Everybody needs someone they can turn to. Everybody needs to find "their person" as Christina Yang would say.
I am fortunate enough to have been blessed with not only one person, but two. Towards the end of my sophomore year, January to be exact, I was getting ready at my dad's for my cousin's sweet sixteen- my parents are divorced but that's another story. Had gotten a new dress for the occasion and thought I looked great in the dress. Little did I know that my father had the complete opposite thought. He told me so when walked down the stairs that night.
His exact words were "Why are you wearing that dress? You look fat and ugly in it. Come to think of it, you look horrible in anything you put on.
..." took the blows with my head held high and a smile on my face. I refused to let him see how much that had hurt me. While I was smiling on the outside, was breaking on the inside. From that point on vowed to make my dad like how looked, no matter what it took.
A few months after the incident, I was still trying to please my dad. I started changing little things, like how did my hair and the clothes wore. When I realized that wasn't working I decided to try a diet.
It went pretty well except my dad still wasn't pleased with how I looked. At this point in my life, I had also started working, so when I was there would skip dinner. Eventually I started to skip lunch and only eat a granola bar for breakfast.
Somewher
in trying to please my dad I lost control and landed myself a substantial eating disorder. After skipping dinner almost every time I worked my one co-worker, Sails, became concerned. Sails and I were pretty close, since she took me mom almost every Friday night and one night on the way home she asked me about why I had been skipping dinner.
I tried to brush it off and say it was nothing, but she knew something was up so she persisted.
I eventually gave up trying to hide it and told her everything. Ever since that night, she has been by my side. These two people have helped me through the toughest time of my life- my eating disorder. Three years ago, I had a family event and was getting ready for it at my dad's.
I gotten a new dress for the occasion and thought I looked gorgeous in it. My dad on the other hand Hough otherwise - he told me looked fat and ugly in the dress.
I was devastated and from that point on my life changed. I wanted to lose a few pounds to please my dad so I went on a diet.
After lost those few pounds, I still couldn't please my dad. Somewhere in trying to please my dad, I lost control and ended up with a substantial eating disorder. A little more than a year after the incident, I started working. Threw myself into work and when I worked I never ate dinner.
It slowly progressed until I stopped eating lunch and only ate dinner the nights I was home so it wouldn't be suspicious.
About half way though my
first season at the Scranton Canoe Club, my one co-worker, Sails, noticed something was up. She took me home most Friday nights, so one car ride home she asked me why hadn't eaten dinner that night. I made up some excuse like 'l ate before I came to work.
' and she dropped the topic, for that night. The next time she was more persistent and I was having a bad night, seeing as my dad had just finished telling me I wasn't pretty and was not the daughter he had wanted. So I told her about the incident. And ever since she has been there for me, no matter the time or the day.
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