possible situation. As a father, Calvin understands that responsibility comes with the territory and recognizes the importance of paying attention to
any signs of trouble before they escalate into bigger problems (Being a father is difficult and during tough times, it becomes the most challenging job for him). Prior to this unfortunate event, Calvin was living a life of luxury and providing his family – including his boys – with everything they needed and desired. Finally achieving success and feeling content with his current circumstances.
Conrad has been able to build a prosperous life for himself despite his difficult upbringing in the Evangelical Home. Chapter 3 explores how he finds the early morning overwhelming and feels vulnerable when awake. However, gazing at the ceiling provides him comfort and safety as he envisions himself hidden under the covers, peacefully asleep and oblivious to any danger. The loss of his brother intensifies the struggle of facing each morning, leaving Conrad feeling purposeless. While he retains his sense of humor, his identity seems to have vanished.
No. Incorrect. You cannot lose something that you never possessed. Conrad's sense of humor remains intact on page 15, but he has lost his sense of self. His essence has not been lost, but it may have been misplaced. On page 19, there is a necessity for Conrad to reclaim his position on the swim team and rejoin the choir; there are no alternatives, only continuous movement. Conrad strongly desires to begin making efforts again and longs for his life to revert to its previous state. It is similar to the empty space in your mouth where a tooth used to reside on page 24, tempting your tongue to constantly explore it. Conrad cannot stop pondering about what occurred and how life used
to be.
Chapter 4 : "Are we going to continue living with this constant burden? The family is unwilling to endure this pain indefinitely, but it can only fade away if they attempt to forget. "The father has realized that riding the train allows for excessive contemplation, which can be detrimental. " The father is reluctant to dwell excessively on the past events as it is gradually tearing the family apart. "He does not consider himself innocent. He assumes responsibility and control, ultimately leading to comprehension of how things unfolded."
The text explores the causes of specific events and reflects on who should be held accountable. It ponders whether the belief that our loved ones are untouchable and immune to danger is responsible. On page 34, the father blames himself for his son's demise, realizing that unexpected situations can affect anyone, even those we hold dear. Chapter 5 depicts a character approaching a well-lit doorway situated at the far end of a hallway.
The father in Chapter 16 realizes the lack of organization and goals in his life. As he stands at his desk, he contemplates and takes quick notes while gazing out of his bedroom window. He acknowledges the need for change in what has occurred. Previously, he would find notes on his desk that he kept, discovering them folded inside his napkin during dinner or taped to the bathroom mirror. Being referred to as the "Great Listener," others questioned if reverting to old ways meant moving forward or backward in life. The father is uncertain whether living as he used to helps him progress or keeps him trapped in the past. He
feels confined like being in a box all along, with everyone observing him from outside, even those who support him. It appears that nobody truly comprehends how it feels on the inside.
In Chapter 17, there is a feeling of heavy guilt and responsibility for missing the signals. The protagonist acknowledges that something is wrong with Conrad but fears that he overlooked the signs. Life is full of accidents, from falling in love to dealing with them. It is important to face these challenges with clear eyes. In Chapter 18, Conrad believes in the reciprocity of how one gives and receives. In Chapter 19, life is not straightforward, and escaping from problems solves nothing. People are born, they live their lives performing various actions, and eventually, they die. The underlying fear of losing someone is the thought that there might have been something one could have done to prevent it from happening.
P. 162: The family could have prevented their fear of losing their child if they were less careless, although it is not their fault for what happened.
P. 63: Life holds meaning if you believe it does.
Chapter 20: On the way home, Conrad's hand lightly holds hers, indicating a connection and a first date in a long time.
P. 170: Conrad feels no pain during this date and believes there is a connection.
Chapter 21: Safety and order are the priorities of his life, as he is not one to take risks.
P. 173: Cal acknowledges that what happened was his fault as there were no risks involved.
P. 174: His mother attempted to control both him and the other man she loved, but her manipulations did not
succeed.
He had seemingly turned off his emotions one day, silently and simply.Before commencing, priorities need to be established once more. The main focus should be on ensuring safety and maintaining order. It is crucial to recognize that engaging in infidelity can have severe consequences.
