Bad Habits – Alcohol and Drugs Essay Example

is sad, but does not question her any further. A wife/mother comes home from a party very drunk.

 The children watch their father assist their mother to bed.  The next morning the father tells the children to play very quietly because mother is coming down with the flu.  The children do not correct the lie. Real feelings get lost by chemical dependence.

Because there is no trust, each member of the family also learns not to feel.  Feelings of anger, disappointment, sadness, and fear are held inside.  Only certain feelings (and attitudes) are recognized as appropriate. A chemically dependent father does not show up at any of his daughter's volleyball games even after promising to attend time and time again.  Instead of sharing her feelings of pain and disappointment, the daughter says, "It's okay.  I didn't play very. A husband finds that his wife overdrew the checking account due to a spontaneous shopping spree.

He does not express his feelings of anger at her irresponsible. A teenage son has been suspended from school again, but his parents cannot express feelings of anger and fear.  The situation is not discussed. Whether spoken or unspoken, these family rules often apply within the families of chemically dependent people.

The first step in intervention is to gather together everyone concerned about the chemically dependent person.  This might include immediate or extended family members, a spouse or partner, and close friends.  Other people who might be asked to be involved include the person's employer, doctor, clergy, or a school counselor, or administrator.  If the chemically dependent person has been involved with the juvenile or criminal justice system, a probation officer, parole officer, or other

professional might also be included in the intervention team.In forming the team the counselor has to ask two questions: Who are the most significant people in the user's life.Will they come to the counselor's office and get involved?

The second step is to encourage detachment. Detachment does not mean you no longer care about what happens to the chemically dependent person.  If fact, quite the opposite is true.  When you are no longer entangled in the emotional ups and downs of the other person's alcohol or other drug use, you are finally freed to intervene.

Intervention usually involves confronting the person about his or her use and the problems it is creating for himself or herself and others.  There is a need for a "united front" among those present, so that the person who is delusioned can better hear you.  When you are detached, you can present feelings and incidents in a nonjudgmental, caring way.  You can act responsibly to help prevent the person you care about from further harming himself or herself.  Detachment allows you to intervene in a way without feeling responsible if the person makes a decision you feel is wrong.

Everyone on the intervention team should learn the following about chemical dependence: Alcohol/drug dependence and its effects on the user.Enabling:  its effects on the user, the family, and othersmethods to use to show concerns about alcohol/drug use. The interventionist has two tasks to perform with team members:1.To evaluate each person as to the knowledge of the disease of chemical dependence and his/her emotional capability to detach from enabling.

Data are the chemically-related facts or events which you are going

to present during the Intervention Session.  Your data should follow the guidelines below.Data should be chemically-related behaviors or events. It is extremely important that all date is drinking/chemically-related.

If data is not chemically related, we take the focus off the fact that our chemically dependent person has a disease for which he/she needs professional help.  For example, "Dad, last Friday you were drinking and driving; you were arrested and charged with a DUI."  This piece of data is chemically related and tells the chemically dependent person that it is the chemical use which is causing his/her problems and his/her harmful consequences.If the data had been stated as "Dad, last Friday you were arrested for reckless driving", then the data is not appropriate for the Intervention Session because it is not chemically related.

The chemically dependent person can deny that this incident was unusual (Everyone breaks the speed limit now and then) and can deny that the chemicals were the cause of the irresponsible drinking behavior ("I was in a rush - It was a rough day and I was upset").

We have to tell the chemically dependent person with every piece of data we present that it is the chemical use which we are concerned about and which is the cause of his/her problem, harmful consequences and inappropriate behavior; it is the chemicals for which the person needs help.

Data should be witnessed or documented chemically-related behaviors or events. In other words, we have to be sure data really happened and that we are reporting that data as it happened.  For example, "Mom, Tuesday morning you were shaking, your face was pale, and you looked

sick and scared."  This piece of data was witnessed and was reported as witnessed.  A piece of data such as "I think you are having an affair; or I think you go to the bar instead of working late at the office" is speculative and is a guess, not a fact.  This means that you report incidents which you have personally witnessed. You cannot report data which other people have witnessed.

Data should point out facts about total chemical consumption or usage.  Some of the items of data should focus on the amount of chemicals the chemically dependent person is presently using, such as "Mom, you have five prescriptions for Valium, all from different doctors.   You take 20 pills a day", or "Dad, you drank eight cans of beer every evening this week; by 8:00 p. m. you were drunk and asleep.Data should specify the date or time when a chemically related event or behavior occurred.

The more specific we can be about when, where, and with whom a chemically related incident occurred, the more credible we will be.  Also remember that the chemically dependent person was probably intoxicated when these incidents happened and was therefore not perceiving or sensing accurately.  The more information we can provide them, the more we will help them recall these incidents.  Data should specify when an incident occurred and can be stated as "Last Friday" or "On June 15th" or "on our last anniversary" or "during this past month."

If possible, data should be recent.  Incidents that happened last week will be easier to recall and have more impact than data that happened ten years ago. If you cannot

recall a specific date, specify the time by the month during which an incident occurred or the season.Data should be presented with care and concern.  We need to begin and end each data presentation with a statement which says, "I am here because I love you, care about you, and I want you to get some help."    We should present our data in a factual but supportive manner.

Many times the data we discuss will be Painful for us to talk about and for the chemically dependent person to hear.  We should be honest      about the fact that these things are difficult for us to say, but that we care too much to leave these things unsaid. Data should include the consequences we experienced and feelings we had as a result of the chemically related behavior or event.  Data should include your feelings;    ("I was embarrassed by what you did.  I was scared for you or myself. I called up your boss and lied for you.  I carried you out of the bar.  I cleaned up your mess.  I borrowed money from my parents to pay our bills.

Be careful not to "blame".  Tell the truth in a factual manner, and let the chemically dependent person know that you chose your own reactions and responses to his/her behavior or these events.  But also let him/her know that you have been affected by his/her chemical problem and that these effects have not been pleasant.