Tick… Tock… Tick… That was all he heard in the hospital’s main room. He had been visiting the same hospital for the fifty-fourth day in a row, climbing the stairs to the 3rd floor. He had memorized the place as if it was his own home, there are 60 steps to reach the 3rd floor, on the left side of the waiting room was the hospital's pharmacy and on the right, was another waiting room for adults. Apprehension had swept through his mind every second he was standing in the hospital. The waiting room was absolutely noiseless, you could hear the clock tick away every second.
He was visiting his grandmother at the exact same time as when he first came here, after learning his grandmother had been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. He sat in a crusty, tatt
...ered chair, biting his fingernails, which had slowly become a habit due to being in the hospital for fifty-four days straight. Finally, he was able to enter his grandmother’s room, feeling as if the time had gone in slow motion. She laid on the freezing, dense hospital bed, emotionless as if her soul had left her body.
On her fifty-fourth day of being treated, he had been given the most horrifying news. The physician had stated that her body had slowly started to give up and become debilitated. The physician reviewed her results and had told him that they had no more options the hospital could provide. Her body began to shake and the palms of her hands began to sweat as she was told the news. Terror was written all over her face.
Every day before he left
his grandmother would whisper to his ear, “Please… Please end my life”. He could tell that she wanted to die now and that his grandmother wanted to be put out of her misery. He had considered assisted suicide abundant times but would hate to watch another family member suffer from extensive agony. What will he do?
I fell in love with this story and I soon began to wonder: How does assisting with suicide affect a physician’s mental health? I chose my topic about assisted suicide because I am interested in how assisted suicide is performed and how it differs from euthanasia. I first heard about assisted suicide on my way to school. Just like any other ordinary morning, I was late, as always. Stumbling to put on my shoes as I got into the car, my father turned on the radio and my brother and I were listening to an interview.
Not just any tedious interview, but it happened to be between a news reporter and a doctor. Half asleep, I was already dead inside, feeling incredibly exhausted. I was slowly falling back asleep until I heard the word suicide. “Suicide?” I whispered. The interview was extremely depressing and heavy, as the doctor did not favor assisted suicide and has never enjoyed performing it on patients. The doctor was explaining how she had to execute this situation and believed that it was necessary in some cases.
I was drawn in. Suicide was the exact opposite of happiness. It was as if children were carving pumpkins in the fall and scraping the insides out. The feeling of emptiness washed numerous emotions towards me. I felt those feelings as
I listened to the interview. I gradually became more and more attentive to the topic.Throughout the interview, I gathered negative thoughts, believing the patient had given up hope of getting better. During class on that day, I researched the topic and realized, assisted suicide is illegal everywhere, except for a handful of states and countries.
Therefore, I chose my topic because of an interview between a reporter and a doctor talking about assisted suicide. This topic interests me because this form of suicide is only legal in a few states. Assisted suicide is one of the most brought up topics and is debated all over the world. My interest stems from always wanting to be a doctor growing up and this brings an emotional feeling to my chest. As a human being, we are given choices in life that can determine what may happen in the future.
As I began my I-search topic, my first interest was on gene editing, slowly realizing that I knew absolutely nothing about it. Eventually, I decided to do my topic about dance, later finding out there were too little amounts of sources to make a satisfactory research topic. At last, I decided to choose my I-search about assisted suicide because of my curiosity to learn more about its effects on the world. My first question started off as, “How does assisted suicide affect society?” At first, I believed I made the million dollar question until I received my family’s opinion.
Soon I began to realize that my question was way too broad and would only contain opinions from others. After a decent amount of days thinking, I formed another research question, “How
does assisting with suicide affect a physician’s mental health?” I already know that assisted suicide became legal in California in 2016, but should a terminally ill patient have the right to decide when they want to die? I soon began to think of more questions, like what is the difference between assisted suicide and euthanasia?
What are the pros and cons of assisted suicide? How many states are assisted suicide legal? I believe that as a person, this form of suicide is not right, but it is needed in some situations. I hope to learn how assisted suicide is requested and performed on a patient. I will find information about this form of suicide through reading books and looking through websites. The perfect people to interview for this project would be a physician at the local hospitals around me. I hope to discover an immense amount of information about assisted suicide and how it affects our society.
