Something either Good or Bad That Change My Life Essay
My life totally changed when I was at the age of twenty five. I was definitely not a girl anymore, but still learning more things about being a woman.
I can say that it has been a turning point in my life. At the age of twenty five, I may look matured enough to know almost all the ups and downs of being an adult. But I never thought that I could still learn more. I met this guy from a very special place. With just one look, I was swept away by the look of his incredible eyes.
He has got this look that I can not explain. Yet I am not the type of girl who will fall for that easily.I know I like him. But still, I want him to do ways on his own.
I want to test him if he really likes me; if he is the one that I’ve been looking for; if he is my destiny. We had dates just like any other typical couples. We shared many stories with each other. We shared each others’ secrets. We loved each other so much. With that love, there came my true love — my son.
Yes, at the age of twenty-five, I was bearing my first child. At the first, I was so excited. I even started shopping some baby stuff immediately even without knowing if it would be a girl or a boy.I had plans of me and my child going to the mall, buying something for her girl friend; or announcing to the whole neighborhood about his medals and awards at school or at the varsity team; having fun during camping; or eating at some fine restaurant at his first salary; even seeing him or her walking down the aisle during his or her wedding.
But of course, I was just imagining during that time. Reality finally hit me that it was not all fun at all. During the first part of my pregnancy, there were so many changes happening to my body. I was always starting to feel sick.I was just vomiting every where. It is a good thing that people around me understands my situation.
I was so thankful for that. I always had blurring of vision and collapsing episodes. I tried to avoid those embarrassing moments. But no matter how hard I try, my body needed to do it on its own.
The worse part is that I was beginning to start ugly. There had been dark lines every where just started popping up at certain parts of my body. I am thankful enough that at the very least, those were not exposed that much. Every time I looked at the mirror, it was as if a totally different person is what I see.I really hated it.
My ever supportive mother referred me to a great doctor. I had my prenatal visits to every now and then. At least everything was getting clear for me. She explained everything that I needed to know. My visits had been quite helpful for me in accepting the challenges that I needed to face all through out my pregnancy.
At least I was less stressed and manage to hang on. She gave me advices on the right lifestyle and diet; on how to avoid this and that; and so on and so forth about my pregnancy. Then, I was beginning to gain more weight.I was starving almost every minute. But unfortunately, I was deprived from the food that I like. I really missed eating tons of sweets, food from fast food chains, fatty and cholesterol rich food.
I had to deal with balanced meals everyday. Lean meat, fish, vegetables and fruits are usually my daily meals. Of course, lots of milk and vitamins can not be taken out from the diet. It was getting so hard for me to do the things I was used of doing. My back was always aching even if I was not wearing high-heeled shoes. I was always slow in moving.
I had to do more shopping and change the way that I dress. When I was not still pregnant, I could go to bars and movie houses any time I wanted. I always had to go have good times with my friends; go out of town; and stay all night in someone else’s house. But since I had to take care of someone else inside me, I had to stay away from alcohol and smoke. I had lots of sacrifices.
As time passed by, my belly was starting to go bigger and bigger. There I realized that the time was getting nearer and nearer of facing the worst part of my whole pregnancy.That part is the time of my delivery. Half of me liked to move the date faster so I could face my fear and finally end this agony of mine. But also, half of me was hoping for a miracle for it to be post-pone because of the same reason of me being afraid. Unfortunately, no matter how much I strived to take care of myself as well as my child, I was two weeks overdue my expected date of delivery.
More fear and stress went up to my vein. Whether I like it or not, I had to go to the operating room instead of the delivery room. I had to undergo a caesarean section.Again, fear was my only opponent. There were many reasons for me to be afraid.
I had this fear of having tons of stretch marks after the operation; not going back to my normal weight after; the pain that I have to endure all through out the operation. But the biggest part that I fear most was the sake of my son. Would he be alright? Would he be physically complete with all parts? Would he be a healthy baby boy? Would there be complications? Did I do everything that the doctor told me? Were all my efforts in the past nine months enough? Would he be in so much pain?Will he like me? What will happen next after this? Will I be a great mother to her? So many questions were running through my mind. I was being paranoid as the sedative was running through my body.
I wished I could do something. But I can’t. All I could do at that very moment was to pray really sincerely so that God would give us His blessings, for us to overcome that particular situation. When I woke up at the hospital, my mother was there holding my son. I saw her full of tears running down through her face. There were no regrets.
Tears fell from my eyes as I held him.I watched his little fingers trying to hold on to something. His little face was so cute; I could not resist kissing him. I see myself in him.
I know that he is really my son. Right there I wished for nothing else. I was so much content with my life. There is no reason for me to cry anymore. I cannot wait to get out of there and continue the rest of my life with him.
I cannot wait until I can give all the things that he needs in this world. I will teach all the great things. I give him the fun of life. All the values and lessons in my life that I have now will be imparted to him as well.He will be a respectful child. He will grow up to be a descent and kind man.
I know that there will be bad moments too but I will make sure that I will be there for him every step of the way. . I know that I will be a good mother to him. If ever the right time comes that I have to let him go, I will do it so gladly. I know that there will come a time that he too ill be great a father. I will support him on that phase of his life.
I will not leave him no matter what happens. Many things had happened since my son’s infant year until now that he is already four years old.Again, there were bad times, but I gladly take it with the good ones. I can still remember the nights that I always give him touch and massage therapies.
We were communicating even if he did not see me yet. We understand each other even without words. I had to always wake up in the middle of the night just to give him milk. All the sleepless nights letting him sleep were irreplaceable. Now that he is a toddler, everything was more complicated.
I have to admit that all of the time that he is having tantrums has been irritating. Yes, those times were so stressful.I was always caught between giving him mercy to give him what he wants and of letting him wait for the right time. I do not want my son to be spoiled. I want to discipline him, but still through the right way and still with much love.
But I know that those are just part of being a mother. I know that it now is just the start of it all. After all the sufferings and pain in my life, I can absolutely say that everything was all worth it. Even though the father of my son and I are already separated, I know that everything will be alright. I can always be a mother even without him.Financially wise, I have no problem since I own a restaurant.
I am now continuing my studies. My mother has always been there for my son when I am not around. Of course, during nights, I am still a mother to my son. I am so thankful that my mother has always been by my side. I also have my friends who are willing to share every good and bad time with me.
They were always there for me through thick and thin. They never left me during the miserable times of pregnancy up until now that I am raising my son. Reminiscing the old days from my childhood when I was still with my family up until now never fails to give me a smile.I would not be what I am right now if not for all the experiences in my life. I know that there were ups and downs but still I am thankful for all of those.
Right now, I feel even more complete. No matter how non sense or exciting an experience would be, it will still make a difference in my life. At the same time, it does not really matter how young or matured a person would be to change your whole life. My past experiences changed my life. The main reason of this change is because of one person who came into my life — my son.