Closed vs. Open Adoption Essay Example

to terminate the parental rights of the birth parents and sever their ties with the child, most states do not have laws addressing open adoptions. It is important to know these things. Birth parents should know that even if they choose an open adoption it does not always guarantee the openness that they may be promised. With my personal experience with being a birth parent I feel the need to stress the importance of this.

The adoptive parents and I never made it clear whether the adoption would be open or closed.We started with an open adoption and then the adoptive parents slowly closed it. In this situation there was nothing, legally, that I could do. I did, however, discuss my feelings with the adoptive parents and I am glad to say it was then reopened.

Both perspective birth parents as well as adoptive parents need to look into seeking counseling. It is important to seek counseling prior to placing or adopting a child and after placing or adopting a child. Axness , (n. d), explains that Quality counseling for the birth mother (or birth parents), includes: (1) An exploration of the dizzying gamut of her feelings; 2) An evolving understanding of what adoption would mean for her, her child, and the parents she chooses for her child; (3) Help in realizing that while she may make plans beforehand, she will not be in a position to make a fully-informed decision regarding the adoption until after her baby is born; (4) Preparation for the fact that she will naturally experience feelings of loss and grief if she does choose to relinquish her child for adoption,

even if the choice is the correct one for her, and even though she will have contact with her child and her child's parents, and (5) Ambivalence.This last point is one of the land mines of poorly-done open adoption: when an uncounseled birthmother, with no post-placement counseling, is blindsided by her stormy emotions after the separation from her baby, a natural thought is, "I made a mistake.

I've got to get my baby back," even if her decision to relinquish her child was a sound one and a right one.You see, we as a society aren't good with ambivalence-we're conditioned to think that if something is right, it feels good, and if it feels bad or is difficult, it must be wrong. Axness, (n. d), also explains that Quality counseling for prospective adoptive parents includes: (1) Exploring their own profound losses, of infertility or the death or miscarriage of a child or children; (2) Examining their reasons for adopting a child; 3) Really understanding that a prospective birth mother will not be in a position to make a decision about relinquishing her child until after the baby has been born; (3) Understanding that they will be witnessing close-up the very real grief of their child's birthmother, and that this is a normal part of open adoption; (4) Embarking on an inner journey to confront the most destructive force in adoption-personal insecurities and fears. "Every adoption is a foray into terror," writes Jim Gritter, Child Welfare Supervisor, Catholic Human Services in Traverse City, MI, and author of The Spirit of Open Adoption.

This shows you how important it is to seek counseling and understand different processes birth

parents and adoptive parents may have to go through such as the grief process. After explaining the difference of both open adoptions and closed adoptions it is important to look at the affects caused by both types of adoptions. It is important for the birth parents as well as the adoptive parents to learn the positive and negative affects that may be caused by both open and closed adoptions.As written in The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child, Verrier, (1993), "Many doctors and psychologists now understand that bonding doesn't begin at birth, but is a continuum of physiological, psychological, and spiritual events which begin in utero and continue throughout the postnatal bonding period.

When this natural evolution is interrupted by a postnatal separation from the biological mother, the resultant experience of abandonment and loss is indelibly imprinted upon the unconscious minds of these children, causing that which I call the primal wound'. This is important to know because if a parent wants the best for their child they will give their child time to grieve. Whether a birth parent or adoptive parent it should be know as to what is best for the child involved, with that being said, it is important to become educated about things believe from both sides. It is believed by open adoption advocates that closed adoption is traumatizing for the adoptee.

They believe that the secrecy of a closed adoption causes problems for the adoptee emotionally.They believe that to be emotionally sound it is needed by the adoptee to know where they come from more then just their nationality or history of health. It is believed by closed adoption advocates

that open adoption may make it harder for the child and adoptive family to bond well. They also believe that adoptees that do not search for their birth families have greater self-concept then adoptees that do search for their birth families.

Open adoption for the birth parents is something that can help with the grieving process.It lets the birth parents involved in an open adoption know where their child is and does not have to worry or create fantasies about their relinquished child or children. Anyone can see that adoption is a long process. Not many people realize that there is a lot of information they need to know and understand before the adoption process should begin. It is important to understand that the birth parents as well as the adoptive parents go through emotional turmoil.

It is also important to know that each person involved should seek counseling prior to and after the adoption process. Finally, it is good to know the ins and outs of open and closed adoptions. Adoption may be a long emotional process but it is an amazing, loving way to bring families together. References Adopting Family Resources [no author].

(not listed). Adopting- Open versus Closed. Retrieved June 20, 2008, Web site: http://www. adoptingfamilyresources. com Axness, Marcy (1994). What Is The Primal Wound?Understanding The Trauma of Infant- Maternal Separation.

Retrieved June 23, 2008, from Birth Psychology Web site: http://www. birthpsychology. com/birthscene/adoption. html Axness, Marcy (1996). Painful Lessons: What We Must Learn About Open Adoption, For Our Children’s Sake. Retrieved June 23, 2008, from Birth Psychology Web site: http://birthpsychology.

com/birthscene/adoption10. html Gillespie, Shields & Associates. (2007). Open vs. Closed Adoption.

Retrieved June

23, 2008 http://www. gillaw. com