People experience pain and fear of getting hurt. On page 175, Cal expresses his fear of getting hurt again by attempting to make his family safer, but ironically, it only causes them more harm. In Chapter 22, he is determined not to let himself get hurt again, emphasizing the importance of control. On page 182, Conrad hides his pain from his friends because he doesn't want to reveal his vulnerability. Waiting for anything is a painful experience, as stated on page 185. Conrad even inflicts punishment upon himself, prolonging the agony and anticipation for the next punishment. In Chapter 23, he encounters a sign off the highway that questions if he is on the correct path.
Leaves and flowers entwine around a cross-shaped symbol. "P. 186-7 He is unsure if he is on the correct path in his life, questioning whether he should continue or change course. Ultimately, this uncertainty divides people rather than bringing them together. People do not appreciate being instructed. There must be a way to convey a message without assuming the role of a holy person. However, shouldn't the mere need to deliver a message serve as evidence that one is not holy? " P. 187 It is unnecessary to be a saint or prophet in order to express that someone has potential, although some may doubt and it could negatively impact their lives as well as
one's own.
Chapter 24: The doctor tells Conrad he is stable, but Conrad knows he is not well. (Page 194-195)
Chapter 25: Audrey warns Conrad to be careful with Beth because she becomes emotional and wants things to go perfectly according to her plans. (Page 203)
Conrad remembers Carol's words about Beth being a perfectionist and never allowing herself to feel trapped, causing him to feel a sense of despair. Conrad's only source of hope is holding him together. (Page 2)
Conrad feels uneasy because it is the target date of Tuesday, September 30, marking one month since he returned home. He questions his purpose and feels undermined by his obsession with finding answers. This affliction is worse than acne or an unidentifiable rash. Conrad wonders what kind of cure this is. (Page 4)
Conrad's physical and mental health struggles are evident as he deals with panic and nervousness about the realities of life outside the hospital. Upon leaving, he vaguely remembers feeling calm and peaceful, with guiding principles and ambitious plans for organizing his life. However, the details of these plans have disappeared from his memory. Conrad continues to be afraid of what awaits beyond the hospital walls, which is depicted in Chapter 2 through his consideration of his appearance and reflection on his thoughts. This period provides him with an opportunity to contemplate and assess his life.
Calvin Garrett, a forty-one-year-old U.S. Citizen and tax attorney, has faced significant hardships in his life. Orphaned at the age of eleven (P. 7), he has embraced the responsibilities of being a husband and father. However, his once consistent life took a tragic turn when
something terrible occurred.
For Calvin, fatherhood is synonymous with responsibility as he understands the importance of recognizing signs and not ignoring them (P. 7). He acknowledges that keeping emotions suppressed can have long-term harmful effects (P. 7). Despite its challenges, being a father is ultimately the most demanding role he has taken on (P. 7).
Previously, Calvin had been able to generously support his family by providing everything they needed and desired (P. 7). He had attained success and contentment in his life (P. 7).
Despite his challenging upbringing at the Evangelical Home, the kid has achieved a successful life. (P. 10) In Chapter 3, Conrad finds solace and safety by imagining himself in bed with the covers pulled up, avoiding the dangers of being awake in the early morning. (P. 14-15) His struggle to get up each day stems from losing his brother and feeling like he has nothing to live for. (P. 14-15) Although Conrad still possesses a sense of humor, it is his sense of identity that appears to be misplaced.
No. Wrong. You never lose what you never had. " P. 15 Conrad never lost his humor, but his identity has vanished. He never lost his true self, but it can be misplaced. "Wrong. There is a need. To regain his spot on the swim team, to get back into the choir again, there are no choices at all, Just endless motion." P. 19 Conrad has a need to start trying again; he desires his life to return to its previous state. "It is like the hole in your mouth where a tooth was, and you cannot keep your
tongue from playing with it." P. 24 Conrad cannot stop thinking about what happened and what life WAS like.
Chapter 4: "Are we going to continue living with this constant burden? The family desires to alleviate this pain but acknowledges that it cannot go away without attempting to forget. "Riding the train provides him with excessive time for contemplation," he concluded. Excessive rumination can be detrimental. " The father refuses to excessively dwell on the past event as it is gradually tearing the family apart. "He does not perceive himself as blameless. He believes it must be his own culpability, as fault equates to responsibility, control, and ultimately comprehension of how events unfolded.
The father bears the blame for his son's demise, perhaps because he wrongly believed that his family members were invincible and beyond harm. This idea is conveyed on page 34. Nevertheless, in Chapter 5, the father comes across a door emitting light at the end of a hallway, which motivates him to move closer towards it.
Chapter 16: "He has come to the conclusion, on this clear and sunny day in January, that his life lacks Organization and Goals. Standing at his desk, with his foot on the chair, he gazes out of his bedroom window and ponders, making rapid notes." P. 130 The father recognizes the need for organization and goals in his life and contemplates while standing at his desk, jotting down thoughts. "Lists. Buck used to find little scraps of notes on his desk; those stern, written commands to himself to shape up. He could steal them and they would appear, folded inside his napkin during dinner or
taped to the bathroom mirror. The Great Listener strikes again, folks!' he would taunt him. Reverting to old ways--does that mean moving backward or forward?" P. 133 The father questions whether returning to old habits signifies progress or dwelling in the past."'That box,' he says.'I feel like I've been trapped in it forever.Everyone peering inside examining how you're doing.Even when they're on your side they're still looking in.Like no one can ever get in there with you.'" P. 138 Others observe from outside without truly understanding what it's like inside.
In Chapter 17, Cal feels a heavy guilt for missing the signals and not taking responsibility. He realizes that something is wrong with Conrad but fears that he missed the signs to help him. Life is unpredictable, filled with accidents and choices that you must approach with clear eyes. This is shown in Conrad's struggle.
Chapter 18 explores the idea that Conrad will receive what he gives out. Conrad's actions reflect his own state of being.
In Chapter 19, the characters contemplate the answer to life, recognizing its complexity and the futility of running away. Life cannot be reduced to simple formulas or meaningless actions.
The fear of losing people carries the underlying fear that one could have prevented it by taking action.
P. 162 Despite the fact that the family is not at fault for what happened, their fear of losing their child could have been avoided if they were more careful.
One thing is certain, Ray is incorrect. Life is not a sequence of pathetic, meaningless actions. Some of them are so meaningful and significant that they transcend reason, perhaps even beyond forgiveness. (P. 63)
In
Chapter 20, on the journey home, he makes physical contact with her and lightly holds her hand while she speaks. This is the first date in a very long time when Conrad feels a genuine connection and experiences no pain. (P. 170)
Chapter 21 explores the priorities of his life - safety and order. He is not inclined to take risks and identifies himself as a person who values safety. (P. 173)
Cal acknowledges that he avoids taking risks and accepts responsibility for what happened since no risk was involved. His mother referred to him as Arnold Fagin and consistently pointed out how Arnold controlled him, wanting to possess him. Cal tried to please both individuals he loved but failed while nervously sitting on the fence. (P. 174)
It appears that he quietly and simply turned off his emotions one day.Before getting started, priorities need to be established once again. Safety and order should be the foremost concern as infidelity is a perilous affair.
People get hurt. P. 175 Cal is afraid of getting hurt again so he begins to help his family by making them safer, but it is Just hurting them more and more. Chapter 22: He lets him pull out first, holding himself tight, control is all, he will not, will not. Not here. Not again. P. 182 Conrad doesn't want to show his friends that he is in pain. Waiting is part of the punishment. P. 185 Waiting for anything hurts. Conrad wants to hurt himself, each and every punishment he does to himself makes him wait for the next. Chapter 23: He passes a sign, high off the highway and to his left:
Are you on the right road?
Within a cross shape, leaves and flowers are entwined. On pages 186-7, the main character expresses uncertainty regarding their life's path and whether they should persist or make a change. The act of communicating information often leads to division rather than unity. People dislike being told what to do, so finding a way to convey a message without assuming superiority is crucial. Nonetheless, the very necessity of delivering a message should confirm that one is not divine. Recognizing someone's potential does not require being holy or prophetic. However, some may question your words and their doubt could have negative consequences for both you and them (page 187).
Chapter 24: The doctor interprets Conrad's statement about his good health as a sign of improvement, though Conrad himself knows that he isn't truly stable. (p. 194-195)
Chapter 25: Audrey acknowledges the need for caution when dealing with Beth, as her emotions can be detrimental to her. Beth desires things to go perfectly according to her plans, but life doesn't work that way. (p. 203)
Conrad recalls Carol's comment during lunch, noting that she is a perfectionist who avoids getting herself caught in traps.
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